I Can't Play Without the Pieces
by Sgt Skillcraft
Summary: *Repost* Ep 5X07 & 5X08 mostly from Tamsin's POV. After Bo defines the nature of their relationship, Tamsin sets out to rebuild her life and ends up redefining her relationships with everyone in the Happy Sunshine Gang, including Lauren, Vex, Dyson and Trick. Missing and extended scenes. Sorry folks, that didn't get to finish reading it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Lost Girl characters or situations, nor do I have any means or intention of profiting from this derivative work based on said characters and situations. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 1: Peer Gynt and Other Fairy Tales

Dyson didn't want her to go back to Lauren's clinic to check on Bo. Of course he didn't; it was he who suggested Bo stay there with Lauren while she and he patrolled the streets in the aftermath of the ancient's surprise storm. Tamsin was fae, like him, and most certainly more of a threat to his potential future with the gorgeous brunette than the human doctor. In Tamsin's mind, she was now the odds on favorite in the game to win Bo's heart. Dyson had been maneuvering her away from the succubus all day. And now he was asking her to go out again, alone this time. He was warning her about Bo's promiscuous nature. _As if I wasn't blatantly aware of it already. I_ _ **do**_ _live with her_ she thought. _I don't want to change her. She's perfect._

She was only worried about one paramour in particular and told him as much. Tamsin knew Lauren would surely never share Bo with her since Dyson was off limits to the succubus while the doctor dated her. The agreed upon sexual 'meal plan' was no former lovers, and the Valkyrie could understand why. She remembers Kenzi jokingly referring to the 'no wolf' rule, strings or no strings. She almost laughs, recalling the goth's accompanying 'air quotes,' eye roll and sour face until she notices the detective is moving with a purpose and breaks out of her reverie. "Hey, where are you going?" she asked as he headed for the door. "To see about a girl." he stated turning slightly looking back.

Tamsin stood there for a brief moment, still damp from the downpour outside and both hands on the towel draped over her shoulders, contemplating what to do next. Even though the wolf told her she smelled good wet, she was tired of the damp clothes chaffing her and wanted a shower. Dyson had asked her to clear the streets of any evidence of the ancient gods and Alicia's missing person flyers picturing her husband, but she wasn't a cop anymore; she no longer had an obligation to 'protect and serve.' And he wasn't really her partner anymore.

She was Bo's partner in her private investigation enterprise, at his request. She thought it strange at the time, but came to realize that Bo was lonely and deeply hurt by Kenzi leaving after she returned from Valhalla. The shifter could not stand to see his former and sometime lover suffering, so he made a ridiculously false assertion that she and the succubus made a good team to try to convince her to stay. _But one does not simply replace Kenzi_ she thought remembering the Sean Bean meme Kenzi showed her on her (most likely stolen) iPod. It was hard for Tamsin to give up her independence and steady paycheck, yet she jumped at the chance to be more than a business partner and best friend to the succubus like the diminutive Russian. And she told herself she was more than that to Bo. Why should she take orders from Dyson? He was going after a girl. She shrugged her shoulders making up her mind. _I'm going after my girl too._

Other than occasional wail of sirens and backup warnings of heavy equipment in the distance, the streets were quiet but dark as she made the long trek to the Evony's Ego Stroking Memorial Clinic or whatever the hell the former Morrigan named it. _Lauren has some set of balls on her turning Evony human and getting her own clinic out of it instead of her own grave_ the Valkyrie thought. This unwanted epiphany segued into what Bo and Lauren might be up to after the power went out in the city given the good doctor's acknowledged boldness and cunning.

She quickened her pace, thankful there were few people out and about other than a few brave souls looting or salvaging their own property. Sprouting her wings and flying was not an option, given that it might attract unwanted and potentially fatal attention from the ancients. A vehicle would have come in handy, and not for the first time since she crashed her truck she wished she would have just gone back to working as a cop so she could afford to buy another one. _Why doesn't Dyson want me back on the police force? He knows Bo works mostly pro bono and I have no income, no home of my own, not even my own vehicle. As a result I'm dependant on her good graces and hospitality. Isn't he worried I will rise above him in her affections? He obviously doesn't see me as a serious competitor._ _Come to think of it, Lauren didn't get rattled when I told her I was getting closer to Bo._ Overhead, the storm clouds were clearing, but in the blonde's mind dark thoughts were beginning to build like metaphorical thunderheads. She was now damp from sweat as well as from the rain and briefly wondered if Dyson would still think she smelled good wet.

As the ominous, nagging, yet nameless feeling in the back her mind struggled to break to the forefront of her thoughts and command her full attention, and she broke a jog as she desperately tried to hold it off with rambling musings: _Some tunes would be nice too, if only I had my truck and my Wilco CDs damn Dyson never gave that bootleg back to me- oh well I don't have anything to play it on anyway I should have got an MP3 player Kenzi had such a huge music library she did like some weird stuff though I sure miss the classics though not the Italian composers maybe like The Ring nah too depressing oh Bo has good taste in music..._ **Bo**. Surely Lauren was too busy with patients in the midst of all this chaos to 'play doctor' with the succubus. Surely. _Bo loves me, I know she does. Lauren is living in a fairy tale if she thinks she can be in a relationship with a succubus._

A low, slow tune began in the background her flimsy self-imposed positive thoughts adding to the turmoil in Tamsin's brain, each phrase getting louder and faster with her footfalls as she almost literally heard the all too familiar Norwegian classical tune, a tune she could not get out of her head. Grieg's _In the Hall of the Mountain King_ was the soundtrack of the Valkyrie's race to the clinic drowning out every thought other than _**faster**_. She was in an all-out sprint by the time it reached the crescendo and at the clinic's door when the last note faded away in her mind. Something was wrong. Something she hadn't expected. Death.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Wicked is Hard Work

Tamsin stood frozen by the clinic door, paused not by panic or surprise, but to ready herself for battle. Death was here. She could sense it as clearly as she felt the last vestiges of sweat running down her face. This was not the feeling from the bodies in the morgue, nor people succumbing to the injuries that sent them to the clinic, but unexpected sudden death – swift and silent. The clinic's emergency lights were on, but there were no outward signs of life, none of the frantic activity she witnessed earlier in the evening. Where were the patients, the loved ones waiting anxiously for word on the injured, the doctors, interns, receptionists or even late night janitors? _I_ _ **knew**_ _something was wrong!_ she thought, oddly relieved while still terribly worried. She took a deep breath, calming herself and tapping into her tactical instincts as she reached for the handle of the clinic door. It swung open easily and she stepped inside. _Lauren should really start locking her doors._

The valkyrie crept silently through the reception area of the clinic, all senses alert for any sign of danger. It was as empty as it seemed from the outside; the battery powered emergency lighting casting eerie shadows with its dim blue glow. There were no bodies, to Tamsin's relief, but the scattered papers, equipment, and wheel chairs left unfolded and blocking the walkways bore witness to an expeditious and panicked mass exodus. As she moved slowly into the hallway leading to the examination rooms, the faint sound of music reached her ears. It was coming from the very back of the clinic, from the area that housed the human doctor's private lab and offices. The warrior in her was in control now and she resisted the urge to run towards the source of the music and methodically cleared the series of small examination rooms along the way to the door at the end of the hall.

As she reached for the doorknob, Tamsin's resolve faltered and she hesitated. The doubt she used so effortlessly on others flared up within her with a vengeance. Letting out a deep breath she began her own internal self-talk litany she once suggested to Bo: _They all left in a hurry – Evony is too damn cheap to invest in an effective backup generator. They must have evacuated to a hospital and left the radio on, no big deal. Bo always helps people in need, she and Lauren are probably being Debbie-do-gooders across town in an ER somewhere. I need to make sure it is safe for them to return._ She nodded her head as if to prove to herself the validity of her own suppositions and twisted the knob, quietly opening the door and stepping inside. _Again with the lack of security awareness! How has that woman managed to stay alive this long?_

A quick visual sweep of the lab proved it to be empty and a small portable radio the source of the soulful, romantic tune. Death was here; this was the place. The Valkrie in her could feel the soul somewhere beyond the first office. As Tamsin cautiously stepped inside she called out softly, "Bo?" _So far so good,_ she thought. As she took another step, she spoke another name "Lauren?" _"I wanted to runway with you..."_ the singer mournfully crooned from the radio speakers. Looking around she jokingly called out to the only other voice she could hear, "Soul singer?" It was then she noticed a soft, white light coming through the half-opened and cheap metal blinds of the window to Lauren's small office. Not only light was seeping out of the office, but sounds, sounds she was all too familiar with. It was unmistakably the sounds of sex. Lauren and Bo were on a examination bed in the back of the room fucking.

She stood stock still staring, save for her eyebrows slowly scrunching together as her face became a mask of sorrow. After a moment the blonde's eyes moved away from the scene in front of her to stare straight ahead. Her vision faded into nothing but white light and the only sounds she heard was the blood pounding in her head. _No,_ she realized, _they are not fucking. They are not having sex. That is making love._ Mercifully, a loud ringing in her ears began drowning out all conscious thought and all her remaining senses. Tamsin had no idea how long she stood like that until or what broke her out of her trance, but when she did regain control of herself she found she was staring once again in the direction of the two lovers. It was over, thank the gods. However, witnessing the afterglow antics of the two was much more painful than catching them in the act itself.

Bo was cradling Lauren, gently caressing her face as the doctor gazed lovingly into her eyes. They were softly murmuring to each other. Both women seemed ignorant of the fact that their activities were being watched. Remembering how the succubus had always scooted to the far side of the bed after their own 'sessions' between the sheets, Tamsin now saw the extent of her self-delusion. _She didn't even want to touch me afterwards. Like she felt ashamed; dirty. Not ashamed of what she did, but of whom she did it with. Not like how she felt after fucking Lauren, Dyson, Rainer or some random stranger from a bar. For fuck's sake, she wasn't even fazed when she fucked Mark, her client; until she found out he was Dyson's son. No, post fucking shame is reserved for_ _ **me.**_

The epiphany was visceral and painful, shattering her very soul. She shouldn't be here, witness this. The guilt of all the horrible things she ever did in her many lives washed over her like a tsunami. It was a sacrilege for a thoroughly wicked creature as herself to intrude on this obviously spiritual act. The Valkyrie slowly backed up, retracing her steps as if she suddenly realized she had been walking in a mine field. Reaching out blindly behind her, Tamsin's hand sought for, and found the door knob.

The presence of death and feelings of imminent danger forgotten in her state of shock, her only priority now was to leave. She made her way quickly and quietly out of the clinic and to the corner at the end of the block where she leaned against the non-functioning streetlight pole and absent mindedly chewed her lower lip. _I don't know what to do!_ The words she told Bo during their fight as Taft's came back to haunt her yet again. Bo had told her to fight for what she herself believed worthwhile and righteous. The conviction in those eyes both brown and blue made her believe she could be whoever she wanted to be instead of a tool of Freya, the Morrigan, or anyone to use as they saw fit and then discard on a whim. She convinced the Valkyrie she could break the cycle of live, serve, and expire over and over again. _It was all a cruel joke. I didn't free myself, I merely changed masters. I wanted her to kill me so that I wouldn't have to betray her or my employer. She made me choose a side, betray everyone else in my life and now I'm stuck. I can't fight this, and I have nowhere to run to._

Tears began to well up in her green eyes, and she watched her feet as they broke free of her eye lashes falling silently on the wet pavement. Someone was approaching slowly in a vehicle, engine revving and music blaring; she didn't care enough to even look up. The Valkyrie was contemplating the simple truth of the chorus. _Aint't no rest for the wicked-until I close my eyes for good. Death would have been a sweet out, after all._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Home is Where the Truth Lives

Tamsin heard the music and engine noise getting progressively louder as lifted truck stopped on her corner. She didn't look up, simply taking in the situation through her peripheral vision. A young man whom the Valkyrie would have disparagingly labeled as 'trailer trash' in her previous life leaned out of the passenger window shouting at her over the sound of the blaring music and straight pipe engine rumble, "Hey baby, wanna go to a bonfire party in Brazenwood?"

 _We kissed there,_ she thought. Her green eyes squeezed shut and in answer merely shook her head. The bitter reminder of her failed attempt at love shoved any thought of possible distraction a party might give her out of her mind. Her revulsion of the inhabitants of Brazenwood did not even color her decision; in this moment there was not a person on earth whom Tamsin felt superior to, in any way. "Your loss, honey." He obviously directed his next words to the driver, "Let's go, before the cops show up." The other man, however, was not as anxious to leave, "WAIT! I know you!" the driver leaned over and shouted emphatically to the Valkyrie.

She did look up this time, and quickly. People who knew Tamsin generally had beef with her. Narrowing her eyes she searched for some familiar feature of the man that would connect him with the memory of the circumstances of their meeting. He put the truck in park and reached out to turn down the stereo with his overly hairy arm and callused hand. She ticked off the other details of his appearance in her head: dirty plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off, greasy auburn hair jutting out from under a DeKalb seed corn trucker hat, patchy beard not shaven in about a week, sloe-eyed and narrow-nosed, blue jeans faded and torn not by design but by hard work, teeth stained by cigarettes and the gods know what else. He was typical of a dark fae from Brazenwood. Nothing rang a bell. Before she could identify the reason the man would know her, he gleefully informed her – "You're the Valkyrie that were with that hot brunette that killt Whitman!" _Shit! shit shit SHIT.! This isn't going to end well._

"Yeah…," Tamsin replied slowly, wincing internally at the reference to Bo and not sure where he was going with this revelation. Again, he eagerly supplied the answers to her unasked questions, "I'm Buck, the Landlady's boyfriend. Anyways, Whitman was a fucking piece of shit and nobody 'round our way misses him. Why don't you come with us? We 'went shopping,' if you know what I mean! Folks are sayin' it's the end of the world, and us dark fae gotta stick together, right?" She darted her eyes briefly to the bed of the truck, loaded with boxes of booze, snacks, and various other creature comforts looted, no doubt, while the police were busy with more important calls.

"No thank you." she managed to croak out, her voice cracking just a little. It seemed that they didn't mean her any harm, and surprisingly, that was disappointing to her. The driver seemed to just now notice her emotional turmoil and his expression softened, the wistful smile on his face reaching his dark eyes. Buck reached through the sliding back window of the truck and grabbed a glass pint flask of some sort of clear liquor out of a box in the bed and nudged his passenger with it. The coverall clad passenger stopped his lurid ogling of the blonde and turned irritatingly to his buddy behind the wheel. Seemingly, he was oblivious to the conversation that just took place, and snapped, "What!" Buck didn't address him and simply nodded towards Tamsin, indicating it was for her.

Coveralls let out an alcohol soaked huff of impatience and roughly thrust the bottle at the woman who accepted it without moving her eyes from the driver's own as he spoke, "Have a drink on me. And if you change your mind…you know where to find us." With that, he put the truck in gear and tore off into the night. "Hey, bring your friend, the hot one!" coveralls added, hanging out of the passenger window as the truck pulled away.

As the Brazenwood boy's whoops and hollers faded off in the distance, Tamsin lowered her head, looking at the bottle in her hand. It was peach schnapps. _Disgusting._ She put it in her jacket pocket without thinking further on it. I was a gift, after all. She didn't get very many of them and was not in a situation were refusing one would be prudent. Curiously, she felt numb after her surprise encounter with the pair of dark fae, yet still clueless about what she should do next. Nevertheless, soon she was moving again, head still down, robotically as if her body obeyed the last orders given to her despite her mind's rebellion.

Dyson had told her to patrol the streets, and so she did. Tamsin had no intention of looking for the ancients, but silently wished they would find her. She wasn't really sure if she would get rid of Alicia's flyers if she did find any not blown away by the tornado or accompanying storm, either. Somehow, for whatever reason, the Valkyrie felt empathetic towards the human woman's plight, even though they had never even met. Tamsin had let the wolf in on her opinion of this matter, which he had brusquely dismissed. There was no way they could let Alicia find out the truth, that her husband's body was now an ancient god.

 _She saw her supposedly dead husband walking around! She obviously loved him very much. I would sure as hell want to find out the truth if I were in her shoes, consequences be damned!_ She didn't wander very far when she found herself outside one of the few places in town where there was still electricity – a hospital. It seemed a logical place to look for Alicia's flyers, and right now, feeling useful was crucial the the Valkyrie. Purpose was the only thing stopping her thoughts from exploring the dark places in her mind she never wanted to revisit again.

The sliding glass doors to the emergency room entrance where locked open and Tamsin wandered in passed the uniformed police officers shouting orders at incoming vehicles, taking in the scene before her silently. The waiting room was standing room only, dimly lit, and the only sounds murmurs and stifled sobbing. _Misery loves company,_ she mused to herself. It seemed to her the only people she encountered tonight were those who were suffering from the chaos and those taking advantage of it. _Wolves and sheep. Is there no middle ground in this world?_ She looked around for the signs guiding visitors to the public break room and made her way there easily, without being confronted or questioned.

It was less crowded, no doubt because with fewer chairs and the vending machines non-functioning to conserve power it had lost it's appeal to those eagerly awaiting treatment or word on their loved one. THERE. On the back wall was a public bulletin board and one of Alicia's flyers pinned to it, half-hidden by an ad for a beat-up looking truck with 'ICE cold A/C!' and a 'STRONG engine!' as it's major selling points. The Valkyrie reached out and touched the picture of the man she now knew as Heratio with trembling fingers while she decided to go with her instincts or Dyson's. "Do you know him?"

The question startled Tamsin so much she guiltily jumped back dropping her hand, eyes searching left and right unsuccessfully for the source of the query. _Busted!_ Looking down and to her left she found it – a middle-aged woman with an open face and sad blue eyes in a wheel chair, her right leg in a bright new cast. "I'm sorry, what?" The wheel-chair bound woman gestured at the flyer and asked "That missing man, do you know him, or think you saw him?" The Valkyrie let out a huff of relief, this was merely small talk; the woman obviously knew nothing about what was truly happening. _Everybody_ _ **loves**_ _small talk._

"No. No, I just need a truck." She tore off a serrated phone number from the truck flyer and stuffed it into her pocket as if doing so would make it true. _It is true. I_ _ **do**_ _need a truck. Especially now._ "Well I hope that lady finds her husband." the woman continued with conviction. Tamsin blurted out before she could stop herself, "If something horrible happened to him, she might be better off never knowing. At least she could still hope." The older woman scoffed at this and supplied, "No, no, no, dear. The uncertainty is what tears people apart inside, not the truth. You have…" The blonde was now starting to get impatient with the conversation and snapped back angrily "MAYBE, the truth is too painful, and hope is the only good thing she has in her life!"

Green eyes bored intently into pale blue ones that did not falter from her stare. Tamsin realized she was no longer talking about Alicia or about a hypothetical missing person case. _This_ _ **isn't**_ _small talk._ She broke away from the seemingly wise gaze of the woman and stared off into space. She thought the exchange was over until the broken legged woman spoke up again in her annoyingly kind voice probing further, "Did you lose someone tonight, sweetie?" Tamsin hesitated for a beat, but answered honestly, whispering, "I'm not sure." A lone tear escaped to travel down her cheeks with this epiphany.

Further conversation as blissfully interrupted when the woman's apparent husband came bolting into the room babbling about the cops towing his car if he didn't move it in 5 minutes. He fumbled for the brakes on the wheel chair, eager to usher his wife out of there. The valkyrie ignored him, not wanted to be dragged into yet another pointless conversation until he addressed her directly, "Can you give me a hand please, lady? I gotta get back to my car." _Oh well, so much for that idea._ Tamsin nodded her assent, not wanting to squander anymore of her dwindling control of her emotions on speaking without sobbing and grabbed the handles of the wheelchair. The man smiled briefly at her, pecked his wife on the cheek, and barreled out of the room to the emergency room door.

 _Chatty Kathy is suddenly silent, thank fuck._ The blonde thought as she pushed the inquisitive woman to her waiting husband. Once they were outside, hubby quickly helped her put his wife into the passenger seat all the while mumbling "yeah, yeah, yeah" to the officers nagging him about his lack of parking etiquette and disregard for the rules. He jumped into the driver's seat leaving Tamsin to close the passenger door. As she put her hand through the door's rolled down window and did just that, the woman placed her own hand on the Valkyrie's before she could pull away. Their eyes met. "The truth is always best, honey. Hope only dulls the pain temporarily. We can't even begin to heal until we know the truth, however much it hurts."

Chatty Kathy's husband's frantic hands finally got the keys in the ignition and started the car as Tamsin stood up straight. The radio blared to life with the engine wafting the soft tones of a sad dirge she was sure she had heard many years ago. " _…and I'm wasted and I can't find my way home."_ They drove off into the night leaving her alone in a crowd of people. Home. That is where she needed to go, if she even had a home anymore. Truth. That was her mission, to find the truth. The truth she needed would be found at home if she could muster the courage to face it. Without thinking, Tamsin fetched the bottle out of her jacket and took a long pull off it, her course of action now clear as she strode purposefully in the direction of the clubhouse.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Two out of Three Ain't Bad, or Enough

Tamsin had never experienced or understood pre-battle fear until this very moment, standing outside the clubhouse door in the early pre-dawn hours. Bo was home and awake if the soft candlelight peaking the boarded-up windows was any indication. This is it. The game she entered for Bo's heart had now become a battle in her estimation, a battle to salvage at least a fraction of her lover's affection. She was shaking now, and took a second pull off the sickeningly sweet liquor to try to calm herself. Before an actual battle, she would check her armor, horse, and weapons while mentally going over her plan. She fell back on this old habit to calm her nerves.

She decided to tell Bo that she could have Lauren, Dyson, and any other lover she wanted so long as Bo loved her. That was her weapon, something neither of her rivals had offered the succubus. The Valkyrie had always been truthful and non-judgmental with her lover, _so I have that going for me._ _And we work on cases together, she feeds off me whenever she needs to, and I live here, so it's convenient for her, and I even brought lovers home for her! She doesn't even need to go out hunting. I will remind her that am the only one that truly accepts her nature without wanting to change her in anyway._ Suddenly the memories of what she had witnessed this evening and the succubus's choice of Dyson to heal-bang her after Musashi stabbed her dampened her hopes. _No matter what_ she thought _I will tell her how I loved the very idea of her since I took the bounty long before she was born. That I never loved before and will never love another and am hers no matter whom she chooses to be with. I will pledge my fealty to her, as Dyson did._ Sighing, she tucked the bottle back into her jacket, opened the door, and walked inside.

"Let Dyson and Tamsin I'm Ok. I just need some time alone to process all this. Bye Lauren." Bo concluded her call to Lauren with a smile as Tamsin walked in, overhearing the conclusion of the conversation. "Hey, should I leave you alone?" she asked as the succubus turned to face her. The blonde half hoped she would be asked to leave. Smiling brightly as she set the phone down, Bo answered "No, Tamsin, you live here, I didn't mean you." There was something about that smile that bothered the Valkryie as she replied quietly, "OK." and tucked her hands into her back pockets, neither of which held her cell phone. Looking down, she thought _Ah shit, must have left it at Dyson's – but at least I won't have to field that call Bo just asked Lauren to make._ She glanced at her roommate again to try to discern what bothered her about that smile. It was the smile of someone who was lying because they were bound by obligation or habit born of upbringing to be polite and not hurt other's feelings. _Bullshit. She especially meant me._ Her green eyes fell back to her shoes at the revelation.

"Are you OK?" The question brought the blonde's eyes back up to face her inquisitor for a moment before they darted around the room as if looking for the answer. Tamsin nearly jumped at the opportunity to tell her own white lie, say she was fine, just tired. She had a chance to just forget the whole thing and go to bed, her bed, in Kenzi's old room and pretend nothing ever happened between them. She could just go on with her life as if sex with the Bo was just another meaningless tryst for her. Bo was silently asking her to do just this with her insincere smile, even if the succubus wasn't aware of what she was doing or why she was doing it. The Valkryie was so exhausted, mentally, physically, and spiritually, yet she couldn't run away from this moment. The uncertainly was tearing her apart, and no matter what she did things could never go back to the way they were before. It was time for truths, however painful. "Umm,…not really." Tamsin finally got out. Now forced to acknowledge the emotional mess the Valkrie was, her face morphed into the visage of one about to do something they hated to do, but were dead set on carrying out. The time for fake smiles and social niceties was over. She slowly blinked and nodded slightly, "We need to talk."

Tamsin's face suddenly brightened and she stepped forward bringing her hands in front of her body and interlocking her fingers. "Bo, I know what you're going to say, and I just want you to know I'm OK with it. As hard as that is, I'm OK with it." The brunette seemed a bit confused, but played along to find out just what the Valkyrie meant by the statement and probed, "You are…" Tamsin was carefully gauging the succubus's reaction to everything she said to her. "Yeah, you're a succubus. You're going to need to sleep with other people, ya know…" Bo smiled, a small one-yet genuine. The blonde continued "…even if those other people happen to be…Lauren..." Not good, the smile was gone; Bo seemed be in shock. _She_ _ **knows**_ _I saw them together._ She continued quickly, "but I know where your heart truly lies." Tamsin forced herself to smile now as her voice began to crack, though she still carried on. "It's with me!" Stunned into silence, the normally chatty brunette watched as her roommate stepped closer and asked of her "I just need you to say it, just once, so I know." Tamsin gazed at Bo awaiting her answer, hope and despair washing over her facial features in turns.

"Tamsin…" As Bo finally spoke with a sigh and smile that betrayed how ridiculous she believed the request, despair won the battle for dominance in the blonde's expression. The succubus continued more seriously, "… I care about you, more than you know…" she paused. "But…" Tamsin helped her along, eager to get it over with while thinking _I don't know because you never show it_. "…and I know it seems like we're a couple because we live together, and we take cases together, " the Valkyrie dropped her gaze briefly as she added "…and we sleep together." The succubus internally winced in guilt at that but, responded immediately to try to smooth things over, "Look, Tamsin, I think that deep down-you feel the same way!" She was grinning now as she nearly laughed at the end of her response. The succubus didn't want to just tell the Valkyrie she didn't love her in return. That might be too painful for the fragile state Tamsin was exhibiting. Bo knew the Valkyrie had no understanding of love and ergo could not feel it. Or at the very least, that is what she hoped. She was giving the Valkyrie a chance to save face, a chance to drop the pretense of love and go back to the way things were. The way the Bo needed things to be. Tamsin didn't take the bait. _She doesn't think I can feel love!_

"Don't patronize me. I'm wise beyond my lives. Don't tell me I'm making this up; don't tell I'm stupid!" The Valkyrie's voice was cracking now with the force of the emotion she put into her words; she was losing control over the despair in her heart. "I'm not, I'm just saying that…" The brunette paused, now in full damage control mode. She didn't mean to rile the blonde, but she was desperate to get her point across. Everything would be so much easier for both of them if Tamsin could be convinced she wasn't in love. "…living with someone and being close to them all the time, it's…" The succubus paused again, glancing around, nodding and shaking her head slightly all the while as if trying to shake the right words out of her head to fix this. This conversation was going south fast and the Valkyrie was steering it to places Bo didn't want to go. "…it can be confusing." Tamsin answered quickly and dashed all of Bo's dreams of maintaining the status quo. "I am not confused. I'm not. I'm in love with you." The last words were just above a whisper, mournful and desperate as tears welled up in her beautiful green eyes.

"Tamsin…" Bo began again with a smile, "…I love you. I do!" The Valkyrie smiled slightly at the admission. Then the succubus dropped her smile and her expression was serious as the grave when she added her caveat, "…but not like that." A hundred emotions flickered across Tamisin's face as Bo watched her and added "I'm sorry." in the most heartfelt tone she had every used with the Valkyrie. Tamsin looked down for a moment before facing Bo again and began to try to process her situation out loud, "So, Lauren's good enough …Dyson's good enough …even Rainer's good enough. What's wrong with me? Why not me? What's wrong with me?!" She completely broke down before she was done talking, sobbing as the gathered tears fell. "There is nothing wrong with you!" Bo quickly and emphatically assured her, yet made no move to comfort her physically. _Just this evening she was comforting complete strangers-hugging them, holding their hands, putting her arm around their shoulders in empathy, yet is loath to touch me at all,_ Tamsin thought as she sniffed loudly and fought to regain control. Seeing the sympathy and guilt on the succubus's face strengthened her resolve to pledge her fealty. Everything would be alright; she would show Bo her strength and fortitude by giving her blood oath to stand by her, even if she didn't love her in return. _Maybe someday, my love and loyalty would be returned, and no matter how small the measure of it – I will be happy._

She wiped the tears from her green eyes as she began to offer her final life without reservation or expectation of reciprocity from the succubus. "You know, I thought that finally, in my last life, that I had found the one." Tamsin sniffed to stop her runaway nose and suddenly stepped forward, placing both hands on Bo's cheeks and staring with determination into her deep brown eyes. "Your eyes are both brown and blue…" A loud clicking of electrical breakers interrupted her, announcing the restoration of power. The brunette seemed more interested in the modern miracle of incandescent bulbs that sprang to life than the heartfelt declaration being given to her as her brown eyes darted around the room. Tamsin stood still a moment, waiting to regain Bo's attention until the succubus' head, impeded by her hands, began tried in vain to follow her eyes. _What the actual FUCK! She denies I have feelings, rejects me and is now so interested with the power coming back on that she won't even talk with me. Does she need to reset her alarm clock or something?_ she thought as her head fell and her hands dropped as she stepped back to allow the brown eyes to look at the lights in the room as they were wont. It suddenly occurred to the Valkyrie that although she had referred to Bo and her friends as family, she was never given the same moniker. She was partner, Valkyrie, lil T, Tam Tam or Tammy (both of which she hated,) or coldly and quite often - roommate. Not once had any of them even named her as a friend, save Kenzi. And she was gone now. These people weren't her family, and this hovel wasn't her home. She was an interloper, a roommate in every sense of the word: temporary, transient, necessary yet easily replaceable. She sniffed; sighed, and looked into the face she loved so much one last time, hoping she had regained her attention. But Bo was still looking around the room, to busy trying to decipher the significance of the unexpected return of electricity to notice.

 _Fuck this. I can't be here; she won't even acknowledge me, let alone listen to me._ The Valkyrie turned on her heel and stepped towards the door fully expecting to leave without any intervention from her easily distracted 'roommate.' She was mistaken. Once the first footfall sounded the succubus suddenly realized Tamsin, just a moment ago so intent on telling her something important was leaving. She stepped forward and began speaking to her softly, but urgently to make her stop, "Tamsin…" Her roommate did stop, turning only to interrupt her with "Don't. Follow me." before turning once again to exit the clubhouse. Desperate to tell the Valkyrie what had happended with the oracles, Bo stepped forward quickly and grabbed Tamsin's left arm demanding her attention loudly and urgently "TAMSIN!" She was acting childish, in the brunette's mind. The Valkyrie's feelings could wait when there were more important issues they needed to discuss. The Valkrie whirled around to face her and roughly shook off the offending hand shouting her own demand " **DON"T!"**

Only in that very moment did Bo realize how much she had overplayed her hand. She needed strong people around her, craved their friendship and attention. The family she had finally built in the fae colony was slowly drifting apart. Dyson was busy trying to raise his son. Kenzi had left after being taken for granted too long, and now her compulsion to mold Tamsin into what she desired her to be was driving her away, as well. Bo longed for the days of verbal sparring and honest discussions with the Valkyrie; the times when she would grudgingly allow the succubus to feed from her. She could feed guilt-free from Tamsin because there were no feelings at all between them, unlike how Dyson always promised-yet never meant. She willfully dismissed all the signs that the blonde felt more for her than she let on, because it was never said explicitly and knowing the Valkyrie's oft-stated derision of love. She had hoped to keep Tamsin near, yet distant emotionally. Until the day Tamsin called her 'girlfriend.' Yet still Bo delayed the inevitable, there were always more important matters demanding her attention. She wanted and needed Tamsin as a partner and ally, but she couldn't love her.

The expression on the blonde's face as she stared back at her was hard to classify, but definitely signaled the end of whatever was between them. What the brunette could easily identify was anger, hurt, regret, and despair. As the Valkyrie relaxed and turn to leave once again, her expression softened a bit and the succubus caught one more thing – humiliation. And then she was gone. Bo didn't try to stop her a third time. The Valkyrie was just ashamed of breaking down in front of her and needed to lick her wounds, to heal her damaged pride - probably by starting a brawl in some Dark Fae dive bar. She slowly closed her eyes. Once she opened them again, she blew out the Artemis candle and strode upstairs to go to bed without bothering to turn off the lights. It was nearly dawn. Bo ran down a litany of positive thoughts as Tamsin had taught her - everything would work itself out. She and Lauren would get back together. Dyson, ever loyal, would remain by her side. And Tamsin would come back. She didn't have anywhere else to go.

The Artemis candle relit itself.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Mother Will She Break My Heart

After shutting the clubhouse door, Tamsin leaned back against it, sighing heavily. She was completely broken inside and couldn't face the succubus and her indifference towards her undignified loss of composure. That fact that Bo cared so much for complete strangers, yet was so ambivalent and distracted that she wouldn't even listen to the Valkyrie was devastating to her. But, she also knew if the succubus had barged out of the door at that very moment and shown her the slightest token of platonic affection she would have stayed. A hug, an understanding hand on her shoulder, a brush of fingertips on her own hand, or even a calling her friend would have melted her ice cold resolve to leave this place. She would have broke down, cried like a baby, and given in to anything Bo asked of her, even if it meant playing roommate with benefits with her while the brunette played loving girlfriend with Lauren in front of her very eyes - day after miserable day.

However, it was a fact that Bo wouldn't come after her, _As sure as the sun is rising and death finds us all, she won't come after me. That's what a friend would do, not a roommate. She couldn't give two shits about me if her life depended on it._ Instinctively, the need to regain her dignity became paramount in Tamsin's priorities. And the first step was to leave and not return until she was ready to face the succubus on her own terms.

She paused for a moment, her talk with Kenzi the night the Russian girl left for Spain swimming back into her memory. The Valkyrie let out a bitter laugh and said aloud to the dawn, "What do you know, Kenzi you were right!" She stuffed her hands into the front pocket of her jeans and her fingers touched a crumpled piece of paper. She pulled it out in curiosity and saw it was phone number from the truck ad. _I do need a truck, I bet Bo will be super fucking busy driving around after Lauren soon, and I'm tired of walking everywhere. Now I just need some money._ She shoved herself off the door and into a fast walk down the street just as the first glimpse of the sun peaked over the horizon, thinking over all the details of the last and prophetic talk she had with her adopted 'momz.'

Flashback

They were all at the Dal, celebrating Kenzi's return when Lauren and Bo snuck off to the cellar to ostentatiously look for a bottle of wine. That's when the ghost Kenzi and Lauren had inadvertently made corporeal attacked them, stopped by the goth shooting it in the back with Trick's shotgun. During the clean-up, and their return to Trick's lair, the succubus had noticed Lauren had been visibly shaken by the attack, but not that Kenzi had been, too. "Why don't you stay and finish your diner. I'll meet you at home later tonight. We can watch a movie." she had told Kenzi with a smile as she pressed the keys to her beloved Camaro into the girl's hand, "I need to drive Lauren home to get cleaned up. She's upset by all this. I'm meeting her for breakfast tomorrow, so I'll have her car tonight, and you can take Tamsin home."

Without waiting for an answer, she ushered her former lover out the door, fussing over her in a flirtingly over-exaggerated manner. Dyson slowly shook his head admiring the doctor's gamesmanship, and beckoned the goth girl back over to the table to join the others. Tamsin watched Kenzi closely as she stared at the keys in her hand until lifting her gaze to the door of Trick's lair. Tamsin jumped up from the table excusing herself to Trick and Dyson, and hurried over to the only mother she had ever known. Catching her eyes and gently extricating the car keys from her hand, the Valkyrie told her softly, "I'll drive you home. We can watch a movie. Together. Whatever you want to watch. Even Jerry McGuire." A sigh, a sniffle, and a nod were the only answer she received.

Once they reached the clubhouse, Kenzi immediately went up to their room with Tamsin in tow. She knelt down by her bed and pulled a medium sized box out from under it. It had Tamsin's name scrawled on it in black marker. "What's that, Kenz?" Blue eyes filled with sad determination met green before she explained "It's your stuff, Tamsin. From your wrecked truck and your desk at work. Dyson brought your duffel bag full of clothes over right after he found you, but this is the rest of your personal effects that sat in the evidence room at the cop shop for awhile. He brought it over right before….you know." Tamsin swallowed and nodded, thinking _before you died_. and silently waited for her to continue. "…anyway, I'm giving it back to you now before I leave." The blonde found her voice at the revelation, "Kenzi, no! We all love you, you can't leave! And Bo needs you! She went through hell to get you back! Literally!" The short brunette was already in motion before her friend's even finished her plea, stuffing clothes and trinkets into suitcases quickly. She didn't pause her packing while she answered, "Two things: number one-yes I can and number two-no she doesn't."

Tamsin was flabbergasted at the fact someone for whom Bo held so much love and respect for could just pick up and leave. Kenzi saw her struggling to understand her motivations, and out the habit of playing mother to the Valkyrie stopped what she was doing and sat on the bed next to her, taking both her hands into her own and looking into her eyes. "Tamsin, listen to me. I love you all, and especially Bo. She will always be a sister to me. But right now, I need more; I need more out of life than being someone's human pet." The blonde shook her head, voicing her confusion "I don't understand. Bo loves you, she does! She missed you so much Kenz, you have to believe me, she drove me bat shit crazy with her worrying sometimes when you were gone!" Kenzi sighed at this and asked the Valkyrie, "Tell me Tamsin, where is she right now?"

Tamsin looked away quickly, she didn't want the her momz to see the disappointment in her eyes at the thought of where Bo was right now or what she might doing with the wily doctor. _I should have punched that bitch in the face for allowing Bo to leave her bestie after everything that happened._ the Valkyrie thought bitterly. "I should have stopped her from leaving, Kenz. Or you should have. It wasn't fair." She said quietly, not voicing her actual, more violent opinion. "No, Tamsin." Her small hand grasped the taller woman's chin to turn those watery green eyes back to stare into her own. "No. My leaving has nothing to do with tonight. I had already made up my mind. And trying to guilt someone you love do what you think is right all the time is too exhausting a job. Ain't nobody got time for that. And it isn't fair to them, either. It's totes a dick move. And life isn't fair." She sighed before continuing, "I'm a tiny human in a fae world, and I'm tired of trying to be something I'm not. I need to find my own way, my own life with me at the center of it, not a satellite of Bo. Do you know what I mean?"

By now Tamsin's tears were falling as she nodded her understanding and told her, "Yeah, I know. It means you're leaving me, and I can't stop you. And neither can Bo." The diminutive Russian pulled her into a hug she readily accepted and returned, both of them now sobbing quietly. They stayed like that for a minute until the goth slowly broke the embrace and began packing again. The Valkyrie got up as well, and silently helped her.

The smaller woman was looking around the room for anything she might have missed when Tamsin voiced a feeling that had bothered her since she went back to Valhalla at Lauren's request. "Kenz…" once she got the girl's attention, she was at a loss for words. Wide blue eyes staring at her with raised eyebrows urged her to continue, yet she still foundered until the other girl threw both her hands in the air almost comically. "…..ummm….it's just that…" Hands were now beckoning her demanding her to finish the thought. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened in Vallhalla!" The words tumbled out of her mouth running over each other and ended with a sigh of relief. She hadn't expected to have only this one chance to apologize.

"Thank you. Apology accepted." Eyes wide, mouth agape, the blonde stood looking at her incredulously. "Seriously! Seriously. Just like that. I tried to KILL you!" The goth merely shrugged, "I know! I was there, remember! I should have never made you watch _The Shining_! However, I must say, your Jack Nicholson **was** on point. Seriously, though, Lauren told me Trick was worried about what you might do in Valhalla after he read your diary, and…" Tamsin snapped back defensively "it's a journal!" The other woman didn't miss a beat and with mock irritation and motherly reprimanded, "…and don't interrupt your elders, young lady! I raised you better than that!" She emphasized her point jokingly with a light punch to the blonde's shoulder, which was rewarded with a satisfying mock grimace of pain from the Valkyrie before giving her the explanation. "Anyways, Bo told me the mouth breather that kept calling me on the phone was her father who did some Jedi mind trick over you when you in Valhalla. And Lauren explained the whole control thing Freya has over Valkyries, how they enter Valhalla, communicate without talking, ooh ohh, and about some guy named Thomas with an enormous…"

"Oh, FUCK MY LIFE! Lauren knows what is in my diary! Shit Fuck fucking shitty fuck fuck!" Tamsin roared then covered her face with her hands, now realizing that her very private life was laid open to her rival and gods knew whom else. She had thought that Trick would just translate for Lauren only information pertinent to getting into Valhalla. The only reason she had handed it over so easily was Lauren's accusation that the Valkyrie had not sacrificed anything for the group had hurt her, deeply. If she had to make one that the doctor could witness, then she would do it to prove her devotion to Bo. Knowledge of the book's existence could get her killed, after all, and the fewer people that knew about it, the better. "Awww, I'm sorry Tam Tam." Kenzi comforted.

Tamsin threw herself down on the bed with a drawn out sigh, her anger dissipating at the thought that this would be the last time she talked like this with her friend. "And I thought it was a journal, anyways!" The shorter woman added because she couldn't help but point this out. "It's ok. I should have never let Frankenbitch manipulate me into giving it to her the way she did. It's not your fault." Tamsin reassured her. Kenzi sat down on the bed next to her, "It kinda is. And it's Dr Frankenbitch, to you." Their eyes met and recognized the humor they saw in each other's gaze. They both laughed at that, eager to lift the mood.

When the mirthful giggling naturally tapered off, the smaller woman spoke again, more seriously this time, "Before I leave tonight, Lil T, I want to tell you something about Bo I've learned from all the years I've been with her. I see the way you look at her, and I know you caught some feels for her." Tamsin turned away at the accusation; she wanted to deny it, but she couldn't lie to Kenzi and waited for her to continue, "I love Bo and all, and I know how loving she can be to anyone in need…especially complete strangers, and helpless people, little old ladies, small animals, decrepit Camaros, homeless Valkyries…but, Tamsin…"

Kenzi waited until the Valkyrie turned her eyes back to hers, "…once she has people that love her, she forgets to be kind and considerate to them. It's not intentional, she doesn't even know how thoughtlessly cruel she can be to the people close to her. She gets tunnel vision sometimes, trying to save the world, and doesn't notice when her friends are falling apart in front her and need her, too. She's a really shitty multi-tasker." The goth concluded with a small joke that lacked the enthusiasm of her earlier ones, yet they both smiled just the same.

Kenzi laid out all of her concerns for her adopted daughter, if she wasn't going to be there for her, she at least needed to give her forewarning. That's what mothers do. "She needs **you** now, not me. She needs your strength and loyalty for whatever shitstorm she will surely get into, and your humor to cheer her up and brutal honesty to keep her in check. She might not always like it, but she needs it. And I know how much you like to bow-chicka-wow-wow as much as a succubus, but don't jump into bed with her, Tamsin, please. She treats people she loves better when she knows she can't take them for granted. It's like she has to try harder, or something. Like tonight, she ran after Lauren because they're on a break now or whatever, and because Lauren got a little blood on her shirt, she dumps me and you and everyone else there for her. Even though I just got back from the afterlife! But I'm back now, so – fish ON! Drop it and move on to the next one." She gestured wildly as if she had a fishing pole in her hands with her last statements, emphasizing them, and then sighed heavily dropping her hands to her lap.

Tamsin now fully understood how much Kenzi loved the succubus and how that great love couldn't erase the hurt she felt. Kenzi looked around the room sighing before continuing. "I don't know. But what I do know is this: putting Bo at the center of your universe only leads to disappointment. Dyson and Lauren both have their own lives, away from Bo, so it's not as hard on them. You need to find your own life, too. Listen, I love you like a daughter and I don't want you to get hurt. I love Bo-bear, but I've witnessed her merry-go-round of love and heartbreak. It will be a train wreck for you, believe me. And Lauren and Dyson are my buds but I'm sure they would agree that they would probably be happier if they never bought a ticket for that ride, and Rainer would, too, if he was still alive. And he probably would be, too, if he never got on it."

Tamsin was weeping uncontrollably by the time she finished, and this time initiated the hug. They held each other for many minutes this time until her sobbing became hitched breathing and sniffles. It was the the sound of the front door opening that pulled them apart. Bo called out to Kenzi as she shut the front door, announcing her arrival, and Kenzi answered back she would be right down. They were supposed to watch a movie tonight, and Bo was shouting her apologies for her delay and forgetfulness. Her voice was joyful as her mood was lifted by her long conversation with Lauren who seemed one step closer to being back together with the succubus. Tamsin dried her eyes and kissed Kenzi on the check, "I'm gonna miss you!" she whispered. Kenzi smiled sadly and said "Be a good little Valkyrie, and play nice with the other kids!" with her index finger pointed at the blonde in a jokingly scolding manner before getting up to leave. Tamsin smiled through her tears and watched as the small Russian paused at the bedroom door, looking back one last time. "I love you Momz." Kenzi smiled and answered her back, "I love you, too, Lil T." She closed the door slowly and made her way downstairs to say her goodbyes to Bo.

That night, Tamsin and Bo both cried themselves to sleep in their own beds, both feeling alone and empty.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Nothing Left to Lose Means Freedom

Tamsin walked for an hour or so until she reached the truck stop diner with the country quaint name of Joe Bob's. The Valkyrie didn't really of any idea what she was going to do in the long term, but right now she needed to sit down and rest until she deemed herself ready go back to the clubhouse. She was already cried out and a mournful acceptance crept over her, yet it didn't drive away her feelings of emptiness. An unoccupied booth in the corner near the restrooms beckoned to her solitary inclinations, and she made her way to it, plopping down gratefully on the overstuffed bench. She knew she didn't smell too good and looked a wreck, but in a place like this no one would question her appearance. People on the road always have a story, and are too weary to tell theirs or listen to someone else's. Flipping the clean coffee mug already set on the table upright on its saucer, the blonde waited patiently for the waitress.

She had already dug through all her pockets and found a wet and crumpled twenty dollar bill in her jacket. The fact that she remembered how she begged it off of Bo during her undercover assignment as a cheerleader didn't help her out of her bitter mood. Tamsin had wanted to buy some food at the college cafeteria, but got distracted as the case unfolded and priorities changed. Somewhere down the line, she put the bill into her jacket, intending to give it back to the succubus. Despite everything that had happened, she still felt bad about taking the money from her former lover. The succubus had never asked for repayment, in spite of her lack of steady income. _She must have written it off as a payment for services rendered._ Tamsin thought bitterly. _Come to think of it, just where does she get her money from? She rarely, if ever, accepts money from her Private Investigation business clients._

The waitress interrupted her filling her mug with scalding hot coffee and placing a menu on the table in front of her. "Would you like anything else to drink, ma'm?" she asked. "Orange juice, large please." Tamsin answered, grateful that the woman was concise and polite in serving her, offering no other pleasantries or questions about her or her circumstance. By the time she had dumped all the sugar packets in the condiment caddy into her coffee and stirred it thoroughly her orange juice arrived. The waitress took the blonde's order in the same efficient manner and hurried off to the kitchen and her other customers. Tamsin immediately drank half her orange juice and then lowered her gaze to the steaming mug as she slowly stirred her coffee, waiting for it to reach a less than lethal to taste buds temperature. While she was deciding how she should go about gaining a life of her own, as Kenzi had, she was reminded again of her sorry situation.

"I guess Bo must have forgotten to buy Lucky Charms when she went shopping. Or was it Capt'n Crunch? " It wasn't the question, or the voice that brought it forth that made Tamsin visibly cringe. It was the closed mouth unsuccessful attempt by Lauren to stifle her giggles that set the Valkyrie on edge. She then continued to babble something about Tamsin not getting any prizes with her breakfast at the diner while the seated woman did her best to ignore her. _Oh, FUCK ME! Just fucking twist the knife your girlfriend plunged into my heart! She doesn't know what happened, though, or she would have run for the hills._ She thought bitterly to herself, but said nothing. She didn't look up, either, hoping the annoying woman would just go away.

Instead, Tamsin reached into her jacket and filled her half-empty orange juice glass with peach schnapps. As she swirled it around Lauren further observed, "Isn't it a bit early for that, Tamsin, even for you?" _I have no idea what she's doing here, but she is not going to leave until she gets her digs in._ The thought didn't anger the Valkyrie; her only desire right now was to rid herself of the presence of the human doctor and her smarmy insinuations. After all, this was the little game they often played – needling each other while out of earshot of Bo. Well, sometimes in front of Bo, much to her annoyance. And if playing along would stop Lauren from discerning what was really bothering the Valkyrie, she was willing.

Tamsin leaned back against the booth's bench, finally looking at her inquisitor while she took a healthy draught of her makeshift cocktail. "It isn't too early when you've been out all night." The Valkyrie replied with a smirk of her own in a tone that relayed the fact that the answer should have been obvious to the other woman. And indeed, the sudden realization did hit Lauren, taking her aback suddenly. The succubus's roommate was still in the dirty clothes she had on the night before, and her normally neat hair was a mess. The Valkyrie was notorious for her fastidiousness when it came to her golden locks. "Aaahhhh, you got my message! About Bo."

"Yuuuup." Tamsin replied slowly, popping the 'P' with emphasis. She did get the message, just not in the manner the doctor assumed. "Is she here?" Lauren delved, looking a bit worried. "Nnnoooope." was the answer, again with a popping 'P.' "How is she?" The Valkyrie scrunched her nose at this before answering "How the hell should I know? Processing, I guess. Whatever the fuck that means." She finished with an eyeroll. _She is digging for something, and whatever it is she's looking for from me, she's not going to get it._

"Oh. I see." Lauren gingerly slid into the booth across from Tamsin, earning a more exaggerated eye roll from the Valkyrie, as well as a stare of incredulity. _Now what?_ "So," the human continued, "I assume you stayed at Dyson's last night." _For fuck's sake, where is she going with this? Is she trying to find out if I know that she fucked Bo last night?_ Bo's lover was definitely starting to irritate the blonde fae now, but she reigned in her anger taking a deep breath and letting out through her nose. She no longer wished for the human to vanish, the good doctor was proving to be a perfect distraction from the miserable heartache she was experiencing. Tamsin then made up her mind to flip the script on her would be interrogator.

Lauren watched as Tamsin drank her steaming coffee in one gulp, enjoying the pain of its burn. She then grabbed a toothpick from the dispenser on the table, placed it in her mouth and leaned towards her. She couldn't read any emotion in the Valkyrie's face at all, and it was starting to make her a bit nervous. "What makes you think I stayed at Dyson's?" For the second time this morning the doctor was taken aback, her smug half-smile dissolving into nervous ramblings "It's just that…Bo…. I mean Dyson….well you…you know…" the doctor sputtered out searching for a less awkward answer than the one that immediately came to mind. Tamsin raised an eyebrow indicating she didn't know, but was waiting to hear it from the good doctor. Finding her words, she finally spat out her explanation, " ….well, you two seem like such good friends." She finished with a nervous smile that melted into a neutral expression as soon as it colored her features followed by an equally nervous clearing of her throat.

 _She knows I fucked him_. the former detective deduced, her eyes narrowing as she stared intently at her companion. Her instincts and investigative skills were almost always accurate except when blinded by love. _Damn it! Not only can the succubus not keep her legs closed, but she can't keep her mouth shut either! I expected Dyson to feel guilty and confess to her after Rainer died, but I had no idea she would blab my business to everyone else!_ Tamsin was internally seething with anger at her own stupidity for letting people get close to her, to trust them. However, her demeanor, expression, and voice betrayed nothing. "Mmmmhhh." The Valkyrie eventually grunted out, sucking her teeth as she leaned back stretching both her arms across the top of the bench. She rolled the toothpick around in her mouth as she waited for the human to either leave or continue. If the doctor was waiting for a more definitive answer on the Valkyrie's whereabouts the previous evening, she was going to be disappointed. Tamsin sensed Lauren had something she wanted to say to her, something she was having a hard time getting out now that the Valkyrie had taken control of the conversation.

They stayed like that, both in silence; the fae one comfortably so, and the other nervously fidgeting while trying to gauge the mood of disheveled blonde regarding her so unnervingly patiently, yet intensely. Lauren was well versed in psychology and knew her companion's body language was showing confidence, openness and trust, but something was off about the Valkyrie's demeanor that she couldn't place. It wasn't that Lauren felt threatened by Tamsin, it was something deeper and possibly more dangerous than physical violence. The waitress materialized again pouring more coffee for Tamsin and offering a menu to Lauren, who politely refused but accepted a cup of coffee. As the human woman carefully began to pour creamer into her coffee, the silence was finally broken, "I know you don't hang out in truck stops, so what are you doing here, Dr. Lewis?" The question posed to her was devoid of any emotion other than mild curiosity.

"Oh," she was startled and laughed a bit before continuing, concentrating on mixing her coffee and silently thankful for the other woman's bluntness, "I, ahh, had to send a patient home a bit prematurely due to the power outage, and I promised to make a home visit first thing in the morning to make sure they're doing alright. My assistant, Sam, was killed last night – long story, so I have to take on his duties. I stopped here to fill up my gas tank and use the ladies room on the way back." As she finished her explanation of her unexpected appearance, she began tapping the spoon on the spoon on the rim of the cup so excessively that Tamsin began contemplate whether Dr Lewis was suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The human looked up at her companion with a serious expression as she continued, "I'm actually glad I bumped into you; I've wanted to ask a favor of you for quite some time."

 _Not OCD,_ the Valkyrie thought, _she's nervous. And this isn't about her shenanigans with Bo last night, either. She's up to something, I can feel it._ Tamsin simply answered by raising her right hand, palm up, before dropping it again, indicating her willingness to entertain the question as Lauren sipped her coffee then grimaced in pain as the boiling liquid burned her mouth. Politely trying not to let her companion see her snicker, the Valkyrie turned her head to one side before removing the toothpick from her mouth pointing it at the doctor, and catching the doctor's eyes again encouraged, "You were saying…."

"Yes…well….Bo, Dyson and Kenzi have all told me about your wings and how magnificent they are, and Bo said Massimo told her a Valkyrie gains them on her last life and…I don't know if that's true or not…but I'd like to know how you control them, with the latissimus dorsi and trapezius muscle groups, I assume…and…I know you can't tell me much about Valkyries because your blood forbids it, but you do kind of owe me, and this would make us even because I'd really like to see them because, well… I think it would really be beneficial to my research…and, you know …science stuff." She finally concluded her geeked out ramblings clearing her throat again, glancing away quickly before turning back again, and smiling smugly, in a way they both knew Bo found adorable. Tamsin, however, didn't get a warm feeling from Dr Lewis's smile. It was the smile a predator who thinks the prey it has been stalking is unaware of the danger and is about to get taken down and devoured, in her experience.

The toothpick returned to Tamsin's mouth without conscious thought as her mind was too busy mulling over what the doctor had said. _I owe her? Awww shit, that stupid stuffed cat! She lent me 75 dollars to buy it for Bo's birthday gift. She's trying to get me to show her my wings for 75 dollars? Why didn't she just ask? Or ask Bo to convince me to do it? No, there's more to it than that._ "It's painful." She whispered truthfully, trying to gain more time and insight into Lauren's motivation before removing her toothpick long enough to finish her coffee and place the saucer on top of it, indicating she didn't want anymore. The doctor nodded eagerly in agreement, adding "Bo also said there was also a lot of blood when they erupt. I have a theory…."

"You also have my journal. Doesn't that count as a favor?" Tamsin shot back, verbally poking the human to glean more information out of her. _Shit, how could I have forgotten about my journal?_ "Oh, well…aahhh….I am going to return that to you as soon as Trick finishes translating it for me. He's been a little busy lately, and it's going really slowly." The Valkyrie's eyes grew as big as the plate of food the waitress had just set in front of her. She silently and rudely waved the waitress away without moving her stare from the brown eyes in front of her. The server quickly complied, taking Tamsin's coffee cup with her. Lauren realized she had pushed the woman in front of her too far, and fell back to her already thought out manipulation. She knew that - number one: Tamsin liked to drink. A lot. Number two: Bo didn't like Tamsin drinking excessively. Number three: Bo controlled the purse strings. And the most important fact: Tamsin was a fiercely independent woman who valued her pride and freedom above all else. Except maybe drinking. See Point number one.

Lauren sensed she needed to explain herself quickly, and so she did, putting her hands up in front of her in a defensive manner. "Look, Tamsin, I know you are working with Bo, and she doesn't really pay you, so you don't have any money of your own. And as you know, I'm working for Evony now, and I need your help with my research, for which I am willing to pay you." The Valkyrie still sat there, staring, and motionless. "Generously." Tamsin remained inert. "In Cash."

Slowly, the gob stopped taller blonde relaxed, much to Dr Lewis's relief. She waited a moment before answering to once again remove the toothpick, rolling it between the fingers of one hand while she took a drink with the other. "What makes you think I can, or want, to help you cure Evony?" She finally asked as she leaned forward, figuring even if the direct approach wasn't always the best approach, it was her way. Her old way, that is. Tamsin was done with trusting these people; even if she didn't lash out violently in retribution for the pain in her heart, she would never allow herself to be vulnerable around them.

Gone was the giddy girlish Tamsin, so starving for affection and eager to please, so easily distracted by video games, X-Files reruns, junk food and new clothes. Dr Lewis, it seems, thought she would jump at the chance to make money without question. "Well, strictly speaking, it's not, technically, for Evony…" the doctor began as she leaned back, subconsciously, before she was interrupted again. "So, **strictly speaking** , what is your research **actually** for?" the taller blonde queried, eager to get to the gist of the matter, and enjoying Lauren's apparently uncomfortable relationship with telling the truth about her intentions. _The woman is a true predator, cunning and dangerous. I should have never underestimated her, and I certainly never will again._ Tamsin thought.

Dr. Lewis was thinking the exact same thing.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Long Overdue After a Good Run of Bad Luck

"So, **strictly speaking** , what is your research **actually** for?"

Lauren was growing increasingly uncomfortable and just a tad bit frightened by the Valkyrie's behavior. She was in such a good mood after making love to Bo that she had failed to notice the shift in Tamsin's attitude since the day before. And when she did notice, she had chalked it up to the other woman's exhaustion. Now, she wasn't so sure anymore – she knew the Valkyrie could go for very long periods of time without sleep. Given her comprehensive medical education, Dr. Lewis had quickly learned to predicate the mercurial Valkyrie's behavior to any given situation pretty accurately. And so the doctor had thought it would be easy to convince the childish Valkyrie to cooperate by dangling the promise of easy money. The taller woman was staring at her, waiting for her answer expectantly with a feral grin. As she cleared her throat to stall, another stratagem came to her. Since her rebirth, the Valkyrie was trying very hard to be a good person and would do anything to please Bo. She was so sycophantic towards Bo, in fact, that it was annoying and awkward to be around her sometimes, a fact well known to all in their circle except said Valkyrie.

"Well…ah-hum…I have been, sort of…uh…freelancing some research, to…ummm…help Bo, among other things." She admitted, rightly assuming Tamsin would have seen through any lie and name-dropping the succubus as bait. The Valkyrie leaned back again, returning her arms to their perch on top of the bench, "And just how am I supposed to help you? I'm not a scientist, or some sort of genius, as you _love_ to tell me." Tamsin replied, just a hint of hurt tingeing her words. Lauren studied the untouched food before answering. The Valkyrie hadn't jumped at the chance to help Bo as predicted, and now the doctor would have to explain herself. Something unknown to Lauren had happened to the Valkyrie that wasn't included in her behavior prediction calculus - and it was skewing the expected results. She should rule out hunger as the impetus of her unexpected behavior. "Aren't you hungry? I hate to see food go to waste."

The fae woman contemplated this strange segue with her head cocked to one side before reaching forward, sliding the plate slowly towards the human. She was, in fact, famished, but the fact that Dr Lewis dropped her urgent request to entreat her to eat bothered her."No, no Tamsin…I didn't…." Lauren just sighed and nodded, realizing she had trapped herself. Tamsin was certainly out of sorts if she wasn't even eating. She was forced to give the fae a reasonably plausible answer as to what she wanted and why or just drop the whole thing. She smiled at the thought that Tamsin should be the visual representation of chaos theory before admitting, "I treat all types of fae, and I study them to catalog their traits and DNA so that I can treat others in the future. You are the only Valkyrie I have ever encountered, and very little is known about your species." Tamsin picked up her glass and drained it before asking dryly, "And Bo, what are you researching to help her with?" The doctor looked down and smiled wryly to herself, never thinking she would miss the sweet yet childish carefree persona the Valkyrie had exhibited not so very long ago. But, however eager to please the Valkyrie still seemed when it came to helping Bo, Dr. Lewis knew to tread carefully; Tamsin had changed.

"Well, ….Bo told me how powerful the ancients are, with the…lightning bolts, and all…and how it took a long time and many…ummm…feedings to heal from it. And, as her physician, she told me you have the strongest chi she has encountered. So with the coming battle…" she left it at that. Honest enough, Dr Lewis thought. A bus boy walked by with a grey dish bin, and Tamsin carelessly dumped her empty glass and toothpick into it without looking away from her companion. _You aren't getting any DNA from me today._ "Sooooo…let me get this straight: you want me to help you screw over Evony, and you are going to pay me with the money Evony gives you to help her. Did I get that right? It's been pointed out to me that I've been a little… naïve, since my rebirth." she said, scrunching her nose and smirking. The Valkyrie's voice was dripping with sarcasm, but not anger and that fact encouraged the doctor to go on.

Lauren laughed a little, but agreed "Well yes, but I wouldn't put it that way." Tamsin didn't laugh, though, countering pointedly "I'm sure Evony would put it exactly that way." _Doctor Goody-two shoes is asking me to join her in her fraud against Evony. And she sees nothing inherently wrong that. Good to know._ They were silent as the waitress re-appeared, taking advantage of the lull in conversation to ask if they wanted anything else. The Valkyrie shook her head, and when she was handed the check, she pressed it back into the woman's hand with the 20 dollar bill. The server hurried off to ring up the meal and bring back the change.

"What do you want from me, Dr Lewis?" Tamsin asked, point blank. The human perked up at that, gushing, "Well, for starters, a thorough physical exam, blood and hair samples, x-rays, full body MRI scan, EEG, and I do want to see a demonstration of your wings, of course. We can get started right now at the clinic, if you like, and of course we'll discuss payment then." When she realized she had forgotten the Valkyrie's present condition, she coughed, embarrassed for her companion, and added, "…or…you can come by after you've rested a bit and…freshened up. Tomorrow, maybe?" She stopped there as the waitress returned with Tamsin's change. The Valkyrie asked for the coins back and told the woman to keep the rest.

Before Tamsin could give her an answer, Lauren's phone rang demanding her attention. _For the love of everything holy, please let that not be Bo!_ the Valkyrie silently begged the fates. Her luck, it seemed, was in as she gleaned from Lauren's side of the conversation. "Dr. Lewis…no…she's probably sleeping….yes, she is….what?!...oh, for crying out loud….right now?!...I can't….OK….OK….I'll tell her….bye Trick." The human sighed and looked at the fae regarding her with one eyebrow cocked, expecting an explanation.

"Trick has a small emergency on his hands, and needs our help. It seems Mark and Vex were at the Dal playing beer pong and getting drunk all night. When Trick discovered them this morning and tried to take Mark home, Vex convinced the boy to go to the track with him instead…." She paused, unexpectedly interrupted by Tamsin's hearty belly laugh, accompanied by table slapping to emphasize how amusing and ridiculously absurd the blonde found the situation in the midst of her own depression. Once the Valkyrie's exuberant expression of mirth was reduced to muffled snickering, the doctor chided her with genuine concern, "Tamsin, this could be serious! Dyson called Trick and said he would be headed to the Dal soon to pick up his son, and who knows what he'll do if he finds out Vex has included him in his criminal enterprises."

Tamsin sniffed, and agreed, "No, you're right Doc. You're right." They both knew of the Mesmer's hobby of occasionally 'influencing' the outcome of horse races for cash after he lost his club. What was only known to the Valkyrie, however, was that fixing races at the track was also one Vex's favorite method of impressing potential sexual partners while he was still the owner of the _Carpe Noctem_. The former detective had rousted him many times while she was still on the dark fae police force. She always found him along the rail at the homestretch, one hand out to mesmer the jockey, the other exploring the backstretch of the unwitting 'date' whom he had allowed to choose the winner. The dark fae elders didn't like any other fae throwing the odds and upsetting their bookmaking. The former Morrigan always did have a soft spot for Vex, however, and would send Tamsin out like a dog to bark threats at him and chase him away before the fae bookies took notice of his activities. Tamsin smiled wistfully, grateful for an honest to goodness laugh and the memory of less painful, if not happier times. Her own problems and decisions could wait. She had a purpose, once again.

"Let's go fetch the pup." She said to the doctor, standing up. _And teach Vex how to make some real cash. My life is nothing but one long run of bad luck; it's time to use some skill to put the odds in my favor._

The drive to the track outside of town was mostly silent. Lauren asked if Tamsin for an answer to her offer, and was told she was thinking about it. Neither spoke again during the drive, both quietly observing as the signs of storm damage grew fewer and far between as the miles flew by. Even though the good doctor had seemed chipper and fresh as a daisy when she entered the diner, it was now clear that she was nearly as tired as the Valkyrie. Once they had parked, Tamsin jumped out of the car and told Lauren, "Wait here. As soon as you get Mark in the car, take him back. I'll take care of Vex. See ya tomorrow." The human began to protest and demand an explanation, but the door was slammed and the fae woman had disappeared into the stream of people making their way through the gates. She didn't want Lauren to see what Vex might be doing, or what she might have to do to get Mark to leave. She also didn't want Lauren to know of her other plans. A secretive nature was the one thing the two shared, besides blonde hair.

"Well, well, well, seems like old times. I wonder what Dyson would have to say about this…" Tamsin crooned smugly, arms crossed as she sauntered up to the two men just as they reached the queues at the betting windows. "Ah, fuck me!" Vex spat out with venom in his voice, his morning fun now ruined. The Valkyrie scrunched her nose and shot back, "No thanks, I know where you've been." The Mesmer was livid, "You aren't even a cop anymore - **piss off**!" She hadn't expected him to react so violently at her finding him there. In the past, he would just laugh, and offer her a bribe or hurl lurid insults at her before slinking off to his club, would be lover in tow. It was always very routine, but not today. "You seem surprised to see me." the Valkyrie observed.

"I am. I thought the succu-bitch kept you on a much shorter leash!" The Mesmer was going straight for the jugular with his verbal jabs. He was drunk and in a foul mood. It did nothing to improve Tamsin's. "Don't shit where you sleep, Vex." she hissed, the insinuation further enraging the Mesmer. "Oh, thanks for the good advice. Why don't you follow it yourself, love? Because your place must be a right sewer with the amount of people who've been shitting where you sleep!" Tamsin's eyes went wild at the euphemism; it had hit closer to home than Vex ever imagined it would.

The young shifter had watched the whole scene escalate, fascinated, but oblivious the history, subtext or innuendo between the two dark fae. He couldn't contain his curiosity and more, finally asking "Hey, what's going on?" Vex was the first to blink, and sighed telling the boy, "Nothing Mark, just two old friends picking at fresh wounds." His rage at the blonde dissipated as soon as he saw something in her eyes he never had before. She didn't seem angry at his barbs, only hurt and ashamed. "Look, I think you should just go home. Me and tall, blonde and moody have some issues to work out."

Mark laughed, replying "No way! I don't care what Dyson thinks! I wanna have fun, and make some money!" he rubbed his hands together enthusiastically. Vex began to try to convince the boy it was best to leave, but Tamsin was already out of patience with the teenage rebellion attitude and persuaded the shifter to leave her way. As her eyes darkened slightly she said to him "You sure you want to stay here? Do you really want to be the reason daddy dearest beats your buddy to a bloody pulp? Lauren is parked at the south entrance, Row 11, she can take you home." Vex slapped one hand on his own forehead, as she was 'convincing' Mark, shaking his head and voicing his objections to her using her powers of doubt on the boy. "Tamsin, no…no…oh…for fuck's sake woman!"

Mark blurted out quickly, "I gotta go home." and ran off to find Lauren as the Valkyrie's face turn back to normal. The Mesmer shouted at Tamsin, getting her to turn around and face him, "You didn't have to **do** that!" the hand on his forehead now extended open-palmed in the direction the shifter had run off. His expression wasn't angry; it was full of concern and hurt. The blonde regarded him carefully for a moment, before the realization hit her. _He isn't looking for a conquest; he's in_ _ **love**_ _with the boy! Poor bastard._

"Sorry, Vex. It was, after all, for your own safety." Vex scoffed angrily at this so she added, "He'll be alright; it didn't take much to sway him. And his hangover is going to take waaaayyyy longer to get over than any lingering doubt." She finished with a smirk. The Mesmer seemed satisfied with her answer and went on with his plans for the morning, pulling a racing form out of his back pocket. "All rght, all right, you're job is done and mine has just begun. You're not going to stop a bloke from earning his daily bread now that you're no longer a cop and have taking up babysitting, are you?"

"Hell no! In fact, I'm going to help you out, for a cut, of course." Tamsin gleefully informed him. Vex was taken aback by this sudden change in behavior and queried "How?" The blonde informed him that she knew he never bet the long shots, because he could only control one jockey at a time. She explained that she could throw enough doubt over every jockey she needed to before they even reached the starting gate to guarantee their choice won the race. Vex would have to put up the money for the first bet, and they would roll it over a few races, taking turns placing the bets, mixing in bets on a favorite before cleaning up with one final long shot and get out before anyone who sensed fae interference showed up to investigate. It should be cake with the colony in turmoil after the storm.

"You devious, brilliant bitch!" He exclaimed, lunging forward and grabbing her face with both hands before placing a hard, loud, wet smooch on her right cheek. He laughed at her look of disgust as she wiped her face, dragging the Valkyrie to get in line and place their first bet. Once the transaction was complete and they took their place near the starting gate, both of their moods grew more somber. "Soooo,…" the Valkyrie finally broke the silence leaning on her forearms over a rail, "you love him." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. And you love her."

"Yeah….but I can't have her. She says I'm just her _roommate._ "

"And I can't have him. What a pair of stupid, sorry sods we are. So now what?"

"I don't know; get drunk and wallow in self-pity?"

Tamsin, not caring if anyone would notice, pulled out the bottle of schnapps, took a drink and offered the last of it to Vex. "Peach Schnapps?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows, incredulous at the Valkyrie's choice of alcohol. In answer, she merely lifted her eyebrows and shrugged. And he did, too, before drinking it down. He tossed the empty bottle away as carelessly as both of them had thrown away their own hearts. The two supposedly unloving and unloveable dark fae stood in silence for a while until the Mesmer broke it, winning the unspoken competition for most miserable.

"Yeah, well…At least you got to shag her."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: More than Somewhat Damaged

Tamsin drove Vex back into town in her 'new to her' truck. She had called the number from the advertisement between races, and the seller had readily agreed to meet her at the track. He had asked for cash, so that he could bet on the last few races. She was giddy with their windfall and happy to gain some small measure of independence, and told him gleefully the cash was in hand. The Mesmer was equally joyful, and with his mischievous encouragement, she had doubted the seller into signing the truck over to her without payment. The clueless human would believe that she had, in fact, given him the cash for the truck, which he subsequently lost betting on horse races. However, the closer they got to the Dal, the more pensive her mood became as in her exhaustion she thought about her broken heart and her feelings of guilt over cheating a human. _Bo wouldn't approve._

"I shouldn't have done that." she said softly, more to herself than Vex.

"What, con Uncle Jesse Duke out of his piece of shit truck? He was just going to lose the money bettin' on the ponies anyways – we already chose the winners!" Vex was laughing while pointing out the obvious, but it didn't change her mood at all.

"It isn't right. I'm trying to be a better person, Vex." she explained.

"Better than whom, hmmmm? Better than 'fuck anything with a pulse' succu-slut? Eh? Or better than 'Dr Condescending Bitch' with a secret agenda? Surely not Dyson, he killed more people than the black plague! Do you think **any** of those Dal dwelling wankers loses one minute of sleep feeling guilty over all the fucked up shit they do? Hmmm?" He let the full measure of his anger and frustration out on her; she said nothing in reply. He wasn't really upset with her; she knew that, and so silently allowed him to vent. "Nnnnooooo, they just rationalize it: 'It's for the greater good,' 'I had no choice,' 'they deserved it,' "he said in a falsetto voice, mimicking Bo, "or, better yet, they don't even bother to justify their actions **at all** if it happens to be a dark fae they are fucking over!" he finished his diatribe by kicking the cracked and faded dashboard of the truck and staring at the roof.

The Valkyrie stopped the truck and put it into park before turning and sadly gazing at her passenger. He slowly came out of his musing and apologized, "Sorry, deary, didn't mean to damage your new ride. Or get all emo on you."

She gave him a small smile before informing him, "We're here."

He didn't move to leave, but instead offered the blonde some advice. "Look love, no one in this world is innocent; everyone's got blood on their hands, especially this lot." He gestured with his head towards the way station's entrance.

Tamsin thought about this assertion for a few seconds before answering, "They're good people, Vex. And I'm not a good person, _but I am trying_."

The Mesmer let out a muffled laugh at this and slowly shook his head before offering, "Oh, Hells Bells, Tamsin don't take yourself so fucking seriously! The only difference between us and them is their self-righteousness! And are you seriously going to gamble your life on their goodwill by letting Trick translate your diary? You know the Blood King doesn't give a toss about you! Or are you so far under the succu-slut's thrall that when you are rotting in Tartarus for your betrayal while she is banging Dr Feelgood, it will be a picnic because it was for _'the greater good?'_ "

Tamsin dropped her head heavily on the steering wheel, heavily, a colorful stream of expletives streaming from her lips in various foreign languages. She vividly recalled his corruption of her and his reference to her as a Vulture, right in front of Kenzi. When she lifted her head and banged both hands on the wheel she let out a final one in English, "I'm such a fucking IDIOT!"

Her passenger was giggling uncontrollably now, telling her through his laughter, "Got ya there Goldilocks, didn't I? You should have heard them making fun of your whining about being a Valkyrie: 'my job is soooo hard, meh meh meh'!"

The Valkyrie, however, was seething, paying no mind to his revelations and half-drunk self-amusement. She didn't know or care if what he said about her alleged 'family' mocking her was true or not, but the reminder that Lauren and Trick hadn't given her back her diary enraged her. She _was_ gambling her life on their goodwill, and it seemed in short supply, lately. "It's a journal!" she finally corrected both of them, turning to look at him in anger.

But he was getting out of the truck, now; still laughing long past the joke was over as drunks do when they stopped drinking just before the alcohol made them pass out and become so tired they are slap-happy. "Whatever, love. Ta!"

"Vex! A favor?" she called to stop him before he could shut the cab's door.

"Name it." he answered, suddenly serious. They had been through a lot together in just one day, and now that they found they both shared the soul-shattering pain of unrequited love - they were friends.

"Find it. And burn it."

He questioned only the second half of the request, "Don't you want it back?"

She put the truck in gear to indicate the finality of her request as she answered, "No. I already know where I've been, I just don't know where I'm going."

The Mesmer shut the door with his agreement, "Done."

It was late afternoon. Sleep was calling to the Valkyrie as she made one more stop before she inevitably made her way back to the clubhouse and everything she had been avoiding. Now flush with cash for the first time in many months, Tamsin felt like a kid in a candy store as she perused the liquor behind the counter of the convenience store while her pre-packaged hamburgers were in the microwave heating up. Once the beeping indicated they were ready, she fetched them, adding them to the other snacks she had already deposited on the counter as the acne-scarred young clerk rang up her purchases. When she asked for a handle of cheap vodka, he frowned and said, "ID, please." The blonde had nothing in her possession other than cash. She didn't even have her phone; she had lived so long without the other trappings of modern life that it never occurred to her that she would need them now.

The Valkyrie came out before she could stop it; her eyes darkened as she told the fool, "I don't think so, buddy. And make it two." He complied quickly and wordlessly. Tamsin bundled her purchases in her arms and left the store quickly, pushing the door open with her behind. She offered the confused young man a shy smile in apology to assuage her guilt at what she had just done to him. As she climbed back into her truck, she realized that Vex was right about one thing, at least. Trick, Lauren, and Dyson all seemed at peace with all the evil they had done to defend themselves or others, or sometimes to get what they wanted. And she had witnessed the succubus use her fae powers of seduction to charm people out of food, money, information, or into her bed without a hint of shame, guilt, or thought about how it might affect them. _I wonder how many happy families she's torn apart without thinking._

Not that the Valkyrie would find fault with how she used her powers. The only thing that bothered her was all the while, she scolded Tamsin for using her own powers to get what she wanted as cruel and frivolous. The inevitable would have to wait; the blonde needed time to think, a good drunk and a long sleep. She tuned the radio to find some hard core angry music. _I want to get too fucked up to care anymore._ Bo had her way of processing and, Tamsin had hers.

While Tamsin parked in a field outside of town to drink herself to sleep, Bo was done processing her oracle vision and was irritated at the Valkyrie's apparent avoidance of her. She hadn't even begun to process what had transpired between her and her roommate, or her and Lauren. Were they back together? She hoped so.

After waking up in the early afternoon, she had called Tamsin and left an anxious message telling the blonde she needed to talk to her urgently about the ancients. Her call wasn't returned, of course. She figured the blonde was angry and ignoring her, and was commiserating with Dyson. So, she called him next. He answered immediately with an irritated voice. He hadn't seen Tamsin, either, since they parted ways late the night before. She learned from him that the shifter was angry at his son for getting shit-faced drunk in the midst of all the danger, and Tamsin and Vex where somehow involved with Mark's indiscretions. But the boy was either too out of it or didn't want to explain further. When she asked Dyson what had transpired between him and the Valkyrie while she was at the clinic with Lauren, he simply stated, "You'll have to ask her that question." before hanging up.

Lauren called her before she got hold of anyone else or left the clubhouse. The doctor was exhausted from overwork and lack of sleep, yet they flirted easily. When Lauren casually mentioned her inadvertent run-in with the Valkyrie, Bo's mood shifted back to irritation. She stopped asking about Lauren's day and shifted her questions urgently to Tamsin. Her lover seemed taken aback by being interrogated about Tamsin, yet she calmly recounted bumping in to her at the diner and the subsequent rescue of Mark from possible arrest by fae police, or worse. Both women asked the other what was going on between the other and Tamsin, but neither was willing to divulge the true substance of their interactions with the Valkyrie. It was on the tip of Bo's tongue to tell her about Tamsin's confession of love. But that would ruin any chance of keeping her as a regular feed Lauren would approve of should she be able to make the Valkyrie stop her self-destructive behavior and see reason. And it was on the tip of Lauren's tongue to tell Bo that said woman promised to see her tomorrow. But then Bo might find out she was going to include Tamsin in her research – it wasn't the right time to reveal her plans. They both internally rationalized their own lies of omission and said their goodbyes, happily promising to meet the next day for lunch.

She had next stopped at the Dal to check on Trick and see if Vex was there. And Vex was there at the bar, looking like hammered shit – swaying on his stool and staring with blurry, unseeing drunk eyes at his half-drunk stale beer. Tamsin hadn't been there, her grandfather told her from behind the bar. The Mesmer laughed bitterly at that, unexpectedly, offering, "Ha! Guess you don't know everything, after all old man!"

Bo was getting increasingly frustrated at being kept in the dark about just what was going on with the Valkyrie and turned her attention to him. "And just what were you doing with Tamsin today, hmmm, Vex?"

He swung around on his chair, suddenly seeming a lot more sober than before, and answered just a hair too flippantly to suit the mood she was in, "Just having a laugh, between us two dark fae. She is my friend, after all."

She stepped closer before continuing, her eyes and body language implying the threat of bodily harm. The thought, however fleeting, that the dark fae may have somehow hurt Tamsin enraged her. "Where is she?" Vex couldn't care less about the succubus's need for answers or lack of trust in him, and it showed. His next answer was beyond flippant and blitzkrieged across the border deep into insult territory.

"How the bloody hell should I know? What, you couldn't find her under the dog-pile of lovers on your bed when you wo….oi, oi!" Vex threw is hands up defensively appealing to the barkeeper to intervene as the succubus grabbed his shirt with both hands.

"Bo! Stop it! Let him go! Vex, knock it off!" Trick demanded angrily, glaring in turns at both of them. Vex was just being Vex, he knew, but his granddaughter was overreacting to the Mesmer's habitual taunting for reasons beyond his ken. He was, however, a very observant person; he had already gleaned a plausible explanation of what was going on between his granddaughter and the Valkyrie. He had, after all, been around a long time. And he had been married to a succubus.

As Bo released her hold of the man as she stepped back and calmed herself down. A full-frontal confrontation with the Mesmer in the presence of her grandfather wasn't a good idea if she wanted to keep her personal drama personal. She regarded Vex silently as he straightened up his clothes and turned back to the bar. However, that barb hit too close to the mark to be a shot in the dark. She thought for a moment the Valkyrie had told the Mesmer about their 'talk,' but dismissed it immediately. Tamsin wasn't known for being forthcoming with her feelings, and Vex wasn't known for being a sympathetic confidant. He was, however, well known for being a smart-ass little shit. She tried a different tactic to extract information from him. "Vex, I'm sorry. She's my roommate. She hasn't come home since last night, and I'm really worried about her."

The Mesmer looked over his shoulder and spat out, "Roommate, huh. Yeah, well, you must be really special, because most people don't care fuck all about their roommates - only their friends." He stood and faced her full on before continuing in a whiny, childish falsetto, "No, you're not worried - you're having a fit because you've broken your sex toy –" his parting shot was nothing but pure vitriol, "Why don't you just buy another." With that, he took his leave to throw himself down on a couch near the back of the room to pass out.

The succubus realized then that her initial assesment was false; Vex knew, or at least suspected far too much about the nature of her relationship with Tamsin than she wanted revealed in public. As Trick looked at her with his head dipped, eyebrows raised, she mentally kicked herself for pressing the Mesmer for answers in the barkeep's presence. Her grandfather said nothing, though, as usual. The Blood King didn't need to say anything, his expression told her he now knew exactly what was going on. But he always stayed out of her love and sex life, and she was grateful for that. With a grim expression and no other words, she turned and left for the clubhouse.

Once home, Bo made another call to Tamsin's phone, and on the third ring, she heard the click indicating it was answered. Before the Valkyrie got a chance to start any drunken rage rant she might be planning, the succubus launched into a pre-emptive plea "Tamsin, before you even start – listen to me! The oracles came to visit me – the ancients know where we live!" She paused for a second, and when she heard only silence instead of the expected rant, she continued with a rant of her own, "Tamsin, damn it, stop your fucking pouting and come home! The end of the world might be here, and you're acting like a child because you can't have your way! That's so fucking selfish!"

She was so enraged she didn't notice at first that a voice on the other end was attempting to interrupt her, a voice that wasn't Tamsin's. "Who is this?" she asked suspiciously, annoyed and thinking Tamsin was passed out under some drunken hook-up who had the gall to answer her phone.

"It's Dyson." the tired, hoarse voice replied. Now the succubus was really pissed.

"Dyson! Put Tamsin on the phone!" she demanded, unknowingly angry in her hubris at the thought that the two of them had gotten over her so easily and jumped back into bed together. Tamsin wasn't the only proud one in their group.

"I told you, she hasn't been here since last night. I found her phone, dead, under some towels we used to dry off. I put it on the charger and went to bed early. I thought she was calling from your phone to try to find it. Bo, what's going on?"

The succubus sighed, and decided a half-truth was better than an all-out lie. "It's….we had a disagreement, and you know how she gets. She took off before I could explain myself and right now isn't a good time for her to run off and make herself feel better by getting drunk and avoiding her problems. We need her, Dyson."

He contemplated this a few moments before answering. The shifter was mulling over not only where Tamsin might be, but the almost certain reason for her avoidance of Bo. What was a mystery to him was why the succubus was so dead set on finding her, instead of waiting for her to come back in her own time. He decided to voice only his thoughts on how to find her. "Did you talk to Vex? I think he saw her last. Mark mentioned he was with him and Tamsin today."

The memory of her last conversation with the Mesmer made her cringe. She didn't want to talk about that, either. She confided to him with a groan, "I did talk to him and…Well, you know how he is, too. He didn't really tell me anything, just insulted me. Secret dark fae handshake rules or something, I guess. He was really drunk and ready to pass out."

Dyson laughed, "He is a little shit. But I doubt he would hurt her. I'm sure she's fine. She's a big girl, and she'll be home soon. I don't think she'll stay away very long. I'll bring her phone over in the morning. Get some sleep, Bo. We're all going to need it."

After they said their goodbyes and hung up, Bo felt better. Dyson was right. He always was. Tamsin would come back soon. And Vex didn't hurt her - she did.

Dyson, however, was not in a better mood after their conversation. The oracles had given the shifter truth for a truth; they had given him an epiphany about the succubus – she couldn't let people go. She needed people to love her, even if she didn't love them back. He thought of his own experience; how she always wanted him near – at her disposal, so to speak. And, right now it seemed like she was cloaking her selfishness and the guilt it caused her with concern for the Valkyrie and for the coming confrontation with the ancients. But Tamsin was so very proud, and had fallen in love, and most likely gotten her heart broken, for the very first time. She might not be willing or able to stay near Bo. He didn't dwell very long on the possible future consequences the succubus' possessive behavior might bring to fruition. He was too tired and they were dark and troubling thoughts.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Move Me onto Any Black Square

The early morning dawn sunlight streaming through the truck windows woke Tamsin. She had passed out early the night before of exhaustion rather than intoxication and didn't get much thinking, or drinking done. _More for me tonight then,_ she thought. It had a long time since she had woken up in the cab of her own truck, and the familiarity was cold comfort to her. She sat up, stretching her aching muscles and yawning, and realized her number one priority was not her growling stomach, but the eau de two day funk that emanated from her unwashed body. "Eehhheewww, forgot the main drawback of living in your truck." she said aloud, laughing to herself. She started the vehicle and headed back to the clubhouse. All of her scant belongings were there, and she didn't have anywhere else to go.

Once she turned onto the clubhouse's block, she saw the familiar yellow Camaro parked outside. All of the simple joys of having regained her independence once again vanished only to be replaced with suffocating dread and sorrow. As tears once again threatened, she whipped the protesting truck into an illegal U-turn and laid rubber half-way down the block. She wasn't ready to face Bo just yet, not like this. The Valkyrie rightly assumed her roommate would be angry at her storming off without coming back the next day. _I doubt she ever truly forgave me for all the wrongs I have done in the past; she doesn't even believe I can feel love. She thinks I'm the unfeeling monster she once believed herself to be. I can't listen to her accusations of the horrible things she imagines I've been doing, not now. Not like this._

A radio commercial gaurenteed a comfortable room at a modest price, so she lit out towards the highway and Motel 6. They promised to leave the light on for her, and the quaint music of the commercial made it feel like it could be a home, at least for now. Along the way, she picked up some toiletries and a set of cheap clothes at a dollar store. _Not my preferred style, but any port in a storm._ While checking into the motel, the ID situation presented itself again. This time she doubted her way without a second thought right into a ground floor room. The clerk, not very competent at her job to begin with, merely shook her head and tapped at her keyboard. She then smiled, handing Tamsin an envelope with two key cards. Tamsin smirked in return and headed for her much delayed shower.

* * *

Once Tamsin had taken a long, hot shower and changed, she tossed her old clothes in the dumpster in the parking lot. She didn't ever want to look down at what she was wearing and be reminded of the past two days. She jumped into the battered truck and headed back to the crack shack. As she drove up, she not only saw the Camaro, but Dyson's car as well. _Not happening, I can barely deal with one of them let alone both of them. I'm sure Bo has told him everything, and I don't want to see Dyson's 'I told you so' face and break down in front of him, too._

Instead, Tamsin steered the truck around the block and in the direction of a nearby place she knew the Bo wouldn't go to, a coffee shop the succubus was banned from after the fae owner had caught on to her daily habit of succu-charming free lattes off of unwitting baristas. Bo was humiliated by her grandfather's chiding after the owner took his complaints to the Ash; she wasn't known for her love of fae world rules. After getting a large, plain black coffee and some bagels, she sat down at a table facing the front window, not really enjoying the ambiance of the place or the flirtatious stares from the nevus hipster clientele. Their arrogance at thinking they were unique because they buck popular fashion trends was laughable to her. She had seen too much in all of her lives, and was both jaded and cynical far beyond any measure of the words. _Beau Brummell could have taught them a thing or two about setting the trend, yet still having style._ She thought.

The wooden tables all had checker-boards ingrained in the tops of them, and there were shelves with game pieces and books free to read or take at will. It was so bohemian chic that internally, the Valkyrie wanted to vomit. Still, it was close to the clubhouse, and she could observe Dyson leaving or the Camaro making its way to the Dal or, more likely - Lauren's. While she was eating, she rudely dismissed two unkempt beardy young hipster men's awkward attempts to engage her in conversation. She grabbed a book off the shelf and opened it to the middle, pretending to read it to fend off further disruption of her solitude. She was looking over the book, out the front window deep in thought when she was, once again, interrupted.

"Wanna play?" A woman, this time, coal-black mannish haircut so short it was barely visible under the blue bandana that was tied around the top of her head. Her beefy frame was clad in biker garb, complete with leather vest and wallet on a chain. As she slowly took the seat across from Tamsin her eyes never left the blonde. It was those eyes that stopped the Valkyrie from ignoring or summarily dismissing her with a snarky one-liner. The woman's eyes were so black she couldn't discern any pupils in them and intently stared into her own green ones. _She is dangerous. And she is up to no good._ It wouldn't have surprised Tamsin if she had rolled up on a full dresser Harley with a pack of fae outlaw bikers intent on starting a fight.

"That is the lamest pick-up line I have ever heard in any pretentious coffee shop." Tamsin finally came to herself, and the snarky reply came with it.

The woman laughed with gusto that seemed incongruous with her intense staring earlier. "No, that's not what I meant! You just seem so sad and lonely, and I thought a game of chess might cheer you up. Unless you want me to take you home." She grinned with her seductive suggestion.

Tamsin did not, and said so with a nose scrunch and air of finality, "You're not my type."

The Valkyrie went back to her pretense of reading as the woman countered "You don't know that. I could be the Hermine to your Harry."

The Valkyrie was growing impatient, and now felt insulted. "I'm not a kid, and I'm not into some kinky Harry Potter role-play!" Lauren's barb about her love for children's cereal suddenly came to mind. The doctor deserved the right to joke with her – this woman did not.

Another belly laugh, "And yet you know their names." An angry glare was given in reply, promising no other response. She didn't go away.

Tamsin tried again to dismiss her, "Do you mind? I'm trying to read. It's just getting to the good part." Thinking the conversation over, Tamsin pretended to turn her attention back to her book.

The woman's mood remained jovial as she continued to needle the Valkyrie. "You're not even reading that book! If you were, you'd know the main character is Harry, and Hermine is the woman who helps him out of his life-long depression!" She was smirking in self-satisfaction. It was a mannerism that irked the Valkyrie because it reminded her too much of herself – aside from the fact that her accusations were so very true.

Tamsin looked at the cover of the book, expecting to see the face of the boy wizard. She didn't; the book was Steppenwolf. _Isn't that a band? Busted._ "Shit!" she cursed as she slammed the book on the table, earning more laughter from her companion. "Alright, you have my attention; what do you want?"

The woman smiled knowingly, "Just a quick game. For the fun of it!"

Tamsin tried honesty and sincerity as a last resort to get the woman to leave, "Look, I'm a shitty chess player, not even that great at checkers. I played at love, and I lost, so - I'm done with games and I just want to be left alone in my misery. I'm not very good company right now."

The bandana woman laughed hardest at this "Love isn't a game or an object to be won – it's a verb! You battle-bunnies are sooo stupid sometimes!"

Tamsin's eyes grew wide at the epitaph used only by outer realm dwellers; she should have paid more attention. This woman knew what she was and it took the blonde this long to realize what she was dealing with. "A Raven." She whispered.

"A Valkyrie." She answered. Ravens worked for Odin, mostly, but Freya would use them occasionally. They were spies, messengers, observers, informants, and carriers of souls. But they didn't carry anyone to Valhalla; they delved farther in the darker afterlife realms than Valkyries normally did. Sometimes they worked for the Norns, or freelanced, or just caused mischief for the sheer fun of it. Their cleverness made them dangerous and their playfulness no matter how lethal their assignment made their intentions hard to discern.

"Why are you here?" Tamsin asked upfront with genuine concern, knowing full well she probably wouldn't get a straight answer.

"Well, since I'm singular, I guess I'm here for sorrow. And judging by your face, it can't be denied." the dark-haired woman answered with mock thoughtfulness.

This time the Valkyrie played along "I thought that nursery rhyme was for counting crows. And I don't mean the band."

The Raven answered, "Well, actually, its magpies, but we're all cousins - so close enough. And we both know the rhyme is horseshit and the number of us does not speak to our intentions." Her voice grew serious with the last statement, riling the blonde.

She tried again, "What do you want?" Her voice was now betraying her frustration and worry. Her companion refused to acknowledge it.

The laughter re-appeared, "I told you a game! I'll teach you a new one. The one you should have been playing all along."

Tamsin smirked in response, asking "And what game is that?"

The Raven smiled knowingly, "Life."

"Don't tell me you want to play that stupid board game where you get married and have a bunch of kids in your plastic car and the first one who makes it to the end wins?" Tamsin groaned, trying to appease the intriguing, yet dangerous fellow traveler of the outer realms.

"Hell no. I mean life - living free in the world and enjoying every precious minute of it."

"Life isn't a game. It's serious."

"No, Love isn't a game." The Valkyrie gave her a frown that spoke to how full of shit she thought her companion to be. The other woman recognized her disbelief, and went on, "Let me explain. You see, you think you lost your chance at love and happiness because you thought you were playing at love against other people. But they were playing at life, and since you were unaware of the real game, you became a pawn they could maneuver around the board to suit their own purposes. You don't play at love; you just love - get it?"

The Valkyrie suddenly thought of her taunting of Lauren, telling the doctor how her and Bo getting closer while they were looking for Cassie. Lauren's quips about mixing metaphors and her lack of concern over another player entering the game for Bo's heart suddenly made perfect sense. Lauren wasn't playing at love. "A pawn can win a game." Tamsin whispered defensively, more to herself than the insightful Raven.

"No, a player wins. The pawn is just the instrument."

"For the player to win love and happiness?" the blonde asked, hopefully.

Again the Raven laughed, "You really are hopeless, and such a slow learner! No! Love is a verb, and happiness is a skill, a talent. The talent to move your pieces around in the game of life. Unless you're clinically depressed. Love and happiness aren't inextricably linked. You really should try listening to humans more often; they have a much steeper learning curve with their short lives."

"So, winning the heart of the person you love doesn't bring you happiness?" Tamsin mused over this for a second. She could think of no other way to be happy other than in the arms of Bo. "That's bullshit!"

"No, not bullshit, lots of people are with the person they love the most, yet they are incredibly miserable. And lots of people who aren't with the one they truly love are quite happy, and revel in the simple joys of life!"

Knowing what the woman said was true, but only now realizing it, Tamsin spat out a smarmy insult to mask her frustration, "So, let me guess - your assignment is to go around spouting existential bullshit to anyone who will listen?"

"No, it's more of a hobby." The burly woman sat back and regarded the Valkyrie carefully before continuing, "I like to enjoy myself while I'm not in the outer realms. But it's all in the book you should have been reading instead of pretending to. I thought you might find it a more interesting philosophy than the Confucius – like 'finding joy in your duty' crap you Valkyries seem to espouse. It's soooo boring, and detrimental to the fragile psyche of a rare battle-bunny that actually discovers that she is capable of love."

"OK, Dr. Frued, why do people bother falling in love if it makes them miserable?" Tamsin challenged.

"You tell me, blondie. And I prefer Jung." The Raven countered.

"Alright, how do I play this game, and win?" the Valkyrie gave up, crossing her arms impatiently.

The woman placed her hands, palms down on the checkerboard table, "You have to use all the pieces, not just light and dark; life isn't like checkers, is more like chess. The Blood King has fucked with your head."

"I don't get it." To Tamsin, there was only light and dark. And Tamsin knew she was dark, evil.

"OK, here it is in a nutshell: you think you have two personas – noble and beastly. The good, noble person in you sees yourself as a beastly, evil person, because you did evil things, and sometimes enjoyed them. Yet when you try to do good, you feel taken advantage of or weak, and the evil persona chides you for being vulnerable. So you can't feel happy with yourself, no matter what you do. When people mock you for doing good or bad, it enrages you because your pride is what you value most; it's the only thing both sides agree with. To save your vanity, you distance yourself from others and don't enjoy the simple pleasures of life or care about anyone. In your fear of being made a fool of, you mock others who find joy in those things. Now that you do feel love, your divided nature drives your lover further away as well as other people close to you because you suppress the other pieces of you that would make you happier, and in the end – more likeable."

"And what are the other pieces?"

"The other pieces of your personality - jealousy, loyalty, kindness, thoughtfulness, pity, empathy, silliness, joy, selfishness, fun – you decide what they are, how to use them, and when to move them around. And love, of course."

"Annnnd how will I do that?"

The Raven smiled warmly at the question; as if she was about tell her companion what she had been leading up to the whole time. She leaned across the table, indexed finger tapping the chessboard, informing her pupil, "When you learn what to take seriously in life, laugh at everything else – including yourself." She leaned back again, before adding," I'm paraphrasing, of course, but it's all in the book."

The Valkyrie came to believe that the Raven was just fucking with her for fun now at this coincidence, and stated as much in a sarcastic tone, "Sooooo, this book I happened to pick up at _random_ just happens to be about **me."**

The Raven was laughing again, gesturing with her arms wide, "Of course not, it's about everyone-life! And who wouldn't expect an existential novel in a place like this? Don't take yourself so seriously!" Tamsin's eyes grew a bit wider at that exclamation; it was the second time in as many days that someone had told her not to take herself seriously. The Raven seemed to have noticed her concern, and added, "Although I could have used Harry Potter to psychoanalyze you, believe that! I'm just that good. But think about it. Your love might see you in a better light, if you stop trying too hard to please others and use all your personality in ways that please you and make you a happier person. You can give more freely, but not to the point of being taken advantage of, and be happy about it. Misery loves company because nobody else wants to be around them."

"And yet here you are, forcing your company on a miserable person. _How is that?"_ Tamsin finished her coffee, still feeling uneasy about the Raven being here. She doubted the creature of carrion was really on earth flitting about offering random advice to strangers on a whim. She was positive now that she was being played with, but for what reason? She tilted her head to the side, eyebrows raised, indicating she was finished with the conversation until her questions about the Raven's true intentions were answered.

Suddenly, said woman jumped up, announcing, "Well, it's been fun – but I have an appointment to keep." She began walking to the door, but turned adding, "Oh, just one more thing –"her inner eyelids showed as she blinked quickly, "don't go to the party. You won't be of any help to her there, and in the end, she won't listen to you, Tamsin. She **will** open her birthday present." In the blink of an eye she was out the door hurrying past the front window.

Tamsin's blood ran cold. _I never told her my name. I don't know what party she is talking about but I do know of an unopened birthday present._ She ran out of the shop after the Raven, and caught a glimpse of her turning down an alley. By the time she turned the corner, the alley was empty save for the remnants of a black smoke cloud dissipating in the morning sky. _Shit!_

This was definitely something Tamsin knew to take seriously. The Raven was sent to deliver a message - that much she was sure of, but from whom? Was it a threat? Or, was it a warning? And if so, was it benevolent, or malicious in intent? How did the raven know so much about her – the way she was feeling? Ravens don't always let their presence be known; they often watch silently from the shadows, gathering information. Was she being watched all this time? If so, who else was the Raven watching? Or was it really just a clever carnival trick to lower Tamsin's guard. _Fucking Ravens and their fucking games!_ There was also one more thing Ravens were known for – being a harbinger of death.

In light of the impromptu meeting, Tamsin decided Bo would have to wait; she needed to see Lauren first. If a creature of the afterworlds knew so much about her, it could be fatal to the doctor if they became aware of her intensions to study the Valkyrie. She had to end this 'research' immediately, and decisively.

 _Damn it, Lauren! I'm going have to save you from youself!_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Thoughtless Scheming and Other Misunderstandings

The Raven had driven all thoughts of Bo and heartache right out of her head. The powers that rule the after realms almost certainly knew more about Tamsin's activities than she had ever imagined. She didn't even want to entertain theories about what they might have planned for her if they found out Lauren was trying to include her in her 'research.' _She is going to get both of us killed, or worse! I need to shut this down right_ _ **now!**_ As she pulled up and parked outside the clinic, she suddenly remembered her debt to Lauren. _I'll take care of that, too._ she thought.

The doctor wasn't in the waiting area, but the receptionist was. The red-head was on the phone, apparently with an employment agency as she was asking them to send over applicants for ill-fated Sam's job. She rudely held up a finger to silence the Valkyrie before she even made it up to the counter and could attempt to interrupt. _Working here is certainly more dangerous than combat!_ Tamsin laughed to herself. While the rude red-head was distracted on the phone, she reached over and grabbed an envelope from the desk, suddenly thinking of a wicked way to occupy her time. She placed a hundred dollar bill in the envelope, and looked around the waiting area for an accomplice.

Spying one of the many young children of an obvious cabbit woman sitting away from her siblings while mom was busy the rest of her litter, she approached the girl. Holding up a five, Tamsin pantomimed licking the envelope and held it out to the child. The young cabbit eagerly complied, before snatching the bill from the Valkyries hand with the speed of a rattlesnake. _Atta girl!_ She smiled at the kid, who grinned conspiratorially back at her as she shoved the fiver into her front pocket. It wouldn't fool Dr. Lewis, of course, but damn! - it was fun to poke at her. Tamsin sealed the envelope of cash, and went back to the desk when rude red asked if she could help her, with a bored voice that betrayed her annoyance at having to do so. As Tamsin walked up to the desk, the woman tried to hand her a clipboard of insurance forms to fill out, which she refused. She informing the clerk she wasn't in need of medical attention, but before she could state her reasons for being there, the receptionist interrupted her.

"Then, I assume you're from the employment agency?" red jumped to conclusions, noticing the envelope in Tamsin's hand she assumed to be references.

 _You **just** fucking called them, idiot. But sure, why not? _ The Valkyrie placed one arm on the counter and leaned toward the dim-witted secretary. "Um, yeah, I just got a few questions about working here; can I carry my pistol because I hear it's pretty dangerous here? It seems like the body count for the employees is higher than the patients!"

The receptionist's face grew two shades redder than her hair, "This is a gun-free zone. Also, it's illegal to carry a hand gun." She deadpanned.

Tamsin acted disappointed. "Well, do you at least offer hazardous duty pay?" she asked in a hopeful tone.

Dim-witted red was actually professional in reply, reciting a script from rote memory "We offer a competitive salary, based on the cost of living in the area and a very…."

She was interrupted by her boss "Tamsin! Please stop harassing my employees!"

 _Just when I was starting to enjoy myself! Oh well, why stop now?_ " _Your_ employees?! Don't you mean _Evony's_ employees?" Tamsin turned to Lauren and pointedly asked in an exaggerated drawl, purposefully calling the doctor out in front of the clue-less woman at the desk.

Lauren refused to be baited, and with both hands in the pockets of her lab coat gestured with her head towards the hallway to her private lab. "My office." She said with the air of a principal addressing a naughty school girl.

Tamsin played her role, and offered a parting shot to red, "Oh well, it was nice talking to you. Hope you're not next!" she said, scrunching her face and stuffing the envelope into her jacket before complying with Dr. Lewis's command.

Once they reached Lauren's private lab, the doctor whirled around to face the Valkyrie in anger, "Tamsin, if we are going to work together, I can't have you antagonizing my employees and undermining my authority!"

The fae woman laughed at this, "Wait a minute, first of all, I never agreed to work with you, and second – I didn't say anything that wasn't true." Tamsin was already coming down from her joyful mood, given they were in the room where she had seen Bo and the doctor having sex.

Dr. Lewis dialed back her approach, "Look, it isn't right for you to spread unnecessary fear among the people here."

The Valkyrie scoffed at this with a huff, and shot back "So, it's better if you let them blindly walk into a dangerous situation without informed consent?" They stared at each other until the impasse was broken by the human's phone ringing.

"I have to take this." She said as she walked to an office for privacy.

Tamsin took the opportunity to snoop around in the lab. She had already seen specimen jars she recognized from Massimo's place on shelves there, and a glass-front refrigerator she found vials with various fae species DNA labeled Taft Research, Inc. _Naughty, naughty, human. I know what you're up to, and I want no part of it._ Dr. Lewis returned, finishing her call and shooing Tamsin away from the fridge.

The doctor sighed, looking at the ceiling before gazing the taller blonde and asking, "Can you take a rain check? Bo's coming over to have lunch with me in about half an hour."

 _Shit! Well, let's see if Lauren is a poker player – I bet she doesn't want Bo to know and I bet she won't call my bluff that I don't want to see her right now, either._ "No, let's do this now. Bo will wait; I'm sure she won't mind. And I bet she's terrrrribly interested in your research." The Valkyrie drawled rolling her eyes.

The doctor's reaction was manna from heaven to Tamsin's shattered soul. "Uhhh,….well….Bo and I….we really don't…discuss my research in detail…" _Gotcha bitch!_ The Valkyrie raised an eyebrow in response, questioning how said research was imperative to help Bo, who remained blissfully and apparently willfully, ignorant of it.

Lauren started babbling scientific stuff now, as she was wont to do when exited or nervous, "Studies have proven that couples who spend too much time working together, or –"

Tamsin interrupted, "So you two are a couple again?"

The doctor realized her mistake, and covered quickly, "No, not at all, it's-"

Another interruption, "But you **are** fucking her again."

This time, Lauren didn't even try to explain or deny. The Valkyrie's accusation was the piece of the equation for predicting Tamsin's behavior that Lauren had been lacking the day before. "Tamisn, there is no need for vulgarity. We can discuss this at – "

Again, the Valkyrie cut her off. She wasn't going to be lectured or manipulated anymore. Not by anyone, not Lauren, nor Dyson, nor even Bo. She held up her hand to stop it. "It's OK Dr. Lewis. She fucks **a lot** of people. I just came by to settle my debt." She smirked with a nose scrunch, to impress upon Lauren that she didn't give a flying fuck about whom Bo chose to sleep with. _._

"OK, well then, after lunch we can…" Dr. Lewis began, a bit relieved. The Valkyrie had, after all, been known to regard sex as only a casual release – nothing more. The doctor began to think she might have been mistaken in considering the theory that Valkyrie was possibly in love with Bo, rather than regarding the succubus as a prize to be won in a completion just to irk the other players. Tamsin's clingy, obsessive behavior of late towards the brunette had seemed so out of character, she wasn't sure what the blonde fae's true intentions were. It was a thought that she had expressed to the Valkyrie, after Bo went to Valhalla.

But, once again, Tamsin cut right to the chase, "No! First I want to know exactly what you are trying to do, and why. And then, maybe, I'll help you. You won't even have to pay me. Informed Consent. I deserve that, at the very least." She needed to know so that she could think of a plausible reason to get her to drop trying to study the Valkyrie, since she was blood-bound not to reveal exactly why she couldn't help. Discussing the Raven and her revelations was out of the question, as was revealing the true nature of the after realms.

But, Lauren was starting to get angry, "Look, my research is very sensitive in nature; I could be putting people's lives at risk by-"

"You already are." Tamsin crossed her arms, and raised her eyebrows. It was a irrefutable fact that there was, in fact, already a body count at the clinic as well as a close call or two.

Stunned by the accusation she couldn't deny, Lauren once again appealed to the Valkyrie's sense of pride and her gain some financial independance, "Listen Tamsin, I'm giving you a chance to pay your debt and make some extra money honestly by working for the benefit of others."

Tamsin stepped closer, her demeanor intense, but not angry, "No, you listen to me – you are already in danger by double-crossing Evony, again! Not even to mention the fae elders and all the loonies out there trying to get your serum…." She trailed off trying to think of a way she could impress upon her that she was endangering her very soul, both of their souls, should she meddle with powers that granted passage to the after realms.

"I'm not afraid Tamsin. I can take care of myself." Lauren's re-assurances brought her back to the conversation.

"Lauren, please listen to me; just drop it. Remember the hel shoes, and what happened to people who tried to use them?"

"Bo used them, she went to Valhalla and came back." The doctor countered.

"Yes, but Bo is…different. And at what cost? You have no idea what it's like; you've never even been there." Tamsin didn't know if Bo had confided in anyone else other than herself that the succubus was the daughter of Hades, and didn't divulge to the human. It wasn't her place, and probably would seem like an act of retaliation by Bo, all things considered.

Lauren laughed at this and said smugly, hands shoved back into the pockets of her lab coat "And _you_ have no idea how much I already know; I _have_ been to Valhalla."

"Bullshit!" Tamsin denied.

"No, I assure you, I have. It was easy to figure out that chanting the prayer in your journal for revealing the gates and holding a lock of your hair Massimo had in his lair -"

Now the Valkyrie was _extrememly_ concerned. _A whole lot of shit is starting to make sense now._ She closed her eyes and pressed the fingers of both hands to her temples as if the revelation caused her physical pain before she interrupted Dr. Lewis. "WAIT! You used **my** journal and **my** hair to enter Valhalla?"

"Tamsin, nothing happened! Stop being so melodramatic and listen to reason!" Lauren was getting angry now, thinking the Valkyrie was once again balking at the thought of making a small sacrifice for the greater good of their family.

Tamsin looked away and took a few deep breaths to stop her anger from controlling her speech. The situation was devolving into a real shit show. She turned back to the doctor intent on making one last ditch effort to stop it using rational arguments, but failed to control her penchant for vulgarity, "I know what you're up to, and I don't give two shits if you turn yourself fae, or turn Bo human, if that's what she wants – which I highly fucking doubt! Your fucking arrogance is going –"

Lauren was in a full blown rage now, "You know _**nothing**_ about my research! What, do you think I want to make myself like _**you**_ to be with Bo? Hmmmm? Talk about ARROGANCE! You won't even help to save us all from the ancients and Bo's father! I am asking you to do a simple thing to **help** me **help** others in need! I _**save**_ lives; that's my job, Tamsin – I know that might be hard for **murderer** who _**killed**_ people for a living to understand!"

The Valkrie hung her head, shaking it from side to side while she breathed out a chuckle through nose. She closed her eyes for a moment and thought, _That hurt. Touché, Dr. Lewis, touché. So that's how my family sees me; that's how they will always see me. Bo's been pushing me further and further away every day, and now I know why. Surely Bo still hasn't told Lauren about rejecting me, or she wouldn't have said **that**. _ Her expression a mirthless, open-mouthed grin as she faced the doctor again, nodding now. She needed to remain in control and focus on her mission. Just the fact that Lauren was even _wanted_ to study Valkyrie could be disastrous, for all of them, let alone what she might do with any knowledge she discovered. But before she could speak, Lauren was apologizing, her fingers laced together in front of her.

"Tamsin, I'm sorry, I didn't mean –"

" **No!** Don't apologize. You _meant_ it. And it _is_ true." Her tone was calm and emotionless, but Lauren knew that was a sign the Valkyrie was dangerously close to rage, a rage she might not be able to control. She decided to calm her down with something that would bring her out of her mood, as it had always done in the past. Just the mere mention of Bo could bring joy to the Valkyrie.

Lauren sighed, "Look, Bo will be here soon, we can discuss it together, if that will make reconsider. It's important. She's been worried about you since you took off with Vex and didn't come home. Why don't you join us for lunch?" she smiled the smug half-smile Bo adored so much.

Tamsin was angry now, but kept control of all of her faculties except her runaway mouth "That's sooooo fucking kind of you." She smirked sarcastically before giving her answer, pointing at her with an index finger. "Fuck your research, fuck your condescending attitude, and fuck you, Dr. Lewis. I'm not a whore who sells her soul for sale for pocket change, no matter what you think."

She handed Lauren the envelope she retrieved from her jacket with angry grimace. The doctor took it slowly, and noting it was sealed, offered her a smirk in return. _Hope she enjoys her uncontaminated DNA sample._ Tamsin thought, feeling an overwhelming feeling of self-satisfaction as well as a healthy dose of schadenfruede before turning and leaving calling in mock cheerfulness over her shoulder, "We're even now. See ya later, Doc! Enjoy your lunch, and tell Bo I said 'hi'!"

The Valkyrie left quickly, getting back in her truck and heading for the clubhouse. _Bo is going to have lunch with Lauren. Perfect._ Tamsin didn't know if Lauren would tell her girlfriend about their recent encounter, but she was sure if the doctor did mention anything, it would spool up the succubus. _Throwing stars, syringes, and hubris won't save your eternal soul from the torments that await you in the bowels of Tartarus._ Yet, if Lauren did tell Bo of Tamsin's refusal to cooperate with her research, the Valkyrie wasn't sure she would turn down the succubus if she asked her to reconsider, consequences be damned.

The Camaro wasn't parked outside by the time she reached the clubhouse. Tamsin was sure now what she was had to do, leave and leave immediately. She quickly began to gather her belongings into her truck before the succubus returned. The thought of Bo following her around trying to convince her to stay while callously calling her 'roommate' would reduce her to sobs, and she knew it. She was trying desperately to hang on to what little pride she had salvaged. The Raven had told her it was the one thing at the core of her being, and she knew that, if nothing else was true.

Once she entered the shack, she saw her cell phone on the kitchen counter. After shoving it absent-mindedly in her back pocket, she went straight to Bo's room and gathered her belongings that she had left in there. Next, the bathroom, which she ransacked, making sure to take all her toiletries and dirty clothes and stuffed them carelessly into her duffel bag. Once the bag couldn't possibly hold anymore, she took it out to the truck. On the way out, she thought again of the box of her belongings Kenzi had given back to her the night the goth left for good. She had never even opened it, so wrapped up in being with Bo and wanting no reminders of her past life and betrayal of the succubus.

She tossed the box into the truck and went in one last time to check for anything else she might have left behind. Before she reached the stairs, she heard someone knocking at the door. She froze. Most people friendly with Bo simply walked in – this was not a friend dropping by. Pausing, she waited to see if the visitor would go away - they didn't. Tamsin cautiously approached the door, and opened it after the third series of knocks only to face a dead woman. It was Iris.

She recognized the young girl from Bo and Mark's description, which matched the photo of the dead girl from the elevator crash. The girl was beaming, a leather messenger-type satchel over one shoulder and two large envelopes in one hand. "Hello, Valkyrie. Is Bo here?" she asked.

Tamsin frowned while giving her the once-over. "No. Go away." The blonde rudely informed her while starting to shut the door.

Iris stopped the door from shutting on her with her free hand, insisting "I have something for her, for both of you!"

The Valkyrie froze, contemplating what she might be doing here. The girl seemed harmless, but appearances are often deceiving. And if she was one of the ancients, she was most likely very powerful, no matter how innocent she seemed. "What is it?" she asked.

Iris began gushing now, "Invitations, to a party at our house! I'm going to be there, but Zee and Hera didn't invite Mark like I wanted them to. Will you bring him? Or do you think his father will? He's really handsome, and soooo nice!"

Tamsi's jaw dropped upon hearing the word 'party.' The Raven had warned her not to go to _the_ party, and an event at the house of ancient fae would no doubt be exactly what she was referring to. The blonde shook her head to bring herself back to the immediate task at hand – getting rid of the nauseating girl in front of her, "I don't hold the pup's leash, but thanks for the invite." She snatched the envelopes and slammed the door before the girl could object.

Tamsin waited by the door to see if the annoyingly love-sick girl would try to get her to open the door again. Apparently, she took the hint and did not knock or try to enter the house any other way. _Holy Fuck, what an annoying little love sick shit! Oh nnnooooo, that must have been what I seemed like to Bo, and everyone else! Fuck my life, and fuck their party._ She was horrified at the thought that everyone knew how love sick she was, and may have used that information to manipulate her. _No doubt they thought it was funny as fuck to watch me make a fool of myself. I'm such a fucking idiot!_

She made her way upstairs now, determined she would leave today, and leave for good. The Valkyrie was trying desperately to keep her thoughts from imagining what jokes Bo and Lauren might have made about her and her fawning over the succubus, who felt nothing for her. Once she reached her room, she gathered up a few odds and ends as well as a few items of clothing she believed to be hers. Tamsin really wasn't paying much attention, to what she was doing. Her anger had returned, and she was trying to keep it in check. Tartarus would surely be her eternal punishment if she fucked up her last life and began killing out of vengeance. _**I**_ _let myself be used, volunteered to do so -_ _ **they**_ _didn't force me._ _ **I**_ _did this to myself; only_ _ **I**_ _can fix this. I can't let myself fall back into darkness, I can't. I_ _ **have**_ _to leave._

She found an airline carry-on travel bag Kenzi must have left in the wardrobe and began stuffing the remainder of her belongings in it until her eyes fell on the two envelopes Iris had given her. Tamsin's name was handwritten on one in neat calligraphy, Bo's on the other. Curious now, she opened her invitation and found that the party was in honor of Bo. _What the fuck? The ancients we are fighting against are throwing Bo a party? For what? To kill her? To kill all of us?_ She thought. But further theorizing was stopped by the sound of the door opening and closing. _Shit! She came back!_ Tamsin readied herself for battle with the ancient fae girl as she heard confident footfalls heading to the stairs. They unexpectedly stopped before reaching them. The reason became clear as a voice called out to her loudly "Tamsin!"

It was Bo.

 _Shit!_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: All I Want to be is Done

"Tamsin!" Bo called out as soon as she sensed someone else was in the house. It was a habit born of necessity, checking the house over quickly as she entered. The unaligned succubus had a lot of enemies. And she knew for a fact that Dyson had placed Tamsin's cell phone on the counter before he left; it was gone, and she could find no other signs of an intruder. Receiving no answer, Bo called out again "Tamsin, I know you're here!" before heading up the stairs to the room the Valkyrie and Kenzi had shared. She knew instinctively that the blonde would, from now on, avoid her own bedroom at all costs. She also deduced that the Valkyrie didn't want to see or talk to her right now. But she would talk to her; Bo always got Tamsin go along with her wishes, with the exception of the last time they spoke.

The succubus was right on all of her assumptions and then some; Tamsin had no inclination to answer the summons, speak to her, or share her bed ever again. She turned away from the door and quickly stuffed the envelopes into her carry-on before closing her eyes, praying her roommate would just leave her alone until she could leave quietly and without confrontation. The Valkyrie was still feeling vulnerable, and any attempt by Bo to commiserate with her would reduce her to bawling, tearful mess – and she knew it. She heard the foot stomps get closer until they stopped in the doorway. There was a moment or two of silence as apparently, once the succubus had discovered her, she didn't know what to say to her. _Hopefully, she just wanted to make sure it wasn't another robber breaking into the shack. I think she's pretty much said everything she needed to say, and I have nothing left to say to her except 'good-bye.'_

"Are you done moping now, Tamsin? Because it is getting really old." Bo said coldly. She was obviously pissed off about something. The Valkyrie already knew why - her avoidance of the succubus and the profanity & insult flavored discussion with Lauren at the clinic, no doubt about that.

 _That was one short lunch. I knew Lauren would fire her up about our talk; I didn't know it would ignite the engines of her anger enough to launch her into orbit around planet 'Fuck You Tamsin' and leave her date early._ Tamsin let out a long, quiet sigh without turning around to face her tormentor. She needn't have worried about losing her tenuous grip on her self-control; it seemed like Lauren and Bo were going to make this easy for her. "Yeah, I am. So done." she sighed and said softly.

"Good. So tell me, where did you go and just what were you doing?" Bo was slipping into Tamsin's bad cop routine quite easily, despite scolding her for using the approach on others. When she received no answer, she continued to talk to the Valkyrie's back. "Did you return to Valhalla? Are you working for Freya again?" she accused.

The blonde froze briefly at the mention of the after realm, but sadly offered a response this time. "No. I'm pretty sure I've been banished for good this time. For helping you."

The succubus ignored the mood of her roommate, and continued to antagonize her from the doorway. "Well, I hope you didn't **kill** anybody while you were out doing gods know what. Because I just talked to Lauren, and she was really upset about your little 'visit' to her clinic. What the fuck did you say to her to get her so angry? Were you fighting with her because of the tension between us?"

Tamsin shook her head quickly from side to side, not facing the succubus. She bit her back on her anger and the desire to quip that it was Evon'y clinic. "There is no 'us,' and not everything is about _you._ We had an argument, Bo, it happens. That's all." She replied in a mater-of-fact tone over her shoulder and then returned to carefully fold the few remaining clothes in front of her.

"If that's all it was, then you can at least tell me what the fuck you went there for in the first place." the succubus was getting angrier and crossed her arms while glaring at the back of the Valkyrie.

Tamsin wasn't going to reveal what she and Lauren were discussing, and put it back on the doctor "You'll have to ask Lauren that." She said earnestly. The Valkyrie kept people's secrets even if they openly discussed hers.

"I did. She said it was nothing; you repaid some money you owed her. She also mentioned that you were rude, but didn't do anything other than be a bitch, as usual. But, you know what I think? I think she's covering for you because she's afraid of what you might do to her! How **dare** you take your anger at me out on her! Tamsin, if you…"

She didn't get to finish the threat because the Valkyrie was laughing bitterly, her back still turned. "Well, if that's what you think, then that's strike three. And there isn't a fucking thing left to say." She added, again matter-of-factly. _She is making this too easy. Why was I even avoiding this?_

Once again, Bo had opened her mouth and said the wrong thing. It was true; Lauren was pissed off at the Valkyrie and had told her lover that was the reason for her sour mood over lunch. However, she had also dismissed it as Tamsin being Tamsin, and reminded Bo of how much the Valkyrie enjoyed getting a rise out of people for her own amusement. She then inquired as to why the blonde fae was there in the first place, and Lauren became defensive and evasive. When pressed Dr. Lewis confessed Tamsin's debt, which her lover didn't believe would compel Tamsin to visit the clinic, knowing what she did. Lauren changed the subject, instead inquiring into the reason for the succubus's obsession with the Valkyrie, until Bo was frustrated enough to abruptly end the lunch date over the doctor's objections. She immediately went to seek out the offending party, imagining the worst possible scenarios as the impetus of Tamsin to visit the clinic.

"No, Tammy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. It's just that…a lot has happened while you were gone, and I'm under a lot of stress. The ancients sent the oracles to me and…"Bo began back-pedaling quickly; she didn't really believe Tamsin had threatened Lauren in any way. She had only meant to evoke a defensive response out of her roommate to pull her out of her malaise in order to bring her back to her old self and get some answers. That, and she was angry at both of the blondes for their secretive natures – she hated when people wouldn't tell her the whole truth. She felt sure that Tamsin, ever honest even in betrayal, would be forthcoming with the details of her activities during her absence. She also wanted desperately to tell Tamsin of the oracles, how she had a vision of her father, and illicit the Valkyrie's opinion on what his cryptic words to her might mean. The Valkyrie had been to Tartarus, and was very well versed in ancient lore, after all. She struggled to find the right words to get Tamsin focused on the problem of how to defeat the ancients instead of her misguided obsession with love. She took a deep breath before continuing, now that she knew what to say. But she didn't find the right words, and unthinkingly blurted out the worst ones she could have possibly said in this moment to the heartbroken Valkyrie. Again.

"…We need to talk." She said the words so thoughtlessly and in the same inflection as when she said them the night she broke Tamsin's heart that it sent the Valkyrie's thoughts right back that very moment.

The succubus had taken no notice to what Tamsin was doing with her back turned, but she stopped whatever it was immediately as she whirled around to face the woman in the doorway. Tamsin _would_ talk to her now that they had ironed out the nature of their relationship and Bo was assured there was no threat to Lauren. But the succubus failed to note the pain and anger written all over her face, as she stared open mouthed and mute at the brunette as if in shock. _You have_ _ **got**_ _to be_ _ **FUCKING**_ _kidding me!_ The Valkyrie thought.

Bo innocently stared back, unaware of why the Valkyrie suddenly reacted so strongly, but glad she had at least gotten her to turn around and face her. She continued, uncrossing her arms, now that she had the blonde's full attention, "The night of the storm - " she began, but Tamsin interrupted.

"- We had this 'talk' already, that night, remember? Message received, _loud_ and _clear,_ **'roomie.'** Save your breath. And right now, you believe out of my jealousy for a love that I can't possibly feel, I threatened your girlfriend, because I can't have you. Strike three - I'm **out**." She gestured emphatically to herself and the succubus while speaking calmly, then turned back to her task of packing.

"No, Tamsin, Listen, it's not about th...- what are you doing?" the succubus suddenly took note of what the Valkyrie was doing facing her bed with her back turned to her. But it was too little, too late. Tamsin was done – done listening to Bo's accusations and appeals for her aid. She was also done packing.

Tamsin turned around with the carry-on clutched in her arms. Her former doubts about whether or not she should leave, they were not even in the back of her mind right now. "Good-bye, Bo." She said sadly, but with an air of finality.

The succubus was stunned. No matter how much she tried to down play Tamsin's obvious affection for her in her own mind, she suspected the Valkyrie was deeply in love with her. She had taken that for granted, and kept treating the blonde as a frenemy as they were when they met in her previous life. She was hoping that one day the blonde would take the hint and get bored of chasing after her and snap out of it. The hapless blonde had become so eager to please, asking nothing in return, patiently waiting for Bo's attention while the succubus slept with Dyson, or other random lovers. Bo didn't want to keep using the Valkyrie without showing her even the platonic, easy affection she would offer a close friend, but Tamsin kept offering. And Bo kept taking, all the while coldly pushing her away more and more every day so as not to lead her on. She wanted her to revert back to her nihilistic personality, and view Bo as occasional lover she would roll in the sheets with for a laugh, but never care about. But people don't live in hovels with casual hook-ups, or protect their families, work gratis for them, or risk their lives for them, or kill and die for them. They hop out of bed, gather their clothes, and leave.

And now the cold hard truth hit Bo. Tamsin now knew the succubus would never return her love and always regard her as a casual feed instead of a friend. Subsequently she was going to do what a casual feed was supposed to do - leave quickly and quietly, never to bother her again with her pathetic feelings of false love. Before she had figured out exactly what was going on and why, Tamsin was already out of the bedroom and heading down the stairs. Bo followed intent on stopping her leaving while pondering why she didn't just let her go. It wasn't like she didn't have other friends, or lovers. And it seemed like her and Lauren were close to getting officially back together. The Valkyrie annoyed the living hell out of her at most times with her sloppy living habits and flippant attitude. They didn't work well together, and if Lauren and her were a couple again, that situation could get very ugly. The doctor and the Valkyrie were serious frenemies, emphasis on the enemy part, and their quarreling and needling of each other irked Bo as she was forced to referee (usually siding with Lauren, of course.) But Tamsin and Lauren seemed to have an easy rapport and worked well together, even when their teasing cut a bit too deep. Lauren had become to Tamsin the person Bo used to be to her, and the succubus had to admit she was a bit envious of their relationship.

Bo broke out of her musings to demand of the Valkyrie, "You can't just leave, Tamsin, you're a part of this team. We **need** you… **I** need you!" She forced herself to tell the Valkyrie she needed her thinking that would stop her in her tracks. And she did her. She needed her to fight on their team, keep her confided secrets she told no one else, offer her honest advice, share lovers with, make her laugh, tell her how amazing she was, and to feed her chi. Tamsin had only asked for love in return, love she would never receive. And now that Bo had finally told her as much, Tamsin had, in fact, caught a clue and given up on the succubus ever loving her. The succubus had an unexpected epiphany that Tamsin didn't need her – not anymore. There was nothing for her to gain by staying, only the risk of further heartache as well as the actual physical danger of living with Bo. And that thought bothered her, more than she would expected it would have.

But the Valkyrie kept moving, even at the admission. Tamsin knew, or at least she had a working theory on Bo's push-pull behavior. Now that the succubus was trying to pull her back after shoving her away so hard, she wasn't going to be yanked back so easily. _Oh, now that I'm not a roommate, I'm a 'teammate.' Thanks for the promotion, but I'm still not part of your 'family', eh Bo. Nice try._ _You don't fucking need me. I'm just a tool that you think nothing about until you or your family need it and can't find it._ Tamsin made it to the living room and slammed her carry-on down on the coffee table, turning it around and opening it while Bo scurried across the room to pick up something. She sighed heavily, "That's really nice of you; but we both know it's not true. _**And I don't need you either**_ _!"_

The coldness of the blonde's tone and confirmation of her own realization increased Bo's desperation. And it showed in her next attempt to engage her roommate, once again, in a conversation about Hades and the other ancients. " _ **Tamsin!"**_ she began desperately, setting her unearthly birthday present from daddy in front of the Valkyrie, who calmly ignored it, opting to muse over an article of clothing from her bag as she rummaged through it.

 _So nice of you to remind me of how I made a fool of myself on your birthday!_ she thought bitterly, and her pride demanded retribution. She fell back on her instincts for protection and habit of lashing out with verbal jabs as she had always done to push people away so they wouldn't be able to get close enough to hurt her, emotionally. Holding up a pair of pants she suspected might have been Kenzi's she asked, "Hmm, these leather pants yours? Never mind. You keep 'em." She straightened up and tossed the pants forcefully at the succubus, adding with her head tilted to one side, "I know you like to re-use old styles."

Bo didn't play along with the insult game, she had decided to give in and talk about what she thought the Valkyrie wanted to discuss. "Fashion snark, is that where we're at? C'mon, Tamsin, we can talk about this." She said sincerely and earnestly as she deftly caught the garment and carefully folded it, dropping them on the table. But Tamsin was no longer willing to open up to the succubus. Tamsin's tentative attempts to show her vunerability that were either met with scorn, accusations or ignored out of hand had launched the ship, and it had already disappeared over the horizon.

 _It wasn't fashion snark, it was relationship snark! Gods, you can be so dense!_ The Valkkyrie thought as she closed her bag before looking up and replying with a scrunched nose. "You know what, _we don't need to._ " She gestured to herself as she continued "I was upset and now, I'm not! I realized there's no winning with you."

Bo hated to admit to herself she was relieved that the blonde didn't want to discuss the nature of their relationship anymore. If the Valkyrie wanted to exchange barbs, then she would happily do so if it brought back the old Tamsin. The one she wanted and needed so badly.

"What game are we playing again?" the succubus retorted with arms crossed.

"Uh, 'doesn't matter where your body is your heart will always be with her.'"

"Have you been listening to John Legend?" once again, Bo crossed her arms, unconsciously indicating to the Valkyrie how closed off, emotionally, she was to the woman in front of her. But Tamsin didn't need to be fluent in body language to know that; past experience had already made her painfully aware of the fact.

Tamsin sighed, tired of being a pawn other people's games and realizing the Raven was right – she needed to play her own game, with her rules. She would move around the board as she saw fit, not as others maneuvered her. And if the pieces were of her choosing; right now she chose to discard emotion and make a play with honesty. "Look, you and Lauren will just always be a couple. _Even when you're not!"_ She needed an exit strategy. _I need to give her the invitation, but I want to be closer to the door. If she is so obsessed with the ancients, this will set her over the edge. I'm not going to let her use my love for her to drag me into her bullshit, not this time._ She tried to pull the drag handle of the carry-on, but it slid completely free of the bag, now useless. "Damn it!" the Valkyrie exclaimed, distracted by the unexpected set back. She threw the handle carelessly on the floor, gathering the bag in her arms once again.

"Where will you go?" the succubus asked, as if she didn't think the ages old Valkyrie could possibly live on without her financial support.

Tamsin internally winced at the painful reminder that she had burned all her bridges with both the dark fae and Valhalla to help Bo and her family. Not to mention Hades, Bo's father. The blonde flippantly answered, "Wherever the universe takes me." The look on the succubus's face told her she wasn't going to accept that answer, and fearing she might chase after her, cleared her throat and added truthfully, "mmm…humm, …Motel 6. And _then_ wherever the universe takes me!" _Truth, I do have a room there. Now that she knows I won't be sleeping in the street, she'll leave me alone. I don't want her to feel guilty and try harder to get me to stay. Not that she's concerned about me in particular, after all – she'll take anyone in._ She thought as she headed for the door.

Suddenly Tamsin remembered the invitation, and paused, digging out the envelope from the side pocket of her bag. "Oh, I almost forgot. This came for you." She held it out with her arm stretched out as far as it could, feeling that Bo didn't want to get any closer to her than necessary. She was right, the succubus didn't step any closer to her than it took to stretch her own hand out to accept the envelope.

She did, however, make a last ditch effort to persuade the Valkyrie to stay, "Tamsin, I lost Kenzi. I don't want to lose you, too."

The Valkyrie pondered this strange and unexpected declaration. Bo was comparing her to Kenzi, her best and closest friend. But Kenzi had never slept with Bo. And Bo had never called Tamsin a friend. But she had recently emotionally broken down so completely over her fear of being alone that she couldn't even feed. _She's afraid of losing people, afraid the darkness inside her is driving them away. And it is. She is a baby fae, after all._ The Valkyrie now felt pity for Bo, because she couldn't see that the train wreck that would be if Tamsin stayed. She wanted to feed off the Valkyrie while she happily played spouse to Lauren, not thinking of how it would affect her or the other two women. How Lauren would have to pretend it didn't bother her that Bo was taking advantage of Tamsin's love for her while Valkyrie sustained her girlfriend with her very life force. How Tamsin would have to pretend she didn't love Bo and it didn't bother her while she watched the two lovers show each other the affection she craved. Tamsin would have to hide her sorrow daily as Bo treated her as they weren't even friends to make sure Lauren wouldn't feel jealous. How Bo would have to pretend she didn't think Tamsin could feel love, and consequently couldn't be hurt by her cold attitude towards Valkyrie she needed to maintain to keep the guilt of using her from eating her up inside.

 _She_ _ **does**_ _care about me. But she can't let herself get close to me, not even as just a friend, because she knows how much I love her and she feels guilty for using me. I_ _ **am**_ _wise beyond my lives. Even If she begged me, I can't stay – no matter how much part of me wants to despite the danger from Valhalla. Sooner or later the darkness in her will suppress the guilt she feels when she uses people to such an extent that she will no longer be capable of even feeling guilty. Then she will knowingly begin to hurt them to get what she wants without remorse. I should know, because that's what I did, so long ago._

"It's better this way." Tamsin stated softly with such painful sincerity that the succubus believed she was speaking from heart, not simply trying to punish the brunette for her rejection despite her earlier snark. Managing somehow to shut the door behind her with bag in arms, the Valkyrie left the clubhouse. Bo didn't follow or try to stop her again; they both knew their roommate faze, and probably their entire relationship was over - for good.

 _It is better this way,_ Tamsin thought as she drove off to her new home, _**more**_ _than you will ever know, and for every single one of us._


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Uncomfortably Numb at Rock Bottom

She was almost to the motel when her phone rang. She ignored it. It was Bo, of course, and she didn't need to answer the call to know what the succubus wanted. Tamsin was only surprised it took her so long to call. _I already know what she's calling about, and I have more important things to deal with right now, so first things fucking last._ She laughed out loud at the ridiculous idiom, her current situation a perfect example of it. Bo was obviously calling about the ancient's party invitation; it was a matter of great importance for the colony if not the whole world. Tamsin needed a place to live, a matter of no importance, comparatively. But right now, to her, the priority was reversed because her own state of mind became paramount in importance _to her._ A sudden thought struck her as she began toting her few earthly belongings into the hotel room, _if Bo had put first things fucking last more often, Kenzi might have never left. Or me, for that matter._

After she was done unpacking her bags, she took a deep breath and set the box Kenzi had given her on the bed. She hesitated before opening it, as if doing so would, like Pandora's Box, unleash evil into the world. Inside she discovered her wallet, badge, lock picking kit, a handful of coins in an envelope, the registration paperwork for her ill-fated truck, some makeup, various odds and ends, and near the bottom - her Glock, presumably unloaded and still in its holster. She carefully drew the weapon and locked the slide back, to check the chamber and be sure. After releasing the slide catch and returning it to its holster, she looked in the box again to find the magazines. She found instead her crumpled picture of Bo, still in the clear plastic bag she had kept it in with the rune glass. The pistol magazines now forgotten, she slowly sat on the bed and studied the photo in her hand. Instead of taking stock of what she had left before she mapped out the course of her own future, her thoughts travel back in time.

The photo was a bitter reminder of a past life that she had fully intended to forget when she drove her truck off the cliff in a vain attempt to kill Bo's father. But she hadn't foreseen that Dyson would look for her after her rebirth and return her to the succubus, instead of letting her move on to her final life in ignorance of the love she had felt. The artifact of her former existence silently bore witness to her betrayal and demanded justice. It was an accusation she didn't deny and could no longer ignore. The overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame its reappearance caused were the very reasons she had never opened the box sooner. She let out a loud sob as she held the photo, still in its protective cover. The self-control she had managed to maintain all day was lost as the recent heartbreak increased the despair brought on by her feelings of guilt exponentially. Alone, in her room, the Valkyrie fell down on the bed and finally let herself break down completely without even attempting to regain her composure or caring that she lost it in the first place.

* * *

When her sobbing stopped and tears dried up, she finally wiped her eyes and nose as the remnants of her breakdown dissolved into hitched breathing before gradually ending altogether. She was now ready to move on to her aborted plan from the previous evening to get three-sheets-to-the-wind drunk. _That must be why people say "Let it all out" to a crying person. It really is cathartic. And even if I don't feel much better, I do feel like I can function._ But she didn't want to think today - she wanted to forget about everything, and regretted choosing to remember everything about Bo after her rebirth. But first, there was business that needed to be addressed. Tamsin had a plan to carry out, even if it was only to get as drunk as possible for as long as possible and _then_ be completely useless. After all, she had nowhere to go and no one to talk to; she didn't even have a job. So, she cleaned herself up, washing her face, tying up her hair and brushing her teeth. Looking in the mirror, she saw the evidence of her cry and fixed her makeup before heading to the lobby. She had only rented the room for one night, and after her encounter with Bo, she knew she needed more time to decide if she would stay in the colony or move far from this place.

The same clerk as before was behind the counter when Tamsin asked to extend her stay to one week. The young woman said it shouldn't be a problem, and pulled up her information on the computer. The clerk was astounded and concerned to find nothing but random gibberish instead of her vital information. The Valkyrie laughed at this and offered the lame excuse of a computer glitch to explain how she had checked in without a record. She volunteered her driver's license to allow the woman to re-enter the information. The information was all bullshit, anyways. The young woman seemed relieved, however, and it made the blonde fae smile warmly to think she had saved her from getting in trouble with her boss. _How can this simple thing make me feel better? I don't even know her, let alone give a shit about her._

Next stop – a liquor store, a handle and a half of cheap vodka wasn't nearly enough to get as drunk as she planned to. _Thank the gods this place has shopping carts._ she thought as she began filling it with goodies, picked whatever caught her fancy as she walked the isles. She chose several bottles of cheap bourbon, more vodka, a handle of 185 proof grain alcohol, an expensive bottle of tequila and some kind of cinnamon whiskey with a devil on it. Her hunger would doubtless arise while on her mission, so she also tossed in just about one of every scant snack food item the liquor store stocked. She added a case of her favorite larger in bottles, just to cleanse the palate. Once at the counter, she asked for a glass tumbler and a shot glass from a shelf behind the clerk. _I hate those fragile plastic hotel cups._ With her badge hooked on her belt, she didn't even need to show ID, which she actually could produce this time. She made it home without any 'unpleasantness.'

Once back in her room, she set up the small desk as a makeshift bar, and stuffed as much beer in the small refrigerator as it could hold. After filling up the ice bucket, she got straight down to business, filling her glass with ice and vodka. She drank the first one straight down before she even kicked off her shoes and lay on the bed. But filling a glass with liquor was too time consuming so she switched to the bourbon. It was easier hold, and so abandoned her glass and began drinking straight from the bottle. She had turned on the TV to disrupt the deafening silence which allowed her to hear the dark thoughts within her more clearly, and had settled on a movie playing on one of the cable music channels. The Valkyrie had seen it before, but it had always seemed like nonsense to her.

That's when Bo called again. She held the phone in both hands, looking at the picture of the smiling succubus it displayed solemnly. Just before the call switched over to voicemail, she hit the 'answer' button on the phone without putting it up to her ear. It was not a conscious decision; it was a knee-jerk reaction. Answers were what she needed. Bo didn't wait for her to speak; she immediately launched into an explanation of why she was calling (which Tamsin already knew) and didn't pause to give the Valkyrie a chance to say anything. The broken woman had no intention of interjecting, and simply held the phone in front of her, not listening to what was being said to her. She was feeling all the worse for hearing Bo's voice so emotionless, yet determined. Words like "team," "need," "plan," "Dyson," "Lauren," "Dal," and " _important_ " broke through the diatribe to Tamsin's consciousness, but her full attention had now shifted to the strange movie she now began to understand, in part, at long last.

What she assumed was the main character was near passed out in a chair, out of his mind, in a trashed hotel room. He had called his wife, and found out she was in bed with another man. Others broke in and tried desperately to coax him back to full consciousness. The song playing informed the viewer he was 'comfortably numb,' not simply numb – but comfortably so. _I am just plain numb, but I want to be comfortably numb, too._ she were calling out to him, he didn't answer. She realized Bo was anxiously calling her name, but didn't respond. She continued to stare at the TV when the insults from the phone speaker began to break through to her - "big baby," "uncaring," "selfish." But when " **murderer"** reverberated in her mind causing an involuntary shiver to course through her body like an earthquake aftershock, she finally took action. She dropped the phone on the bed next to her without even ending the call. She couldn't be bothered to find out in what context the word was used, or if it was even used in reference to her at all. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Grabbing the TV remote with one hand, she turned up the volume, and took a lengthy swig off the bottle of bourbon with the other as she thought, _I feel more comfortable now._

* * *

The movie was over, as her first bottle of bourbon nearly was, when her phone rang again. The Valkyrie had forgotten about Bo's call, and was startled by the ringing. _I wonder how long it took for her to give up on me?_ It was Vex, if she had her ringtone set right. She answered it, not really interested in the movie about some girl band lesbian drama. _She doesn't love you, get over it and move on, bitch._ She thought, referring more to herself than the movie character. "What?" she answered, in a monotone voice.

"That's no way to greet your best mate now, is it? I thought we were close!" Vex joked on the line.

"Now is not a good time; I'm just not good company right now." The Valkyrie explained sadly.

"When are you _ever?!"_ Vex laughed at his own joke; Tamsin did not. Nor did she respond at all. His assessment rang true, at least to her, right now. The Mesmer sensed her self-loathing mood, and shifted gears to cheer her up and gain her full attention.

"Sorry, all right, but listen, I have something to cheer you up! A business opportunity has presented itself, and I've decided to let you in on it because you are such a _dear_ friend of mine. I really do need your help tonight. And don't worry; it's very simple and isn't something that will damage that budding conscious you are nurturing!" he informed her enthusiastically.

"What is it?" she asked after a long pause. She would have dismissed him outright, but he called her a friend, asked for her help, and assured her it was something that didn't involve killing. Tamsin was actually feeling warm towards the Mesmer just by the simple fact that he saw her as a friend and acknowledged the pain she was feeling. She didn't know whether or not he was sincere – but it was good to hear it from someone, anyone.

He explained that he had been called by an old friend, a rival dark fae club owner. Her former partner, also her former lover, had left her and she needed a promoter as her business was suffering since her lover was also the promoter for her club. Vex, although out of favor with the dark fae elders over recent events, still had talent and business sense for which she was willing to pay. However, he still had enemies that he needed protection from now that Evony was no longer the Morrigan. That's what he needed her for - to protect him, his client and associates from possible retaliation from the Mesmer's many enemies once they found out he was trying to rebuild his business and might be too drunk to consider the consequences of confronting him in public. When he reminded her of her reputation for brutality among the fae, telling her that alone would her an excellent bodyguard, it had been an appeal to her vanity in order to enlist her aid. However, it had the opposite effect – she felt even more ashamed and refused again with a sorrowful apology.

"C'mon love, it's going to be a party to end all parties!" Vex gushed to her.

That statement did evoke an strong response from Tamsin. "A party! Are you inviting me to a _party?!"_ Her strained and intense tone confused him, but he sensed that Tamsin was put off unexpectedly by the thought of attending a party.

"Well, not as such – just a club were people are _partying_ and we will be _working._ Not saying you can't enjoy yourself, but no, not a special event. Other than me being there. And you, of course." Vex assured her.

His attempts at calming the Valkyrie seemed to have worked as he only received a grunt in response. Tamsin said nothing else for a few beats, until Vex added, "You do owe me a favor, if you are going to force my hand." They were dark fae, after all. They had their own etiquette governing friendship, and asking a favor of a dark fae without expectation of reciprocation was certainly a faux pas.

"Did you take care of that thing we discussed?" she asked finally.

Vex backed off his hard sell now, "Well, no. Not as such…but not for lack of trying! Let me catch you up on things - the Blood King has been busy with a meeting of Bo's coven and hasn't taken your journal out lately. But I will get it you if I can; you have my blood oath on that. He's too busy studying up on Zeus and Hera, because that's who the ancients are, in fact. They all got invitations to a fae high-society party from the gods happening two days from now. That idiotic self-absorbed Cassie has been found dead on the sidewalk outside their apparent apartment building; it seems someone wanted to see if she could fly. Dyson's moved Hera, or Heratio's vessel's wife into his place to play house with him and Mark, whom he is dragging to the shindig, against my objections out of concern for the boy's safety. Mark is talking incessantly about the gods' lovely daughter, Iris, whom he is mad crushing on; and, oh, by the way, your former 'roommate' happened to mention that you threw a temper tantrum and moved out. And apparently you are now - wait let me get this right - quote 'being totally unreasonable and avoiding me like the plague!' unquote. Good for you!"

"I didn't throw a tantrum!" the Valkyrie hissed in denial.

The Mesmer was laughing now, not at her, but for her, "I'm believe you love, I believe you! But _she_ did, at the Dal the day we went to the track! It was glorious sight to behold! I only wish I recorded it for you!"

"I really didn't need to see it. I've seen enough of her fits. But I can't do this for you this right now. I don't think I would do anyone any good right now." she added with despair in her voice.

"All right, all right. We'll leave it for now. But ring me back after Dyson finishes winding you up, and let me know if you've changed your mind." He said slyly.

"I won't answer his call." she informed the Mesmer

"No need, after you ignored his best girl - he's comming to you to have a little confab." Vex gleefully informed her.

 **"What?"** she shouted, sitting up with concern over a possible interruption of her own plans for getting shit-faced in her self-pitying solitude.

"Oh, don't worry, it's nothing heavy, deary! He's just going to use the power of the police badge to find out exactly where you are by your cell phone ping and is going to demand you to do the same thing for Bo gratis that I just asked you to do for money. But, I assure you the succu-bitch can't be bothered to tag along. She commanded her dog to go fetch you back. She's more concerned about what to _wear_ than _where_ you are, and took off to the formal dress shops with her on-again, off-again girlfriend!"

Tamsin simply sighed in response. The fact that his revelations that would have normally riled her up had failed to illicit the expected outraged response told him more than any words she could have said to him about her state of mind right now. He sighed, too, feeling her pain, but tried once again to bring her out of the downward spiral she was in.

"Listen, love, don't get too drunk, and ring me back after he leaves. He won't stay too long with his new human pet waiting at home. You can do this. I know how you feel, love, and you owe it to yourself to start rebuilding your life. Fuck them, Tamsin. They don't deserve you." With that he hung up.

 _No, Vex. I don't deserve_ _ **them**_ _, or anybody._ After drinking her bottle to the dregs, she got up only to open another one before lying back down again, head resting on a pillow against the headboard. The girl band movie was over, and an encore presentation of the previous, now more interesting to her movie, began. It had only been playing for fifteen minutes or so before she heard a loud and insistent knocking at her door. She made no move to answer it or see who it was. The knocking continued and she heard the wolf shifter's voice on the other side of the door announce, "Tamsin, I know you're in there. If you don't open this door, I'm going to break it down."

 _Fuck me._


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: So, You're Concerned About My Happiness?

"Tamsin, I know you're in there. If you don't open this door, I'm going to break it down."

Dyson had found her, just as the Mesmer had predicted. She didn't care one way or another as she had no intention of opening the door or talking to the shifter. She simply stared at it wondering how he was planning on convincing her to help them. _He's just Bo's errand boy, and I have nothing to say to either of them. I won't be a pawn in their games anymore, and right now I have no pieces of my own in play other than self-pity and apathy. **Let** the whole world go to shit; all my lives were nothing but a world of shit. _ she thought bitterly.

" **Tamsin**!" the shifter was knocking loudly again, and calling out to her, all his efforts in vain. The noisy disruption abruptly stopped. But despite his threat, he didn't kick the door down; he seemed to have given up and left. _Fuckin' A, I finally catch a break._ she thought, nursing the bottle and turning back to her movie. But her relief at Dyson's departure was short lived as some minutes later she heard muffled voices outside the door and a faint jingling of keys. The sound the deadbolt turning and the electric lock beeping brought her attention back to the door. It opened just as far as the chain lock would allow. She watched in curiosity, now, thankful at her own sense of security and having the foresight to lock the door from the inside. _Now what, big boy?_

She heard him thank what she assumed was the motel manager before calling out to her again through the partially opened door. _Fucking cops._ "Tamsin, unlatch the chain and let me in. I assure you I will break this door open."

He waited a minute for her to comply with his request, which she didn't, before making good on his threat this time. Tamsin watched mutely as the chain was ripped out of the door and now swung uselessly as Dyson surged effortlessly through the doorway. He stood for a moment and took stock of the situation. He seemed surprised and relieved that she was unhurt and conscious, regarding him with somber curiosity. But the liquor bottles and snack food wrappers as well as the sadly silent Valkyrie spoke volumes to him of her state of mind and circumstance. He had never seen her like this, nor had he thought it was even possible for her to feel so much sorrow. Dyson muddled over what he should say to her, but before he could find the words, she broke the ice for him.

"You're paying for that." She said pointing with the index finger of the hand that held the bottle of liquor, indicating the broken door lock. The Valkyrie took a drink, and turned back to the TV, adding "And while you're standing there, why don't you shut the door. From the _**outside**_ _."_

Dyson laughed heartily at the blonde's attempts to brusquely dismiss him. He was relieved that she was safe, and feeling enough like her old self enough to playfully chide him. But he had no intention of leaving before he talked with her. They needed her help; Bo needed her. He shut the door, from the inside, grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and pulled the desk chair over next to the bed. The wolf sat down opening his beer and regarding her with silent contemplation. She made no other comment or acknowledgement of his actions or presence and calmly sipped from her bottle, ostentatiously watching the movie as if he had left as she had asked him to.

The wolf drank with her in comfortable silence for some time. He was patient, as a good detective should be, and knew sooner or later his impatient former partner would be unable to control her irritation at his forced intrusion and lash out at him, probably with a profanity-laced insulting rant. Or, she would at least be unable to control her curiosity about the reason for his unexpected visit and demand answers. But by the time he finished his second bottle of beer, he realized he had misjudged her. She wasn't her old self, or even her new-born self. Devoid of every trait that was once important to her sense of self-worth, the once proud Valkyrie was now a person he no longer recognized; she was broken, empty.

He concluded that he would have to be the one to start a conversation if he wanted to talk with her. "Tamsin," the shifter began softly, reaching out to touch her hand on the bed. She pulled it away quickly, as if he had burned her with his gentle touch.

"Please don't touch me!" she whispered mournfully. She still didn't look directly at him, but he saw that her eyes were beginning to gather with tears, and so pulled back, sighing. He didn't want to push her so far that she would break down in front of him. Even if she no longer felt the need to maintain her pride, he would do it for her. And the number one priority to stop her from spiraling out of control in front of him was to get her to throttle back on the alcohol intake.

Dyson got up and grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge, opened them, and set his on the night stand. After snatching the whiskey bottle out of Tamsin's hand without warning, he pressed the beer into her now empty hand. She accepted it without comment, looking at him now with surprise. "If you expect to stay conscious long enough to make it too the end of your movie, you might want to pace yourself. I'm sure the suspense at not knowing how it ends would drive you crazy!" he informed her with a mirthful smile as he sat back down in his chair and took a drink from his own beer.

She smiled sadly, then laughed without humor at his attempts at conversation and shook her head before turning back to the TV and informing him "I already know how it ends. Badly."

She wasn't talking about the movie, and he knew it. But the admission encouraged him to further engage her in conversation. The shifter was genuinely worried about her, although his love and concern for Bo and their mission superseded the needs of the broken woman before him. Tamsin needed time and space to heal, he knew that, assuming she was even able get over her heartbreak at all. But they needed her help _now_. She needed to be in on the plans and get ready; the fate of the colony was hanging by a thread and Bo had said the Valkyrie's skill set was vital. This couldn't have happened at a worse time – so soon after Kenzi's own departure and just when they needed an after life expert. It was a bad situation, and he hated that he couldn't make his former partner a priority right now. But her apathetic attitude made asking for her help outright impossible. So, he decided to try to get her to open up to him before tactfully trying to enlist her cooperation. He leaned forward with his forearms on his legs and gently encouraged her to tell him what was bothering her, although he already suspected the root cause of her despair.

"Tamsin, you can talk to me. I _care_ about you. I don't know what happened between you and Bo, but I know y–"

"Do me a favor; look me in the eye and tell me you're not here at her majesty's command. And if she did send you, run back to your 'Queen Bee' empty-handed with your tail between your legs and tell her I said 'Go fuck yourself.'" Tamsin interrupted, looking him straight in the eyes with no sign of the tears she had almost shed just minutes ago.

Tamsin had thought that would certainly anger the wolf enough to get him to leave, but instead, he seemed encouraged to further converse with her now that he had unwittingly gotten an angry reaction out of her. If she suspected why he was here, he could guess who the informant was. He didn't want the Valkyrie to fall back in with the dark fae crowd, especially the Mesmer he despised so much. But there was always the chance that she didn't know about the true reason for his visit, and gambled on that. Dyson tried to remind her of who her true friends were, but didn't confirming or deny her suspicions.

"Bo is worried about you! We all are. Don't leave like this Tamsin! Bo –"

"- loves you. And Lauren. And not me. I'm dark. She hates dark fae. End of story. Go away." With that, she finished her beer and dropped the empty bottle on the floor as she turned back to the movie. If he didn't have the common courtesy to answer her question, she didn't want to discuss _anything_ with him. It would be pointless. Dyson fetched another for her, stubbornly not giving up as easily as she hoped he would.

"You know, I could just arrest you for impersonating a police officer," he began, indicating the badge she still had clipped to the front of her jeans, "drag you down to the station, handcuff you to an interrogation table and wear you down until you give in and talk to me." He was smiling sadly at her, not really serious, but still a possible last resort in his own mind.

She regarded him thoughtfully as she took a drink from her beer before calling his bluff, "Why don't you then; I'm in no condition to try and stop you. You could bring Bo in, to play bad cop for you. Let her work me over before you 'rescue' me and earn my cooperation. I'm sure you'd both enjoy that."

He sighed, and remaining silent as he mulled over a different tactic to try. Dyson wasn't sure exactly what had transpired between Bo and Tamsin, but he did know that the succubus was growing closer to the doctor, once again. And he knew the object of both their affections could be very clumsy when dealing with people's emotions – almost as if she didn't understand the affect she had on them. Or perhaps it was a natural self-defense mechanism of a succubus to keep them from feeling guilty. And they all knew Valkyrie, by nature, avoided love at all costs. Mixing the two had created a perfect shit storm.

"She doesn't mean to hurt anyone, Tamsin." He finally stated, saying exactly what was on his mind for the first time. "She just can't help it."

"I know, Dyson! I know!" she exclaimed with both hands covering her face. After a pause she removed them before explaining, "That's exactly why I need to stay away from her. It's easier for you; at least she loved you, once. It hurts so much be reminded of how much I love her, and how much she has always despised me, and the things I've had to do." She was about to cry again, and so whispered out her next statement with her eyes closed tightly to keep her voice from breaking and her tears from falling, "Please, Dyson! I can't. I just can't anymore."

He didn't answer her right away; he just calmly sat back in his chair and allowed her time to collect herself. She was grateful for the respite, but eager for their meeting to be over. After they silently finished their beers, he replenished them without comment. He was glad that she hadn't reached for the whiskey bottle again, and waited. Ever the patient and understanding one, he would let her collect herself until he deemed she was composed enough to converse without breaking down completely.

She was the first to break the silence again, surprisingly, fingers of one hand peeling at the label of the cold beer in the other hand, "She doesn't need me around, Dyson, she honestly doesn't. What she really needs is to just let me go. It's the best thing to do, for all of us. Especially her, if she wants to stop hurting people, however unintentionally." Tamsin's sincerity and thoughtfulness impressed the detective. Her insights into the dangerous nature of the succubus's possessiveness matched his own. But he still had a mission to complete, and pursued it relentlessly. It was _important,_ to him, the colony - and Bo.

Dyson entreated her urgently, "What about me, Tamsin? What if **I** need you around, for me? I've missed working with you! C'mon partner, I need you. Don't leave me hanging!"

"I'm not your partner anymore! And I didn't leave you - you fired me." The Valkyrie shot back quickly, and bitterly.

He sighed again, put a palm of one hand on his forehead and moved it slowly down his face until it reached his beard, which he began stroking thoughtfully before holding it in the air and answering, "I'm sorry about that, Tamsin. Bo was such an emotional wreck after Kenzi left, I thought it would be best if you worked with her instead of me. She needed someone to be there for her; and I thought I would be good for you, too. But, I'm here for you – right now. Talk to me."

She looked shocked at his apology as she slowly sat up and cocked her head to one side. Her green eyes were shifting around his entire person, searching for something, and grew wide when his subconscious tell-tale ticks revealed it to her. In her head, the Valkyrie heard the Raven's voice _"…you became a pawn they could move maneuver around the board…_ "You're _lying."_ She hissed out, incredulous that in her moment of need, that the wolf would choose to be anything other than brutally honest with her as she had always been with all of them.

Dyson looked shocked, in return, at this accusation. Although, he shouldn't have been – he knew she was a very good detective, after all. And he was lying, not only about being there for _her_ right now, but also that working with Bo would be good for both women. He hadn't thought at all at the time about what was in Tamsin's best interests. He did know the succubus would eventually jump into bed with the Valkyrie, but didn't love her. She couldn't help it, it was her nature, and no denying irritating Lauren was a bonus. But his only concern at the time was for Bo, not what was best for him or Lauren, or his friend now broken before him. By the time he suspected Tamsin loved more deeply than he realized and tried to warn her, it was too late. Although he also didn't know very much about the nature of Valkyrie, and why they avoided love, he was beginning to, now. He needed explain this, and quick, "Tamsin, -"

"Get out." She said without emotion, laying back on the pillow propped against the headboard and turning back to the TV. Knowing he wasn't, and couldn't, be there for her without trying to manipulate her, she couldn't stand the shifter's presence anymore. It hurt almost as much it did to be around Bo.

This interaction was over. He knew he couldn't get through to her right now. He had betrayed her with his dishonesty, however small, when she needed truth simply to make things easier for him. After he got up to take his leave, he paused with the door partially open and turned back to offer a sincere apology – one without ulterior motive. "I'm sorry Tamsin. I didn't think it would end like this."

Again, she surprised him by calling out to him once more, "Dyson." He looked into her sorrowful eyes, devoid of any sign of the anger he expected to see there. She truly was broken; there was not a hint left of the strong character they had all come to rely on. He doubted now that she would be of any use to them even if she did agree to help them.

"We could have been good together, you know. Even if we both loved her more than we loved each other. I know you pushed me away because you wanted another chance to be with her after Rainer died. I don't blame you; I wanted a chance, too." She stated sadly, a tear finally escaping her eyes to run down her face unmolested, though her voice remained strong. She turned away not waiting for a reply. It was over; he couldn't even be a friend to her, either. Not if it meant he would have to go against Bo's wishes on any given subject.

He nodded and cleared his throat to remove the lump that had grown there before speaking, "Call me if you change your mind." With that, he closed the door from the outside and was gone.

Once he was gone, Tamsin got up and re-locked the deadbolt. She turned and leaned heavily on the door, sighing. _I was wrong thinking none of them other than Kenzi called me a friend, Dyson had. But he obviously didn't mean it._ They knew where she was now, and seemed determined to bring her back into the fold. They would always find her if she stayed in the colony. She knew if she did go back, Bo would unthinkingly rip the scabs off of her emotional wounds day after day and the pain would only increase. She noticed her phone on the bed, and moved to pick it up, scroll through the contact list, and dial a number.

It was answered after only one ring; her call was apparently expected. "Yes."

"I've changed my mind."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Don't drink and drive folks. Thanks for reading.**

Chapter 14: Takin' Care of Business

Tamsin had just finished showering, changing, and fixing herself up when she heard the knock at the door. She opened it, rolled her eyes and laughed at the sight before her despite herself. Vex stood there with a huge smile on his face, arms held wide open, which he used to grab her into an unexpected friendly embrace. He patted her on the back a few times before releasing her and re-introducing his 'associate' he failed to mention he was bringing along. "Tamsin, glad you decided to join us! You remember Choga, of course." The pair of them looked like the Blues Brothers, sans pork pie hats and Wayfarer sunglasses. Although the Mesmer had told wear whatever she wanted, she felt under-dressed in her usual jeans and plain button-down shirt, in comparison. And since this was a job, she had pulled her hair tightly into a bun at the back of her head.

The Valkyrie crossed her arms and assured him she did remember the slimy man looking decidedly uncomfortable in the expensive jacket and slacks he was wearing, "Vex, I am not going to play watch dog for you while you pimp out the toad boy for people to lick in the restrooms if the price is right!" Tamsin wasn't angry at the Mesmer for trying to con her; he was, after all, a self-admitted con man. Still, there were limits on what she would do for money.

"No, of course not! This is a high class operation! We've managed to package Choga sweat into pill form in order to appeal to a more discerning, and wealthier consumer base! We need to generate a consumer base and develop distributors. You helped me out at the track, and I want to repay you. Isn't that what friends are for? And you _will_ have a good time, I promise!" he soothed her. She remained stock still, regarding him with undisguised suspicion. Recognizing this, he reached out his hands and grabbed both her shoulders. He looked her right in the eyes before adding, " **Trust** me. This is just what you need right _now_."

She gave in to him. She had to; she needed money if she was going to leave the colony. And Tamsin had told him she would help, and she didn't want to go back on her word. Honesty was especially important to her now that she knew Dyson, whom she had considered her friend, had used her so unknowingly cruelly and lied about it right to her face. However much it hurt, though, she couldn't really blame him. He didn't understand fully the nature of Valkyrie, and everything he did was for the love of Bo. She could understand that – love trumps friendship every time, especially if they were rivals in love with the same person.

She met them at the destination in her own truck; she didn't want to ride with Vex and his idiotic companion in their probably stolen car. _I'd have to talk to Dyson in the interrogation room after all, if we got busted by fae cops._ she reasoned to herself. The thought that her already partially inebriated state might also gain her unwanted attention from the police didn't cross her mind. She was a Valkyrie, after all, and could perform no matter what.

The club was everything that Vex's former one wasn't. It was brighter and more mainstream in every way, and far too busy to be a failing business. _Uh, this place looks like it is doing great - did he lie to me? And if so, what for?_ Her suspicious nature returned as she began to rebuild the walls around her heart. She thought of several different and increasingly painful ways of repaying the Mesmer if this was some sort of bizarre attempt at betrayal before dismissing them. _All he had to do was leave me alone, I'm sure I would have punished myself worse than anything he could do to me. At least I'm going to get paid and have some distraction."_

Vex was introducing her, now, to a sad looking freckled woman sitting at a more quiet side bar, and that broke her out of her musings. She offered a small smile and nodded at the strawberry blonde club owner, Lila by name, who did so in return before turning back to stare at her champagne flute. _Awkward, indeed. She looks like I feel. "Misery loves company…"_ again the Ravens words came back to haunt her. She looked around anxiously to make sure it was not in fact a bona fide party going on.

Vex mistook the intensions of her actions, and pulling her aside said to her, "Don't worry, none of them are here. It's a dark fae club. Just stay here and watch over Lila and keep an eye out for any trouble. She's taking a big risk letting me be here. And don't worry; she won't bother trying to engage you in the small talk you hate so much - she's rowing the same boat as you are. You can empathize with her! " He clapped her on the back of the shoulder in reassurance and winked, a suspicious conspiratorial grin in place, before dragging the still mute, and probably high, Choga off to the other side of the dance floor to met his supposed business contacts.

Tamsin let out a deep breath before taking a seat next to her still thankfully silent 'client.' She was still suspicious mischievous Mesmer, but her depression overrode her discretion and right now she only wanted a drink. Before she could open her mouth ask for one, the bartender placed a glass of clear liquor over ice in front of her. "Compliments of the house, top shelf Vodka, over ice. Let me know if you want anything else." He told her politely. She shook her head; he nodded once in acknowledgement, and returned to his duties.

The Valkyrie regarded the free drink for a moment before carefully sipping it. _Delicious. Who cares if it is drugged or poisoned? It's been awhile since I had a decent drink._ Suddenly remembering her equally miserable companion, she felt compelled to offer her thanks to her benefactor. "Thanks for the drink. You didn't have to buy it for me."

"It's all right." The woman said quietly, glancing at her, briefly, with sad eyes that were pale blue in color and reminded the Valkyrie of Kenzi's. She seemed not to want to engage in any further discussion. Tamsin took the opportunity to look over her companion more thoroughly. She was wearing a simple, yet stylish black dress that hugged her slim frame, her hair bobbed at the shoulders in the style of a 1920's flapper. She was cute, in a way, but not overly attractive and certainly not smoking hot like Bo.

They sat silently for about an hour, the bartender replenishing their drinks whenever they motioned for him. Tamsin gazed around the club from time to time, checking on Vex and his less intelligent protégé. They seemed to be doing well for themselves, easily fitting in and laughing with the jovial, fun-loving crowd. She was wondering how long they would have to be there. The lack of conversation she was, of late, so desirous was now making her oddly uneasy and restless.

Lila was drawn out of her own thoughts by the Valkyrie's sudden and constant fidgeting, and informed her gently, "You don't have to stay here, you know, if you don't want to. I'm fully aware that I'm not good company right now."

Tamsin was startled more by the fact that the woman spoke words so similar to the ones she used with Vex than the fact that the woman had suddenly started a conversation. She stopped playing with the buttons on her cuff and looked at her, "No, it's not that. I just…." She trailed off, not knowing what to say. She wasn't even sure what she was feeling right now. She could, however, tangibly feel the absolute despair rolling off of the other woman like an avalanche, crushing her under it and making it hard for her to breathe easily. It was making her uneasy, and she wanted it to stop. They looked into each other's eyes and the uncomfortable feeling increased to the point where Tamsin had to do something, anything, or she thought she might suffocate. "…dance with me?" she finally squeaked out, desperate to at least be moving with a purpose.

Her companion nodded solemnly, "OK."

The Valkyrie huffed out a breath in relief, and took the woman's hand, leading her to the dance floor. As if on cue, the DJ played a Nora Jones song about love and loss. Tamsin placed her hands lightly and awkwardly on the woman's waist, while she equally cautiously placed her arms around the Valkyrie. Lila seemed almost afraid of touching her partner, hands balled into fistfuls of the taller woman's shirt. They danced slowly and shyly at first, never looking at each other. The uncomfortable unease the Valkyrie was feeling slowly began to dissipate, and in response, she cautiously wrapped her hands around the other woman. When her partner responded by releasing her shirt and holding her, Tamsin pulled the woman closer, until their bodies were pressed together. She wanted to comfort her; she _needed_ to comfort her _._ The compulsion to show this stranger compassion was a mystery to Tamsin, all she knew is that it made her feel better to do so. The thought that she might be drugged or the other woman might be charming her somehow entered her mind, but she didn't feel out of sorts in any other way.

The slow song ended and a popular, boisterous rap song began much to the cheering crowds' delight. With the sudden change of moods and genres, it was obvious the DJ was taking requests. But the two heartbroken women danced on, slowly – oblivious to everything except the person in their arms. Tamsin felt a slightly familiar feeling, as if the woman was somehow feeding off her. But it wasn't exactly like with Bo, it was gentle and soothing instead of sudden and harsh. Nevertheless, she felt her energy slipping away all the same, and her curiosity prodded until she asked in a whisper against Lila's ear, "Are you _feeding_ off of me?"

The woman nodded against her chest. Tamsin tensed up with the confirmation of her suspicions, until Lila re-assured her in a whisper, "I won't hurt you. Please don't stop." They continued dancing like that for a few moments until Tamsin sighed deeply, and relaxing again, drew her in more tightly against her. She began rubbing a hand up and down Lila's back in a consoling gesture. It was late, and she was growing tired. She didn't want to be there anymore and somehow felt her partner didn't want to, either. It was at that moment she saw Vex and his inebriated business associate over Lila's shoulder about twenty feet away. The Mesmer said nothing, not that she would hear him over the music, and merely gestured that the pair were leaving. He gave her big grin and thumbs up before dragging the semi-conscious Choga towards the exit after she nodded in acknowledgement.

 _Finally_! the Valkyrie thought. Her assignment complete, Tamsin decided it was time to go. She stopped dancing, pulled away and looked into the eyes of her companion. She was obviously disappointed that their embrace had ended. And if she was being honest with herself, it was disappointing to her, too. "Uhhmm, I have to go now. Thanks for the dance." She said, trying to be polite. The feelings of despair from the woman and the unease it caused the Valkyrie reappeared, though not as intensely.

Lila looked at her feet and nodding, telling her sadly, "I understand."

Tamsin lifted the woman's chin to look her in the eyes, smiling at her "Let me take you home." She had no inclination to sleep with her, and had no idea why should would say that; it just felt _right._ It was as if she needed desperately to show the sad woman that someone cared about her; understood what she was feeling. And it felt _good_ to do so.

Lila smiled warmly in return. "OK."

The drive most a mostly silent affair, Tamsin asking which way to go, and Lila giving concise answers. Once they reached her upscale apartment building, a stone's throw from Evony's old office building, the Valkyrie surprised her passenger by insisting she park the truck so that she could escort Lila upstairs to her own door, safely. _Isn't that what 'good' people do? Besides, I'm supposed to be protecting her._ She thought. Once there, however, her unease and the fidgeting it caused reappeared as the club owner unlocked her door.

Lila turned back to her bodyguard, dismissing her for the evening, "Thank you, Tamsin. You've been so very kind to me." When her companion didn't reply or move to leave, she asked with sincere concern, "Are you alright? Do you want to come in for a minute?" Her intense pale blue eyes sought out Tamsin's green ones as the Valkyrie glanced everywhere but at the woman before her until their gazes finally met.

"Uhmmm, OK. Just for a minute." Once the door was shut and locked behind her, Tamsin quickly pulled the unsuspecting shorter woman into a tight embrace which was eagerly reciprocated. As she rested her head on top of Lila's, she sighed out an apology into the strawberry blonde hair, "I'm sorry." _I don't know if I'm sorry for imposing on her, or for her heartbreak, or my own. Maybe I'm sorry for too many things at this moment I just can't pin it down to one thing._ she thought to herself as the feeling from earlier in the evening began again. She didn't care. _She's feeding off me again. But damn, it feels good to hold someone and be held in return._

Lila broke the embrace, stepping away slowly. She seemed to be feeling much better, and apparently was done feeding. She looked into the Valkyrie's eyes again and smiling, said to her, "Thank you for this evening. It was lovely. Your obligation is over, and you can go now, if you're OK."

Tamsin took a deep breath and let it out before she whispered hopefully and honestly, "What if I'm not?" her eyes betrayed the pain she was feeling. She didn't know why she wasn't trying to hide her feelings from someone she had only just met, but she was willing to risk being rejected again if it meant she had a chance to be held again. _By Odin's hairy balls, I must be drunker than I know. What the fuck am I_ _ **doing**_ _?_

The mysterious woman gave her a knowing look and told her, "Then don't." before slowly taking her hand and leading her to her bedroom. Once the door was closed, she turned to the Valkyrie and regarded her for a moment. The other she placed a hand on Tamsin's check before informing her, "I don't know how anyone could hurt a creature so rare and beautiful."

"Because she **never** loved me, and never will! Because she thinks I can't _feel!"_ Tamsin chocked out involuntarily, her tears threatening to erupt again.

"Shhhh, shhh, it's alright. We both know that's not true. Why don't you lie down, and get some sleep. Things always look better in the morning light." The strange woman cooed to her soothingly as she stroked the Valkyrie's face, almost as if comforting a distraught child.

Tamsin closed her eyes and sighed again. She was tired, and somewhat drunk, but she knew deep down that thoughts of Bo and the accompanying feelings of pain would keep sleep from claiming her easily. When she opened her eyes again, and looked deeply into those of her companion she saw the compassion Lila felt for her. In that moment, she stopped thinking and acted on impulse, grabbing Lila's face with both hands and pulling her into a gentle, yet passionate kiss. She didn't even know if the club owner was attracted to women or the gender of her former lover. When the other woman responded, she pulled back in surprise and shock, dropping her hold on the other woman's face with the realization of what she had done without intention.

"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have done that. I should go." She said staring off at the wall. _Shit!_

"NO! No, don't be sorry." This time, Lila reached out and held her face in both hands, gently requesting her attention. Tamsin couldn't look her in the eyes as her tears began fall. "It's Ok. You can pretend I'm her for tonight. I don't mind. You can be with her as before, one last time."

The Valkyrie still didn't meet her gaze at the offer, "No, I don't want that." She whispered unable to mask the pain behind her words, or stop them from spilling from her lips in the first place. Her hands were at her sides clenching and unclenching in a vain attempt to stop herself from showing anymore vulnerability than she already had. Bo had been so _different_ in bed with Lauren than she had with her.

"Then tell me what you want from me, Tamsin. Tell me why you are still here, _please_." She entreated softly, pulling the Valkyrie's head towards her as she took a small step closer.

Green eyes snapped to lock onto the pale blue ones waiting patiently for them. "I wanted it to be like how she was with the one she loved!" The Valkyrie blurted out, her voice suddenly regaining strength as her resolve to hide her emotions surrendered.

Lila smiled, nodding in understanding while wiping her tears with the thumbs of both hands holding Tamsin's face. She moved forward to capture her quivering lips in a tender kiss. The shorter woman reached back and freed Tamsin's hair out of its confining bun as she pulled back only far enough to whisper against them "Show me!" before claiming them again.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Pimpin' Ain't Easy

Tamsin opened her eyes momentarily. She was slowly beginning to wake up - naked, on her back, to a strange noise in a strange room. It was a cell phone ringing, but the ringtone was unfamiliar; it wasn't her phone. She closed her eyes again once it ceased it's bleeping, waiting for sleep to reclaim her until the noise began again. As she reached out to grab the offending object with her free arm, she realized she had a strawberry blonde, equally naked, woman draped over her body. The woman's head and torso were pinning her left shoulder and arm to the bed and she had one arm laid over the Valkyrie's abdomen with her hand gripping her waist. It was unusual, to say the least, for her to fall asleep in the arms of another; she never even did that with Bo. Passed out in inebriation under someone was a more common occurrence, but still rare. She wasn't very trusting, by nature, and didn't like being in a physically vulnerable situation around other people _. What the fuck have I done? How emmbbbaaarressing! For fuck's sake, what do I say to her, or should I just chew my arm off now? This must be how Bo felt every morning waking up next to me! No, not true. She never held me in bed. Unless we were fucking, of course, and even then it was never so tender and loving in nature._

The Valkyrie nudged her still sleeping bed-mate with her still ringing cell phone, and the woman awoke suddenly. Bolting upright as if hit with a cattle prod, Lila snatched the phone away and answered it in one easy movement, "What is it?" she flamed at the caller, irritated. Whatever it was it must have been important, because Lila jumped out of bed and pulled out a robe from her closet one-handed and managed to shrug her way into it while still holding the phone to her ear. As she left the room and closed the door behind her, Tamsin thought that now would be a good time for her to leave, as well. _OK. Well, that was easy; she acted like I wasn't even here._ She gathered her clothes and went into the bathroom.

Once she was walked back into the bedroom, fully dressed and refreshed, she could hear that Lila was still engaged on the phone in the living room. And she was angry, also **loud.** "I don't care about some horse piss local micro-brew IPA!...No… **No**!...the storm is no excuse...act of God clause my ass! I'm going to put my foot so far up your ass you're going to need an act of God to remove it from your throat if you don't deliver according to contract!...nnnooo, I'm not going to talk to your lawyer. _My_ lawyer will show the pair of you how much better it would be if you both just go **fuck** yourselves, instead of trying to **fuck** me!"

 _Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde! What the hell is going on with this woman! She is a bitch on wheels! Uh, I have to do the walk of shame now! Just let me get the hell out of here without a scene, please! I don't know what I'll do if she breaks down in tears, or starts raging at_ _ **me**_ _. What the hell kind of fae is she anyways?_ It was quiet, once again, as the wide-eyed Valkyrie slowly walked into the living room. _Fuck my awkward life!_ "Uh, I guess I should be going now." she said to her bipolar companion, now standing in her robe searching through the contacts on her phone for another number. She seemed to have forgotten her houseguest, and was genuinely surprised by the interruption.

"Oh, sorry, about that." She smiled and gestured to her phone, "business." she smirked, "Speaking of which…" she opened a desk drawer and took out an envelope stuffed with what the Valkyre assumed to be cash. Walking over to Tamsin, she handed it to the confused taller blonde with her sincere gratitude, "Thank you for last night. You were everything I hoped you would be." She pecked her lightly on the cheek and smiled again before turning her attention back to her phone. Tamsin remained inert and mute at the thought that Vex had pimped her out as a call-girl. _Soooooo, I guess she's not going to get clingy or go off on me…because… she's just a John and I'm her hooker? Was that some weird role play, or something? How did she seduce me? Did Vex drug me with those toad pills?_ Noticing that her companion hadn't moved and appeared deep in thought she asked innocently, "Was there anything else?"

"Did you just pay me for _**sex**_?" Tamsin asked incredulously, voicing the question foremost on her mind with eyebrows furrowed. Her quip to Lauren about not being a cheap whore came to mind, and made her feel all the worse.

She didn't seem overly surprised that Tamsin had no idea of what she was being paid for, and gushed "No, dear, of course not! But rebound sex was a nice bonus; you are a _very_ generous lover! It's for allowing me to _feed_ off of you. You are so strong! It was incredible! It was all arranged, of course,.."

" **VEX**!" eyes wide, the tall blonde hissed out as if it were an epitaph. It was clear now that Lila was well aware the Mesmer had used subterfuge to orchestrate the 'deal,' and at the Valkyrie's exclamation, and moved to help the blonde exit more expeditiously. Tamsin allowed herself to be physically ushered out the apartment door by one arm, too gob smacked to offer any resistance as her apparent client tried to smooth over the situation. She certainly didn't want to try to handle an enraged Valkyrie hell bent on dealing out some vengeance, and babbled out her explanation.

"He is a little weasel, true, but don't be too hard on him. He really _does_ care about you in that tiny black heart of his and, in truth, what harm is there in it? He wanted to help you, too, and you enjoyed it didn't you? I've never known any of my kind to have been able to feed from a Valkyrie, they are always so cold. But you were so strong and beautiful, I jumped at the chance! Anyway think about it, I wouldn't mind using you again in the future, if you're willing." as she was about to shut the door, Tamsin stopped her.

"Wait!"

"Yes."

"What is it you feed off of?" she didn't feel as drained, like when after Bo fed from her, and she was genuinely curious.

Lila placed a hand gently on Tamsin's cheek, "Something you've always felt so very deeply, and yet still deny possessing." She smiled cryptically and shut the door.

* * *

Tamsin was fuming as she drove back to her motel room. She had trusted Vex, and it seems like he had used her. As she was locking the deadbolt and she saw the broken chain lock, she became even angrier at the reminder of Dyson's visit at Bo's behest. Digging out her phone charger, she plugged in her nearly dead cell phone. Her and Vex would have words, uninterrupted by a dying battery. She would feign ignorance think of an excuse to talke with him. Then she see if he was going to try to hide the fact that he had lied to her, and find out just what he was up to. First she needed a shower, but opted for a hot bath and a cold beer before she changed into more comfortable lounging clothes; she had no intention of leaving the room today until she gathered more information and had a firm plan of action. Once she had lain down on the bed to mull over whether or not to call Vex yet, he called her. She answered automatically, plans of playing dumb to coax information out of the Mesmer vanishing with the sight of his caller id picture on the phone.

"Vex, you fucking little shit! -"

"Tamsin!...Wait…Listen to me! I can explain! Before you start love, listen! If you can tell me honestly that you don't feel better today than you did yesterday, I'll let you beat me bloody. You have my blood oath!" he shouted her down to explain, then waited for an answer, but the line remained silent.

The Raven's voice was echoing through the Valkyrie's thoughts again, _"…learn what to take seriously, and laugh at everything else, including yourself."_ She didn't know if she could; Vex had lied to her and damaged her pride and tenuous trust in him. She mused that she could happily beat him to a bloody mess for what he did to her. "… _happiness is a skill, a talent…"_

Would it make her happy to punish him with pain? _No, it would make me feel guilty, because he's right. I_ _ **do**_ _feel better. He promised I would, and I'm sure I wouldn't have gone if he told me the whole truth. Maybe he_ _ **was**_ _trying to help me, in his own twisted way. And he didn't hurt me as much as Bo did._ The thought finally dawned on Tamsin that she had always lashed out in anger when she was hurt in order to keep others from seeing her vulnerability. She had always felt guilty afterwards, and she realized that hurting Vex now would only make her feel worse. They had all seen the depth of her emotions for themselves, so there was no sense in trying to hide their existence anymore – from them, or more importantly, from herself. _The Genie is already out of the bottle. Still, I need to set boundaries. That_ _ **is**_ _serious business._

The Mesmer was beginning to think she had hung up on him and was now seeking him out for the promised retribution involving copious amounts of bodily harm. He was considering the option of begging the succubus to grant him sanctuary from the vengeful Valkyrie when heard her start laughing uncontrollably. "Did you take some Choga pills or something?" he questioned.

She calmed down enough to tell him seriously, "No, no, you're right. I do feel better. But that doesn't mean I forgive you for pimping me like a street walker." She concluded with an angry shout of accusation.

"How so! All you did was let her hold you and feed off your empathy. You didn't even shag her!" Vex defended himself, vehemently.

 _Empathy! She fed off of empathy – she said it was something I denied I could feel. I don't feel empathy for people, especially a complete stranger!_ Tamsin let a noise somewhere between a whine and a groan of pain, her anger now dissolved at the realization that ending up sleeping with the 'client' was of her own doing and never part of the deal. Her 'client' had, after all, attempted to dismiss her after she had finished feeding. Staying with her was at her own desire.

"You **did** do, didn't you?! Woooooo! You little minx! Bravo, love, bravo! She is not very promiscuous you know! How'd you get that frigid bitch to let you touch her goodies?"

"I don't know, it just _happened!_ It just…it felt so good to hold her. What did she do to me?" Tamsin asked in a whisper.

"Nothing, deary, nothing. She's not a sex demon; she can't thrall you. Even strangers will hold each other in the midst of shared tragedy and comfort each other. That's all. Haven't you even wondered why people do that? You were both hurting, and you wanted to help her. And it seems that she wanted to help _you._ It feels good to hold someone when you feel low. You've been playing the cold bitch for so long you just didn't realize it; and when you did, you thought you could only feel that way while wrapped around the succu-bunny. Who cares fuck all for you, yet you thought she did do because she shows empathy for all and sundry"

"OK, fair enough. But I don't understand why it had to be me; there were lots of fae at the club!" the blonde was irked a bit by the mention of the succubus, but not by being called a cold bitch. It was true enough – she was a bitch. Everybody knew that, and she was proud of it. But still, she missed being held by Bo, no matter how rare the occasion, and the reminder that she never would be again hurt.

"It's hard for her to find a feed; humans are too weak and dark fae aren't especially known for being empathetic. You can't put on empathy like a cheap suit. You have to _feel_ it. I've told Lila a million times she should have chosen the light. Besides, everyone that knows her _at all_ doesn't have much sympathy, let alone empathy for her." Vex explained.

"You really suck at reading people! I'm not an empathetic person, Vex – ask, I don't know, _anybody_ that knows me!" the Valkyrie denied. It couldn't be true, she wasn't hacking off on the Mesmer's claim that the woman fed off of empathy.

Vex was offended, "Bollocks! A con man is the _expert_ at reading people, or he ends up dead! So tell, me why is it that you are uncomfortable and hate to be around people who are crying or mourning? Or despise people who want to talk about their feelings?"

"Because I hate weakness. I _am_ a bad-ass." The Valkyrie smirked, her pride growing.

"You are, you are every bit of that. But did you ever hear the saying people don't get on because they are too much alike? Well, you like proud, strong people, and are attracted to them because you are proud of being a tough bitch. But when you see a hot mess in tears because of their vulnerability, you hate it because know because you know in truth that you are vulnerable, too, and not proud of that. So you act such a heartless bitch. Because you actually do have a heart, and it is very fragile. Case in point – your present situation." Vex informed her, his voice now serious – and oddly, sad.

"Vex, do you even listen to yourself? You are soooo full of shit, and you have no idea what the fuck you are talking about." She was beginning to think he was just trying to gloss over his betrayal of her, and the thought brought along with it the anger she was feeling when she answered his call.

The Mesmer sighed before explaining, "I do, believe me, I do know from _experience_. Others, and my own. I watched it happen to Evony. She wasn't always the wicked bitch of the dark fae, you know. She was a good person, who was hurt by love. I helped her, but I can't go into detail – blood oath and so forth. You'll have to trust me. The fact that she always let me get away with all the shit I pulled should be proof enough that I'm telling the truth. And I've had my own heart ripped to shreds a time or two, you know that."

"I see. She thought, _It does seem true. I hate being vulnerable. But I_ _ **am.**_ _Being empathetic to a vulnerable person would mean I know how it feels._ before grilling her 'pimp' further, "And what about that bullshit that Lila's business was suffering, Vex? It seemed fine to me!" She wasn't letting him off the hook that easily; it wasn't in her nature to just let it go without getting to the bottom of the issue.

"Well, it would have done if she didn't feed and heal her heartbreak so she could function like a business woman needs to! You saw what a hot mess she was! She can't just get over it like us! She has to _feed_ to heal!"

Tamsin thought of the sudden change in the woman's attitude after she woke up, and it seemed a logical enough explanation. "I'm not over it. And I wish it were that easy for me." She said sadly, sighing.

Vex sullenly replied, suddenly remembering his own situation, "Don't we all! Love certainly isn't a picnic for us is it?"

Tamsin answered automatically, "No, it's not a picnic. It's a verb."

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean Tammsy?"

She ignored his new, and irksome, nickname for her as the answer came to her surprisingly easily "It means love isn't a thing you can possess or discard at will. It's something you do or don't, without having any control over when you start or stop, no matter how much it hurts you."

He sighed at her insight, "Yeah. That's the painful truth, isn't it? So tell me, how do you know so much about love if you are such a newb at it?"

"A little birdie told me." she said softly.

* * *

Now that Tamsin had aired things out between her and Vex, she began to mull over her future plans. She didn't want to rot away the rest of her life in a motel room with the Mesmer and his nefarious associates as her only friends. Vex had asked her to do another 'job' for him tonight, a simple one he laughingly assured her, an honest body guarding stint at another club and various other destinations. She demanded a blood oath after the shenanigans he pulled on her the last time, which he cheerfully gave her. He was dusting himself off and moving on with his life after losing everything and loving someone he can never have. She decided to do the same, now that he assured her that being heartbroken for the very first time wasn't the end of the world.

But she didn't want to live without Bo in her life, either. She meant what she had told the succubus in Valhalla. But there was no way she could go back to the clubhouse, for so many reasons. _Because if I hate the vulnerability in myself – Bo most certainly hates the evil she is capable of, evil she sees in me. But I_ _ **do**_ _love her, whether she believes it or not. Even if Bo never loves me, or shows me any kindness, I will always love her. But I won't become Evony; I won't end up in Tartarus over this._

She didn't want to be Vex's guard dog for the rest of her last life, but right now, it was a job and that was enough. He was, in truth, the only person who truly understood her vulnerability and made her needs a priority right now, even if he did gain from helping her. _At least he was honest about_ _ **that.**_ she thought. After her rebirth, her sole purpose had been to be with Bo. And since that was out of the question, anything was better than rendering full liquor bottles into empty ones alone in a cheap motel room.

Tamsin poured herself a shot of the good tequila and drank it down quickly before musing over how much the mysterious outer realm messenger she met yesterday morning had been right about her feelings. Now that Vex had independently corroborated those theories, she was re-thinking the purpose of the Raven's warning. It was something she hadn't thought about since immediately following their meeting. The Valkyrie had concluded she was being watched, for betraying Freya yet again. She had been convinced that the Raven knew about the doctor's research and had been too concerned with protecting Lauren and Bo from the wrath of Valhalla to consider another possibility. _Maybe that bitch was working for Hades, and it wasn't a warning, but a threat to stop me from protecting Bo from her father._ _She did know about the music box. Maybe I_ _ **need**_ _to be at the party to keep her from joining with him and giving in to the darkness within her. He the very epitome of evil, and I don't know if she understands that with her obsession with stopping Zues. If I truly love Bo, I have to be what Bo_ _ **needs**_ _me to be and not what Bo_ _ **wants**_ _me to be. And I can't run away to make it easier for me, because if something happens I could have stopped it will make me feel worse. She'll never understand that what I am doing is out of love for her, but I can't stop loving her - no matter how much I wish I could._ The Valkyrie grabbed the larger glass to pour herself a second 'shot' that took a quarter of the bottle to fill.

"Fuck it! I'm going to shop for dress that will impress!" she said aloud before draining her glass in one long gulp and changing out of her sweat pants and tee shirt.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: How Did She Even Get in Here?

It wasn't easy to find an evening gown in such a short amount of time, but she managed. And when Tamsin did find one that could be altered in time, it wasn't exactly her to her liking. Although it did showcase her muscular back and shoulders in way that was sure to impress. The frumpy and dumpy middle-aged seamstress assured her by looking her straight in the eyes over her reading glasses on a chain that she could make the minor alterations to its fit by first thing the next morning. But she didn't have enough time to comply with the request to remove the hideous roses that ran down one shoulder. The dress had been made for a bride's maid who canceled the contract as the wedding was now off. _Love stinks,_ Tamsin thought, _and not just for me. If this thing were black instead of white, it would make me look like I'm attending my own funeral. Which, I guess it very well could be._

On her way out of the door, in a rush to get ready for her job for the evening, she literally bumped into her former employer. "Sorry, my fault." She said automatically before stepping around the former Morrigan and began walking briskly back to her truck, which Vex had laughingly christened 'Shitty Shitty Bang Bang' in mocking reference to the old children's movie. She knew Evony hated her; the feeling was mutual, and so thought that would be the end of their surprise encounter in the posh shopping district.

Evony, however, apparently saw their meeting as a serendipitous opportunity to use Tamsin to her own advantage. The former Morrigan began to follow after the Valkyrie, demanding she rectify her past betrayal of her employer, and informing her she knew Tamsin had a falling out with the 'Happy Sunshine Gang.' She coldly reminded her that she had warned the blonde that they would never fully accept her as one of them. But the Valkyrie didn't turn around or even slow down, causing Evony to scuttle awkwardly after her in her stylish heels, her arms gesturing to convey her conviction despite the fact that the other woman wasn't even looking at her.

She continued her appeal when the Valkyrie didn't respond; explaining how she suspected Dr. Lewis wasn't working on making her fae again, and how she needed Tamsin to spy for her and possibly use what influence she had with the gang to persuade Lauren that curing the former Morrigan would be in her best interests. By the time Tamsin had gotten into her truck and slammed the door, Evony still hadn't given up and waited with crossed arms as the battered truck clicked briefly before the starter whined, but failed to turn the engine over.

"Shit!" the Valkyrie exclaimed, still not addressing Evony directly. She turned the ignition to the 'off' position for a minute, and rolled the window down to give the brunette the answer she was waiting for in order to get rid of her. Evony took the opportunity, though, to speak first.

"You know, I _would_ provide you with a new car, if you were in my employ once again."

Tamsin laughed scornfully her pathetic attempt to regain her allegiance, "I know exactly how you want me to _persuade_ Lauren to help you, and I'm not going to do it. I'm done doing other people's dirty work. And in case you didn't notice, I prefer trucks." After her final answer, she attempted to start the engine again, which thankfully sprang to life. "Go fuck yourself, Evony." She couldn't help but add with a smirk as she drove off.

* * *

That evening, while Tamsin was out working for Vex and Bo went out shopping for sex. Her hunger for chi, that had been so casually satisfied daily by the Valkyrie, now returned with a vengeance in the blonde's self-imposed absence. Dyson hadn't offered when she had dropped subtle hints that she was in need of a feed, and she didn't want to press him on it. Both he and Lauren were at the Dal pouring over ancient tomes with Trick in order to prepare for the party tomorrow. She had excused herself, saying she was tired. Even though everyone knew what she really meant, none of them had brought it up as they bid her good night.

If clubbing was tantamount to grocery shopping for a succubus, then the dark fae club she chose was the junk food isle. She didn't have time for gourmet or hearty home cooked – she needed grab and go, high on calories and short on prep time. She had been there before, when she and Lauren were still officially dating. It had always been easy to pick up an eager hook-up whose intentions for being there weren't to find 'Ms. Right,' but 'Ms. Right _Now_.' There was one problem, however – the long line at the door. She didn't want to have to expend any energy charming her way into the club and become hungrier than she already was, but there was no way she was going to wait in line. Once she walked closer, she saw it was guarded by a familiar tattooed mountain of a bouncer standing at the entrance with crossed arms.

"Bruce!" she greeted him with an enthusiastic smile, "Hey, it's good to see you! Can you let me in?"

'Bruce' scowled at her in return, before telling her "It's Steve. And the Club's full. There is a cover charge, and a line. Get to the back of it." She remembered that Kenzi had told her Bruce had brothers, but didn't realize they were identical. She fell back on plan 'B' and succu-charmed him into letting her in, earning the vociferous derision of the eager patrons still in line.

The club was dark, save the bars and dance floor, and the music was too loud to hold a conversation without shouting. But this wasn't a place people came to talk and deepen their relationships with each other – it was a meat market. The succubus took a deep breath and searched for the strongest auras of sexual energy in the club. It was then the revelers on the dance floor spontaneously shouted a lyric along with the rap song playing "Bend over to the front, and touch your toes!" Oh yeah, dance floor it is.

But before she could move, a man wearing a club employee shirt stepped in front of her shouting "Smile!" and took her picture with a digital camera. As he checked the image he grinned at her, "Good one, nice!"

"The Hell!" Bo shouted arms wide in surprise at the camera man. He jerked his head at the huge video screen behind the DJ that displayed candid shots from the partiers at the club before he hurried off. She looked at the screen now, instead of the people, and what it displayed stopped her in her tracks.

As the crowd shouted another line from the song, an image of Tamsin and Vex was displayed for the enjoyment of all as the revelers shouted "We want a lady in the street, but a **freak** in the bed!" Facing the camera, mouth wide open, tongue hanging out, Vex had one arm around Tamsin's shoulder, the other giving the devil horns gesture. The Valkyrie was facing the Mesmer, however, obviously less amused and giving him a look that was a cross between disgust and disbelief, her eyebrows furrowed and mouth drawn tight in a scowl. The added caption, 'She's just not that into you, dude!' drew laughter from a few that were watching near her. Suspicious as to what her former roommate was doing with the infamous Mesmer, and worried it might be treacherous in its intent, Bo headed to back of the club near the restrooms since that was the area the picture had been taken.

The noise from the music and crowd weren't nearly as loud in the corner, and that would make it easier to get to the bottom of what was going on between the two dark fae. She didn't see the Valkyrie, but Vex was still there, talking earnestly with a man in an expensive suit, one hand on his shoulder. But before she could interrupt, Choga stepped in front of her much like he had on the night of the Yule party at the clubhouse. "Hey momma, Choga's got a new gig. You wanna try?" She almost didn't recognize him in the suit he was wearing, but his manner of speaking was unmistakable.

"No. I'm not here to get high, Choga!" she shot back angrily.

"Well, I can take care of your other needs, too. Know what I'm sayin'?" he boldly propositioned her.

"Beat it!" she said through clenched teeth, and the anger he read in her expression told him it would be best to drop the whole thing and move on, which he did. The thought of having to resort to feeding off of Choga disgusted her.

Once the toad fae had slunk away, but not far enough away to please the succubus, Vex took notice of her presence and addressed her before she had a chance to interrogate him or further intimidate his associate. "Bo, how very _lovely_ to see you! Now, tell me, where are you hiding that fine lady doctor of yours? I thought you two were attached at the hip! Or is your attachment –"

"What are you doing here Vex?" Bo shot back crossing her arms and effectively shutting down his teasing of her succubus nature.

He gave her an incredulous look in return, "Me? It's a dark fae club. What are _you_ doing here? Or have you given in and accepted that you are one of us?" At that moment, a red cap with his shoulders hunched over and head down excused himself to move past them, briefly catching Vex's eye. He responded by faking a step towards the fae with his fist clenched. Tamsin had 'encouraged' him and his buddies to leave the Mesmer alone earlier, and it worked like a charm. The red cap scampered off into the men's room like a rabbit with a coyote on its heels. The Valkyrie did have a vicious reputation, and word spread quickly that Vex was under her protection. Vex knew that most people would assume he was in the good graces of the supposedly 'unaligned' succubus now, as well, since she had taken Tamsin in after her rebirth. It was a win-win situation to have Bo suddenly show up and confirm the mistaken suspicions of his clueless rivals. He was giggling gleefully at his good fortune, watching the red cap disappear when she spoke again.

"I will **never** be one of you!" Bo denied, and was getting upset at his casual reference to her unfortunate contract with the dark fae.

Turning back to face her, and accurately reading her mood, he told her honestly in a soothing tone, "Look, I'm here to try to make some business deals and get my own club again. That's all. And whether you believe it or not, Kenzi was my friend, I wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt her family."

Bo was put off by the sudden sincerity of the Mesmer. At least it seemed honest. But there were more glaring questions she needed answers to "Why is Tamsin here with you? And where is she now?"

He gave her an angry look before answering, once again reverting back to his antagonistic behavior, "None of your business, and I don't know. I don't **own** her; she's not a dog I can shock into obedience with an electronic collar! And why do you care, anyway?" When she didn't have a ready answer for that, he dismissed her before joining the business suit who was beckoning to him. "She's here, somewhere," he motioned vaguely to the dance floor before offering her the help she needed, "look for the cowboy, you can't miss him. Sticks out like a sore thumb in this place." He left her, collecting the petulant Choga, and followed the suit off into the crowd.

The music was much louder in front the speakers facing the dance floor, and the song playing was the annoying song about selfies that both the succubus and the Valkyrie loathed. But the lyrics spoken by a self-absorbed party girl seemed to fit the description of the clientele of the club perfectly, and they had responded by jumping up and down to the driving beat on the dance floor. She saw a straw cowboy hat held down by its wearer's hand, bobbing up and down across the dance floor, and made her way towards it. During the song's crescendo, the lights over the dance floor went out save for the ever increasing strobe, driven by the drumbeat. She found the Cowboy in the flashing light, a real cowboy. And he was the real deal judging by his faded yet neatly pressed Wrangler cowboy-cut jeans with a prominent Skoal ring, and scuffed, spur-scarred roper boots. Well built and ruggedly handsome, he was dancing, if you could call it that. Dancing with _her._

As the DJ mixed the song to transition to another with the last 'selfie,' the dancers stopped hopping to the beat and to get closer to each other. The beat of the rap song was slower, but heavy on the bass and intense guitar riffs sampled old songs by Queen. Not realizing she was being watched, Tamsin laughed with her partner, and turned her back to him as she began to undulate in front of him to the rhythm of the music as he watched. The aura between them was hands down the most intense on the dance floor. As the Valkyrie put one hand in her golden hair, he put one of his own on her waist to guide her closer to him as they moved together with the music.

Dyson had told her that Tamsin was too heartbroken and distraught to help them right now. She needed time to heal, he had told her, and refused to try to speak with her again about coming to the Zues' party. They had argued, Bo claiming the Valkyrie wasn't hurt, just angry at her, and demanded to know where she was so that she could confront her in person. Dyson vehemently refused and Trick sided with him, telling her to let it go. But now, in front of her very eyes, was the proof of her suspicions. Tamsin didn't seem to have a care in the world, and playfully teased her dance partner with her blatantly sexual grinding as the strobe lit her up during the bridge of the song. She had never seen the Valkyrie act so sexually provocative before, with anyone. It was hypnotizing.

"Rock with me, uh!.. Guitar please."

Her grin faded into a longing expression as soon as she saw the blue eyes of the succubus staring at her. She didn't break eye contact, though, or stop her lurid dance moves as Bo moved slowly towards her.

"I'm egoistical."

The succubus thought she might run off, but she didn't. She was acting as if the brunette wasn't even there although their gazes were locked. She bit her lower lip as cowboy put his other hand on her waist and pulled her even closer.

"I'm a narcissist."

The Valkyrie removed the hand from her hair, moving it sensually down the front of her body, well aware of the effect her actions were having on the hungry succubus as well as the man pressed against her as her watched her over her shoulder. Tamsin paid him no attention and didn't break out of the staring contest, her aura burning ever brighter as the glowing blue eyes bored into hers.

As the succubus drew nearer, she felt certain that the Valkyrie never loved her; it was only her pride that hurt because Lauren superseded her in Bo's affections. The brunette, lost in her fog of hunger and desire, believed the Valkyrie was inviting her to join in a threesome. It had been a long time since she had a threeway. She had considered, at the time, inviting the Valkyrie to join her with Tad, or whatever his name was, after Tamsin had finished eating. But Mark burst into the clubhouse, and the opportunity was lost.

"Huh, I'm a big deal!"

The blonde's sensual expression bloomed into a self-satisfied smirk with the lyric and lustful expression on Bo's face. She finally rolled her eyes away from the sex demon not fifteen feet away from her and closing. She turned instead to face the cowboy, removing his hat and placing it on her own head with a laugh. Bo, being raised country, knew what that meant. The cowboy was _Tamsin's;_ this wasn't an attempt at seducing the succubus - the Valkyrie was deliberately marking her territory in front of Bo. She hurried towards the pair though the other dancers, intent on taking either one – or preferably both, of them tonight. Now that Tamsin appeared to be back to her old self, there was no reason for her not to let Bo feed off of her other than the Valkyrie's stubborn pride which Bo felt confident she could overcome with seduction. She lost sight of them momentarily as a group of drunken frat boys in matching shirts shoved their way across the dance floor in front of her, and when she saw the cowboy again, Tamsin had vanished, as had cowboy's hat and sexual energy. When she reached him she knew exactly what had happened. He was confused and anxious and ignored her shouted questions, before leaving the dance floor altogether wordlessly and in a sudden rush.

"I want it all… _and want it right NOW_!" the rapper vehemently informed the listener.

" **Shit**!" Frustrated, Bo sought answers before grabbing some take-out. She searched for the Choga again by the restrooms. That was the place his type of business was conducted, after all. And he was there, alone this time. "Choga, where's Vex and Tamsin."

Choga seemed contrite after their last encounter and answered politely, "Oh, hi Bo. He's taking a p-….I mean, he's using the facilities." He seemed pleased with himself that he had remembered the proper answer instead of giving the more vulgar one that immediately sprang to mind, but didn't mention the Valkyrie.

The Mesmer appeared as if summoned, out of the door to the men's room. "What the flying fuck do you want _now_?" he asked noting the frustration in the succubus' demeanor. "I already **told** you how to find her!"

"I did find her, but she took off before I could talk to her. Who was that man, and what was he doing with her?" She was growing suspicious, Vex could be very devious – and so could Tamsin.

Both the Mesmer and Choga spit out a laugh between their tightly clenched lips at the question. She realized how ridiculous it would seem to them if they didn't know about her suspicions of more nefarious motives. "What do you _think_ he was doing? What does anybody _want_ in a place like this? But to answer your question: He's a piece of ass, OK, if I have to spell it out for you! What, are you _jealous,_ or just plain _stupid_ , eh _?_ " Vex laughingly quipped.

A muscle-bound gym rat interrupted, much to Bo's relief as her prey found her instead vice versa. The Mesmer and his companion giggled as the man in cargo shorts and flip-flops attempts at seduction involved more running down the list of his own attributes than attempting to flatter the brunette. Still, Bo feigned interest and indulged him, flirting along. It was fast food, anyway, and she was hungry and frustrated after the display Tamsin had put on for her. With a glare in parting at Vex and Choga, who were wide-eyed and grinning at her, she suggested they leave. Walking off to the exit as he explained his "gains" and how "swoll" he was she decided to take him in the car and not bother trying to drag him to the clubhouse. She didn't think she could stand to be in his company that long.

"Hey, what'd I miss?' Tamsin had reappeared again, wearing the well-worn straw cowboy hat. The owner of the headgear was nowhere in sight. She had been outside; trying to calm her shaking body and waiting in the shadows to make sure Bo had left for good before returning. She couldn't trust herself around the brunette right now, not while the succubus was too desperately in need of sex to think straight. She almost had given in to Bo's desires, until the lust-filled blue eyes morphed into a wholly predatory gaze. Bo regarded her as _food_ at that moment, nothing more, and that had spurred her pride into taking control. Tamsin was moving forward with her life, she didn't want to take a step backwards.

"Oh, nothing you couldn't see on National Geographic, deary! Just a succubus stalking her prey in her natural environment. And speaking of which, I thought you had a bull to ride yourslf?" Vex drawled.

She groaned, "Aaawwaaaa, I had to throw that one back. You know, when you are reeling in a salmon and a grizzly bear shows up, you just have to just drop your pole and leave or you'll both end up as dinner. Although I took pity on him, and made sure he got away, too."

"You cock-blocked **her!** Oh Tammsy, there is hope for you after all! And having blue balls also explains why she was such a bitch and left with 'roid boy. Talk about bottom feeding!" They laughed at her winding up the succubus for fun, until he thought of something else he felt compelled to mention. He could see that she was visibly shaken by the unexpected encounter with her love and queried, "You could have had her tonight, you know. I could see it in her eyes. Why didn't you?"

"I can't have her Vex, not in the way I need her. I won't be her Freak in the bed while Lauren is her Lady in the sheets. She's made her decision and I've made mine. I'm not going to be a battery charger for her. I just can't Vex, even though I want to so much it hurts." Tamsin's mood fell somewhat at the admission.

He looked at her with compassion, but still curious prompted, "Dyson does it all the time. He doesn't seem to have a problem with it."

Tamsin hung her head for a moment before looking up at him again, "I'm not like Dyson. They both know that 'no strings attached' agreement is bullshit. I can't bring myself to lie about feeling nothing when she holds me. And the fact that she would have lie to herself in order to believe I didn't feel anything for her in bed isn't worth the opportunity of holding her ever again. There are too many lies and secrets between us all, Vex. I'm not going to add to the tally anymore."

He put a consoling arm around her shoulder, which she attempted half-heartedly to shrug off. Vex was insistent, and told her consolingly, "It's about time you got your balls back Tamsin. The pain will always stay with you, but it will fade over time, like a scar, believe me. I'm proud of you, you did the right thing." He let her go, and then looked around at the thinning crowd. It was getting late. "Well, it's almost last call – let's have some _fun!_ "

She brightened up a bit, and smiled, "Alright!"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: I'm off to the Rodeo

Early the next morning, Dyson decided to pay Tamsin another visit. He didn't need to break in this time, though – she was already in her truck which was stubbornly refusing to start. Standing outside the driver's window with his arms crossed and a curious expression, he waited calmly for her to acknowledge him. But right now, she was hitting the dashboard and cursing – cursing her bad luck, Ford Motor Company, and his presence at this most inopportune time. Out of curses, for the moment, she sighed and popped the hood latch before opening the door and exiting the truck. "Need a lift?" the shifter smugly asked her. Bo had told him about seeing Tamsin in the club, acting care-free and fun-loving as she had been before her re-birth. He couldn't believe his assessment of her mood was wrong, and decided to check on her himself. Now he had seen her acting more in character, he would take the opportunity to try again to bring her back to the gang.

"No thanks, I got this." She replied curtly as she opened the hood and looked inside.

He followed her to the front of the truck as she peered into the engine bay. "Do you even know what you are doing?" he asked jokingly.

"Do you?" she shot back, seriously, looking him in the eyes, silently telling him she wasn't talking auto mechanics. She had a feeling the succubus might have mentioned seeing her the night before, and gave him a chance to come clean to her about the real reason for his visit.

"Tamsin, I want to help you!" he wasn't talking about the truck either, judging by his urgent, yet sincere statement.

"OK, Dyson. Thank you." She smiled warmly at him, and he returned her smile. He opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted him with a command, "Go turn the ignition to the 'start' position when I tell you."

He was surprised by her get-right-down-to-business attitude, but wasn't going to put off trying to convince her to help out at the party. He couldn't let her drive off before he got a chance to talk with her about it. "Tamsin, listen to me, there is something important to the whole colony we need you – "

"You don't need me Dyson, you made that clear. She doesn't need me, either, she made _that_ clear. Are you going to actually help _me_ , or are you just going to keep trying to convince me to help _her_?" she was angry now, as he had backed off his stated desire to help her. _I can't believe this fucking guy! Dyson can't even do one simple fucking thing for me without Bo's say so! Poor bastard._

He frowned at the realization that he had fucked up again in his desperation to convince her to go to the party. He _was_ right; she was still extremely hurt, but she wasn't going to let any of them see her vulnerability ever again. She had been there for Kenzi, she had been there for him, and she had been there for Bo when they needed her. But they had failed to recognize how much she had needed them and they had instead made Bo's desires their priority, as always. He nodded his assent, and acquiesced to her request. She stayed under the hood as he turned the key, the truck not even clicking in response. Tamsin shouted for him to stop, and asked him for the keys. She opened the tool box and rummaged around in it as he spoke once again. "It could be the battery." He offered, trying in vain to finally help as he had promised.

"Battery's fine." she said tersely, as she pushed past him and placed the key back into the ignition. She turned it 'on' and put the truck in neutral.

"Do you need me to – " he began.

"I don't need you anymore Dyson. Thanks for your help." She smirked as she went back to the engine bay with two large screwdrivers. He watched as she placed one on each terminal on the sides of solenoid, then crossed them and touched their shafts together. An arc, a spark, and then the starter whirred and the engine responded by coming to life. "Yeah, baby! In your _face!"_ she was laughing at her own resourcefulness, and beaming with pride. She closed the hood and climbed into the cab tossing the tools on the floorboard. He had thought she would just leave, but she didn't. Instead, she rolled the window down to talk with the shifter. "Told you I got this!" she boasted and scrunched her nose.

"Yeah. Yeah, you did." He sadly agreed.

She smiled again with real warmth in her eyes. "It's alright, Dyson. I'm not mad at you. Bo accepted your pledge of fealty, but she rejected mine. I understand how you feel - but she can't expect me to obey her after that. Serious shit is going to go down soon, and what Bo wants might not always be what's best for her, or any of us. Just think about it first, before you blindly go along with whatever she asks of you, OK?"

Dyson thought about what she said for a moment. It was clear she wasn't just speaking strategy for battling Zeus and Hera, but also his ham-fisted attempt to draw her back to Bo while she felt so crushed by her rejection. "I will. But tell me one thing: Where are you going?"

"Auto parts store, duh! I'll see you later. Call me!" She put the truck in gear and drove away, watching to make sure he wasn't following her – he wasn't. She didn't want him to know she was going to the party yet – her pride couldn't take it.

* * *

After making the simple repair at the parts store, she washed her filthy hands in the restroom and swung by to pick up her dress. It was ready, as promised. While she was getting ready for the party, Vex called. He had another job for her tonight, but she had other plans. "What could you possibly have to do that would be more fun than coming out with me?" the Mesmer questioned.

"It's…I just have something I need to do tonight. I'm sorry. Maybe next time." She explained.

"What? Drink yourself stupid and pine away for the succu-bitch? C'mon Tammsy, I thought you were over that stage." Vex said, in a mockingly sorrowful voice. But he was afraid he might already know what the Valkyrie was really up to.

"No, it's not that. It's…important, Vex."

"Nnnnnooo, Tamsin, no! Don't you do it!" he said with conviction.

"Do what?"

"You **know** what! Don't go to that party, Tamsin! It's dangerous, and she doesn't give a toss for you. She wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire!" His concern for her showed in his tone.

Tamsin laughed at the overly dramatic Mesmer. "I'm sure she _would_ piss on me if I was on fire! Seriously, you need to stop with the over-exaggerations, Vex. She cares about people, you know that. I think she even cares about you."

"She certainly has a strange, sadistic way of showing it." He growled.

"Guess you're right about that. But I have to go, Vex, and not because she or Dyson asked me to. You'll have to take my word for it, but believe me I **do**. I still love her, and it's my fault this all happened. I need to clean up the mess I made. I'm going and that's all there is to say about it." Her tone told him she was not going to be convinced otherwise.

He scoffed before saying in resignation, "Fine, but be careful. And keep an eye on Mark for me." He hung up abruptly.

* * *

She left early, wanting to get there before any of the others. When she got to the parking garage of Zeus' apartment building, she waited impatiently for the distracted attendant to lift the gate, since she didn't have an access code. He had the radio turned up, and was singing along with enthusiasm, "cheap shades and a tattoo, and a Yoo Hoo bo-"Right before she was going to honk the horn, he realized she was waiting and quickly slid open the window to the kiosk, a look of embarrassment and horror at screwing up on the job all over his face.

The scolding Tamsin was about to unleash upon the hapless attendant died on her lips as it suddenly struck her how strange a sight she must be right now. She was wearing an evening dress sitting behind the wheel of a battered old truck, equally battered cowboy hat on the dash and tools lying on the passenger floorboard. Before he could attempt to apologize, she sang along with the tune "Perfect song on the radio…" and he grinned while he joined in, "Sing along 'cause it's one we know!" They both laughed at the ridiculous situation, and she showed the man her invitation. He informed her she was early, as well as apologize for making her wait. She explained her need to leave early because of her unreliable truck, which was partially true. He accepted the answer and gave her a guest access card that would allow her to use the elevator to the penthouse, to be returned to him when she left. As she took it, she ran her fingers across his hand, and smiled warmly. "Thank you." She winked as he opened the gate, and then drove off to find a parking space. _He made me laugh. I needed that, especially since it might be the last time that I ever will._

* * *

Although she was early, she wasn't the first guest to arrive. There were a scant few other fae there, waiting patiently while the servers finished setting up the party. Tamsin wasn't patient, however, and poured herself to a glass of champagne from a counter that served as the bar without waiting for the servers to offer. The glare she received from the nearest one was returned with a more menacing one of her own, head tilted to one side. _Guess the drinking lamp hasn't been lit yet. Fuck it. I'm thirsty._ The woman bolted away without saying a word. She walked around the apartment, mapping the layout and taking in the macabre décor. _What the fuck? Black Balloons? Bitch has a twisted sense of humor. Whatever, guess I do, too._

"Quit you waitressing job, did you? Sorry, we have all the help we need right now." Heratio, or Hera sarcastically quipped with his arms crossed.

She looked at him, surprised at his sudden appearance and taunting of her. _Serving wench must have ratted me out to daddy._ she thought. " _You_ asked _me_ to be here. I'm thirsty. Deal with it." She smirked as she turned her back on him.

He, or she, or whatever, apparently wasn't confronting her out of concern for her lack of social graces and proceeded to get right to the heat of the matter of import. "Where is the succubus? Surely you wouldn't have come here without her." Hera inquired smarmy tone, as if it was an irrefutable fact that the two of them were inseparable.

Before turning back to him, she poured herself another over-filled glass of champagne and swallowed it in one gulp to push down to pain his words had flared up within her. She didn't expect the conversation to go in this direction. "She's not my mother. I can come and go as I please." she spat out. Her acrid tone and change in attitude clued Hera in on the fact that there may be trouble in the paradise that was Bo's happy family.

"Mother, no. That's certainly not the word I would have used." He explained sarcastically.

Tamsin narrowed her eyes as she looked at him and bit back the snotty retort she was about to shoot back in a hail of profanity. _He is sweating me for information, not concerned about my behavior. And I'd bet my bottom dollar he already knows far more than he is saying._ She thought, forcing herself to calm down. "Bo likes to be fashionably late. I like to be unfashionably early. She'll be here." She assured him in a neutral tone.

"Well, good. This celebration _is_ in her honor, after all. I just thought she would you to be part of her grand entrance." Hera mollified.

"Did you now? Annndddd….what makes you think that? Because Bo and I are _roommates?"_ Tamsin testily shot back, her brain-mouth check valve and filter not malfunctioning in her anxiety and pain. He didn't know how to respond to that.

"Oh, uh…well….I need to finish the preparations. Enjoy the party, Valkyrie." He hurried away and left her at the makeshift bar to continue indulging in her libations.

"Shit!" she whispered to her champagne flute, realizing how she had fucked up and tipped her hand to the enemy. _Goddamn you Acacia, you were right – Love_ _ **will**_ _get me killed! I wouldn't even have been in this mess if I would have just kept my big fat trap shut instead of telling Bo I was in love with her! I am such a fucking_ _ **idiot!**_

Others were quickly arriving now, all dressed to the nines and eager to see what all the commotion was about. Tamsin mingled causally, always drifting near the servers as they walked by with trays of drinks. An annoying young dark fae spriggan who looked so much like Balzak that they could have been brothers latched on to her, trying to be helpful and trick the Valkyrie into being in his debt. She wasn't buying what he was selling; she refused to even acknowledge his presence to such an extent that she didn't even roll her eyes at his pitifully blatant attempts at coercion.

Tamsin was on a mission to get just buzzed enough to calm her nerves before she had to see Bo again and deal with the emotions that talking with her would churn up. But her irritating self-appointed side kick was hindering that effort. Her savior came in the form of a Loki, his nearly black hair tussled and his hazel eyes sparkling with mischief. She would recognize one of his ilk anywhere. He firmly pushed his way between the determined spriggan and the Valkyrie with an insincere apology to the little imp and addressed Tamsin, "I'm sorry, I'm sure you hear this alot, but haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

The blonde looked at him for a second, doubtful that someone here would claim to know her outside her connection to Bo. He was handsome, true, but his straightforwardness and ballsy nature indicative of the handsome fae is what really pleased her. The fact that he was rescuing her from her tormentor also solidly put him in her good graces. She smiled at him and said, "I don't think so; I think I'd remember a handsome devil such as yourself." _I can still flirt with the best of them!_ She thought, taking great comfort in the realization.

"Oh, no. I know you from _somewhere._ I'm sure of it. And I'm betting it was a battlefield. You are a Valkyrie, after all. Indulge me." He said with a self-assured grin.

She returned his smile in kind. "OK, Loki. Shoot." _This could be fun._ She mused, happy to play a little guessing game with the handsome fae to distract herself from her own anxiety and alleviate her irritation caused by her spriggan stalker's attentions. Talking of battles always put Tamsin in a good mood.

"Alright, let me see…France, 1918. Battle of Belleau Wood. You were there with the American Marines!" he declared.

"Wrong! That was somebody else." She smirked.

"OK…let me think. Mmmmm, aha! American Civil War, 1862! You were there at Fort Donelson with Grant! You made the Confederate General Pillow doubt the plan and return to the fort and regroup against Colonel Forrest's counsel! Good one, you opened the Cumberland River to the Union Forces!"

Tamsin laughed heartily at that. "Gods below, that wasn't even Valkyrie intervention! That was just stupidity born of too many cooks in the kitchen! And I was long out of the game by then."

"I see…" he mused, disappointed but happy she was eager to engage in conversation with him. As he sub coconsciously narrowed his eyes to take in her features more carefully in order to spark his memory, the idiotic young spriggan interrupted, much to the chagrin of the two warriors.

"Listen, I think you are bothering the young lady…"he boldly stated in an ill conceived effort to gain a favor from the Valkyrie and rid himself of the completion for her attention.

Before Tamsin could give voice to the string of foul-mouthed crude threats and insults she had been biting back since being graced by his slimy attentions, the Loki spoke for her. He said pretty much what she would have, but in a more tactful and clever way that impressed her. "Listen, spriggan, if you want a favor I will grant you this one: I will let you live past sunset if you vanish from our sight right now and never bother us again. Deal?" the Loki raised an eyebrow as he stared at the baby fae with an expression that conveyed real malice and the promise of violence as Tamsin mirrored his perfectly in a show of solidarity.

The spriggan comically attempted to make himself appear taller as he stood up straight and tugged at the lapels of his ill-fitting tuxedo coat. He took in a deep breath and exhaled before saying in a self-righteous declaration, "Well, I was only trying to be a gentleman! Apparently my genteel manners aren't appreciated by the cruder fae!" he dared to glare at them in anger before scurrying off like a rat when the lights are turned on.

The Valkyrie and the Loki laughed together at his departure. Tamsin thought to herself, _This_ _ **is**_ _fun! But I_ _ **am**_ _curious now. This guy really does think he knows me from somewhere and it is not just using a cheap pickup line to try to gain an opening into seducing me._ "Next." She prompted with a small smile before taking another sip of her drink. She was now critically observing in his features in order to try to connect them to a long buried memory.

He pondered aloud a short list of battles, dismissing them before she offered a yea or nay. Now she was sure that he did, in fact, know her from somewhere and began running down memories of battles long past in her own memory. She didn't know if she would tell him if she finally realized their connection or not, but it didn't matter. He discovered it first.

He snapped his fingers in celebration of success and gleefully stated, "Got it! Year 9 AD, or CE or whatever they are calling it now – Battle of Teutoburg Forrest! You helped us destroy the 17th, 18th, and 19th legions of the Roman General Varus! I can't believe it! It's _**you**_!" He was laughing now with real joy, as her wide eyes betrayed that his memory was correct without her mind's consent or her voicing a confirmation out loud. "You stood with us while the other Valkyrie worked with the Romans, but we still prevailed! Oh, you are _good_!"

"You have no idea how much trouble I got into over that!" she hissed. It was a painful memory. She had lost her position as Freya's favorite to Stacey over it, and was ostracized by her sister Valkyrie – an anathema. She was henceforth sent on the most brutal and deadly missions, her lives ending prematurely due to the constant exposure to risky endeavors. The Blood King recognized her guilt and fear of eternal damnation and exploited it to convince her to make the deal to hand over Rainer's soul. And that deal led to her expulsion from Valhalla, freelancing as a bounty hunter, and the fateful deal with Hades himself. Everything about that battle had led her to Bo – and that was the most painful memory of all.

"I'm sorry if it caused you strife. Honestly though, I can't say I'm not glad you were fighting on our side. You helped save our colony from the most powerful Empire on earth. I'm not sorry about that. And I thank you for it. But I am curious, _why_ did you do it?"

She sighed, not sure if she should make up a lie or even answer the question at all. In the end, she decided that it didn't matter one way or the other since the die was cast already, and she told the truth. "It was a bet."

The Loki's hazel eyes widened in disbelief and disappointment at the seemingly honest answer, "You altered the course of history on a _wager?"_ His tone betrayed how offended he was that his benefactor merely helped him for money.

Tamisn nodded, head hanging in shame. But it wasn't a bet for money – it was over _pride._ She had admired the Germanic tribes east of the Rhine, and thought them superior warriors to the Roman troops fighting for money. She thought the fact that they were fighting for their homes and way of life far worthier cause than the Roman's lust for conquest. Stacey had hurt her pride by constantly taunting her about how she knew nothing about what it took to make a good warrior and said that the Roman legions were far superior in morals as well as skill in battle. She had bet Tamsin that even with her help, the tribes could never hope to win. She had also hinted that if Tamsin did prevail, Freya would be impressed by her prowess in battle and fighting for what she thought was right. And that manipulation set the whole course of the rest of her lives, leading up to this very moment.

The Valkyrie looked him in the eyes now, "I didn't want your people to lose, to become slaves to the Romans. You were better than them. I wanted to prove it, and my rival goaded me into doing so against Freya's wishes." She had believed that her mistress would forgive her for it after she explained why she wanted to help - they were very close, after all. She had been wrong.

"So you caused the three Roman legions to flee in the forest?" he asked in confusion.

"No, I was just one Valkyrie against many. Your people did all the work. All I did was lessen their advantage, by taking some of my sisters out of the fight." She smiled at how her own modesty made her feel better. He didn't seem to be offended anymore, and smiled back at her in return.

"Well, I thank you. I should be get back to my wife now. It was so nice to meet you again, and if you ever need anything, call me." He produced a business card from his jacket and handed it to her. With a wink, he melted into the ever increasing party guests milling about.

She looked solemnly at the card in her hands. It was sparse in detail – a picture of a statue of a warrior in a winged helmet holding a sword aloft, a singular name, and a phone number. The name was 'Arminius.' She gasped in shock, before searching with her eyes to find where he went until a ringing bell and announcement from the butler interrupted her thoughts.

"YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! Bo and her party will be arriving shortly! Please take a glass to raise in toast and wait near the elevator to greet her at her arrival!"

 _Shit! I am soooo not ready for this!_


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: And Now You're back to Bother Me

Tamsin was not at all prepared to see Bo and her entourage right now. Not after the blast from her past reminded her that her own arrogance and naiveté had indeed allowed her to be manipulated into causing the chain of events that caused the ancients to be released. As the guests and servers gathered in front of the elevator, she took the opportunity to duck unnoticed into the kitchen and breathed a sigh of relief. The sight of a counter lined with buckets of champagne on ice made her grin as she thought, _Oh yea, come to mamma baby. Time to get my drink on!_ She had forgone the glass flute and carefully drank straight from the bottle now that she was alone and felt no need to maintain her half-hearted charade of social grace. A collective cheer from the living room informed her that Bo had arrived as she was taking a drink, and she nearly sputtered it out all over her dress at the shock it gave her. She needed more time to collect herself.

Finding a tray of hors d'oeuvres, she helped herself to some as the painful feelings of regret dulled with the simple pleasures of being just a little bit naughty and enjoying to the bounties of Zeus' kitchen unobserved. But her solitude was interrupted, and of course, it would have to be Dyson who found her. She should have known that he would immediately investigate every room of the apartment as any good cop would. His eyes grew wide as her unexpected presence startled him, and he quickly scanned the rest of the room before hurrying towards her and physically dragging her into the pantry adjoining the kitchen. She allowed herself to be ushered into the small room, and once the door was closed, finally spoke before he had a chance to explain himself, "Wow, you skip the foreplay and get right down to business, don't you. I like that, you dog, you!"

He ignored her teasing and did get right down to business, "Tamsin, what are you _**doing**_ here?" His expression was intensely worrisome and filled with concern.

She ignored the serious tone and flippantly answered him "Eating…" she held up the hand holding a finger sandwich, "…and drinking." She held up the champagne bottle with raised eyebrows as if toasting him before taking a generous swig off of it.

The wolf tried again to get a straight answer out of her. Tamsin's present cavalier attitude and unexpected appearance at the party seemed so out of character for her. She had always been very professional and business like in a dangerous situation, and her casual indulging in her love for alcohol in the very home of their very deadly enemies confused him. He had never even told her where and when the party was taking place, and knew that none of the others had, either. "How did you even _get_ here?"

"Im ma ruck." She replied, mouth full of the food she was chewing obscuring her words. Tamsin was still not seriously engaged in the conversation. She gazed innocently at him as she slowly finished her sandwich and washed it down with more champagne. _I wonder how long he will keep this up until he just comes right out and ask me what he really wants to._

Dyson took a deep breath and let it out slowly through his nose, nearly growling in the process. He crossed his arms as he stood rigidly at his full height and mulled over how his former partner was mysteriously here as he had tried seemingly unsuccessfully to convince her to be earlier. Since she was giving him literal answers to his questions, he decided to ask her up front and directly without tap dancing around the topic. "Well, since you're here: are you going to help me or just drink your way through Zeus's liquor supply?"

The Valkyrie gave him an evil grin and boasted "I can do both!" She was glad he was being forthright with her, for once, and it did make her feel good to know he respected her enough to forgo hiding his intentions. _Atta boy, Dyson. You_ _ **can**_ _teach an old dog new tricks!_ She thought to herself.

He was visibly relieved at her agreement, and smiling shook his head telling her "You know, I will never understand you, Tamsin. But thank you." He gazed right at her now, his eyes displaying the warm affection he held for her.

She allowed her own eyes to show the fondness she felt for him in return as she informed him, "No, Dyson, I think _now_ you do understand me just fine. So, spill!" she playfully punched his shoulder, "Tell me the plan, and ppuulllleaasssse promise me it doesn't involve 'talking' with the succubus!" She rolled her eyes at that, making him roar with laughter.

He snatched the bottle from her and drained it before declaring with a huge grin, "Deal!"

* * *

Dyson explained her mission; it was pretty simple and didn't involve working directly with Bo or Lauren. She need simply stay vigilant for any sign of danger, and watch Zeus and Hera once they had decided to make their appearance. Should anything untoward go down, she would let him know and be ready to join in any fight that might break out. As Dyson hurried off to finish his sweep of the apartment, she headed back out to the party and went straight for the hors d'oeuvre table. She had seen Bo across the room with Lauren, the doctor hovering over her like a mother hen and cautiously looking out for danger. Tamsin rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of thinking the ancients had lured her here only to kill the succubus. They already knew where they lived and it would have been far easier to break in and do that long ago if that were their intentions. _No, they want Bo alive for some reason; that much is clear._ She deduced. Not wanting to catch unwanted attention, she turned to face the table and indulged herself in the clam dip. It was delicious. She raised her eyebrows in surprise and appreciation as she enjoyed her little snack.

The attention she was avoiding materialized next to her in the form of Trick, apparently slightly annoyed by the sight of her. His distain was not disguised by his words when he told her, "Well, Tamsin, I'm glad you decided to get over yourself and help us clean up this disaster you caused by making a deal with Hades."

She slowly turned to look down on the diminutive bar keeper with a malicious expression, shocked that he would boldly accuse her outright of being solely responsible for what had happened. _Still, he's being honest. OK, that deserves an honest reply._ "I am over myself; maybe you should try it. Because, if you did, you would realize that this mess wasn't my doing, it was **yours."** She hissed out the accusation with real conviction.

Trick was fuming over the fact that she no longer seemed remorseful over her guilt at what she had done. He knew she had broken down in front of Bo over it in the past and felt ashamed about the fateful deal, but now seemed to blame him for it. So he continued to prosecute her rabidly in his anger, "How is this my fault? All I did was give you more life in return for one soul. You made the deal that caused Bo to go to Tartarus and release the ancients, not me! Why can't you accept that fact?"

She laughed bitterly and shook her head. "Oh, I accept that fact, and I regret it every day. I did that. I _**own**_ it. But you didn't just take one soul destined for Valhalla from me. You took my innocence in the bargain, and _that_ is what damned my soul for eternity." Her serious expression dared him to try to deny his own culpability, which he did dare to do.

"Your soul was destined for Hel! I gave you the chance to redeem yourself, and in your arrogance and greed, you fell further into evil. That is _**entirely**_ your fault!" He was adamant, and his tone conveyed that he was speaking out from a position of moral authority. She wasn't swayed into a mea culpa, and knew with every fiber of her being that she was right. She was also dead sure that he knew it, too, despite his blustery denial.

She huffed out a short breathy laugh at the lies he had obviously came to accept as fact in his own mind as she looked away briefly. When her green eyes met his stern gaze again, she continued, "Yeah, it's true, I am arrogant. But you blaming _me_ alone for causing this whole mess out of arrogance is a laugh! Tell you what, why don't you grab a step stool and go look in the bathroom mirror at yourself and tell me honestly what you see looking back. Because if you don't see hubris and denial staring you right in the face I will let you beat my bare ass black and blue with a belt in payback!"

His intense expression softened, betraying his deeply buried guilt over his own part in the chain of events. But he said nothing and looked away as she stepped towards him menacingly and began prosecuting him. "Look at me!" she commanded in an angry hiss, leaning down to get closer to him. He obeyed, and when their eyes met, she continued, "I was being punished for my defiance of Freya, but I was never going to Hel. And you **knew** it. My soul was damned the second I betrayed my obligation to take a worthy soul to its eternal reward. Rainer was a good man for trying to stop your tyranny, yet you damned us both. You wrote Rainer's death in your own blood, so I had no choice but make it happen. You used my guilt, fear, and innocence against me, Blood King, and tricked me into that deal." She straightened up to her full height, and her intensity fell away suddenly. "You know, your nickname really suits you. I never made the connection." She stated lightly, grabbing a glass of champagne off the tray of the server who had glared at her earlier as she hurried past and sipping it casually.

Trick smiled grimly at her shift in mood, and decided to cease trying to antagonize her. They did, after all, need her help and needling the Valkyrie at this time and place probably wasn't such a good idea in the first place. But he was worried about his granddaughter's safety if not her very soul, and knowing Tamsin had felt betrayed by Bo caused him concern that she might be planning retribution. "I'm sorry, Tamsin. But none of that matters anymore; the past is the past. We need your help right now, if you are willing." He said sadly, but with urgency.

"I am. On one condition: stop with the self-righteous bullshit. It pisses me off. We all have blood on our hands." With that parting shot, she turned on her heels to leave. But before she got more than a few steps away, she looked over her shoulder and advised him, "Oh, and try the clam dip. It's ammaazzinnggg!"

* * *

Bo's family seemed to be gathering for a little confab which she wasn't invited to, despite the fact that both Trick and Dyson knew she was there. She had told the shifter she didn't want to be in the company of the succubus - true. But she thought he would at least update her in on their mission plans. Instead, he moved off hurriedly into the gathering without a glance in her direction. It was a painful reminder of her status in the group, and she turned her back to them as their meeting broke up to stop the bitterness from rising up within her. She was afraid she might have another emotional breakdown. _I need to stay strong, for her. And for me, too._ she thought, focusing on her mission and mentally steeling herself for battle. It wasn't a fight with the ancients that concerned her, but the battle to control her emotions when Bo eventually noticed her and inevitably confronted her that made her nervous. But there were a few other attractive ladies near her, and they thankfully engaged her in mindless chit chat allowing her to breathe easier and gain control of her emotions.

Just as soon as the surprisingly pleasant conversation with young women ended, the inevitable battle began. The succubus had become distracted by the sight of her familiar back and frivolously abandoned her own attempts to get back with Lauren to seek out Tamsin and accost her. She was, in truth, easily distracted and callously left the self-declared love of her life mid conversation to pick a fight with the woman she did not love. And Bo figuratively threw the first punch with a sarcastic comment motivated by her obvious irritation at the surprise appearance of the Valkyrie, "I didn't realize you got an invitation." She said to the blonde's back in a manner that implied Tamsin had no right to be there without her knowledge or say so. Or at least, that's the way Tamsin took it. Bo could certainly be every bit as haughty as the Valkyrie, whether she admitted it or not, and that was the real cause of most of their difficulties working together. But her forwardness and cold demeanor gave the blonde the courage she needed to face her.

 _OK, baby, you asked for it. Let's dance!_ With a barely audible growl of frustration that failed to be fully contained by her clenched mouth as intended, Tamsin turned to return Bo's greeting. She opted to reply politely, but with the same measure of sarcasm the succubus had used on her. "It's nice to see you, too."

Bo was taken aback at the polite words, and ignoring the sarcasm behind them, began to speak more earnestly with the Valkyrie. She had thought Tamsin might respond angrily to her brash greeting, and she had no idea how close the blonde had come to doing just that. But Bo was still upset by Tamsin abandoning her when she needed her most, yet grateful for her unexpected presence. She opted to allow her gratitude to color her next words, rather than her anger. "I'm glad you're here. We need you." She told her sincerely.

Tamsin couldn't continue to look her in the eyes for fear of blurting out another embarrassing admission of love for the succubus. The simple fact that Bo's spoke kindly to her made her heart swell with joy. But the knowledge that she had only done so in order to harness her strength to help pull the group out of this mess with the ancients hurt her, deeply. The Valkyrie looked at her feet and across the room – anywhere but directly at Bo – as she replied, "Yeah, Dyson filled me in on 'Operation Ancients go History…" she paused to drain her nearly empty glass. As she drank it down, her face briefly contorted into a painful grimace, as if she were swallowing broken glass instead of the light and refreshing libation. She did look the succubus in the eyes as she continued, "…I'm game."

"Well, maybe you should take it easy!" Bo snapped back, thinking Tamsim's expression of discomfort was due to the burning of an exceedingly strong drink. And although she worded it as a suggestion, the inflection of her voice implied that it was a command. If the Valkyrie was harnessed to their wagon, the succubus was making it irrefutably clear as to just who was driving it.

 _Wow._ Tamsin thought before responding, _there really is no limit to her capacity to suck at reading people. And if she had only paid attention that night, I would have given her my oath of fealty and the right to order me around, so tough shit. The balls on this one!_ "Look, I'll play superhero with you tonight…" the Valkyrie stepped closer, right into Bo's personal space in a way she knew annoyed the brunette, before whispering suggestively into her ear, "…but there's no way I'm not having fun while I do it!" The Valkyrie sauntered off to find more alcohol, leaving the slightly aroused and very confused succubus to ponder the nature of her relationship with the unpredictable blonde.

Bo hadn't smelled the tell-tale reek of strong spirits on the Valkyrie - and she knew her assesment of her motivations had been so wrong. After all their heart-to-heart talks, Bo thought she knew the Valkyrie well. She had theorized that Valkyrie couldn't love, and Tamsin had been merely acting in a way she thought people in love did in order to get close to her. After all, the newly reborn Valkyrie had been obsessed with trying to understand the nature of love. Now Bo knew that it wasn't to find out how to act like she was in love, but to understand an unknown emotion she never felt before. And now the blonde fae had not run away, but agreed to help them, chocking down her drink as she chocked down her emotions. Even Bo could see that now. Concluding that Tamsin would always remain a mystery to her, she went off to continue her mission to find the ancients, forgetting the Valkyrie and her own postponed talk with Lauren.

* * *

As the evening unfolded, Tamsin had lost sight of Mark as her priority was concentrating on trying to avoid Bo and Lauren. She had inadvertently ended up spending time with Trick by the food table. They didn't say much to each other, and simply enjoyed the détente between them by bonding over their shared passion for the clam dip. _Who knew,_ She thought _that two people who despised each other can get along over such a simple thing._ But their amiable interactions were interrupted by Hera, summoning Trick to join Zeus, or Zee, who would reveal a prophecy to him and Bo. Tamsin was persona non grata at the meeting if the menacing look Hera gave her as they left was any indication. She shrugged to herself, and sought out more alcohol.

While Trick and Bo were preoccupied with Zeus' machinations, Tamsin took the opportunity to look around for Mark, whom she hadn't seen in some time. Both the young shifter and Iris were nowhere to be found in the apartment. _Shit! Vex is going to kill me if something happens to the pup! Well, he might_ _ **try**_ _to kill me, I can take him!_ Tamsin sought out Dyson to bring the apparent absence of his son to his attention, but when she did find him he was talking with Lauren. She fully intended to interrupt them with this possibly important revelation, but something stopped her. She turned her back on the pair, deep in serious conversation, to seek out the makeshift bar. She refilled her glass with some expensive vodka and drained it immediately. While she was mulling over why she didn't go speak to Dyson, he tapped her on the shoulder saying her name, startling her. She refilled her glass yet again, and turned to him giving him her full attention. "Tamsin, I need you to do something important for me."

He urgently needed her to subdue Hera and keep him captive in case Zee's plan to sever Bo's father's link to her included some sort of treachery. The Valkyrie thought it an ill-conceived plan; if he agreed with Bo's belief that removing Hades mark from her was the right thing to do then he should be all in and not hedge his bet. And if he didn't, he should work to convince her to consider his arguments against it, and she told him as much. But Dyson persisted in persuading Tamsin to go along with his plan, since he wanted to be at the ceremony in case Bo needed him and the Valkyrie certainly desired to stay as far away from the succubus as possible. Since he put it like that, she agreed, forgetting her need to inform Dyson that she suspected his son was missing.

Once she had lured Hera into the master bedroom and yoked him up in a firm wrestling hold, Dyson joined her. "Hey boy. Everything is okey dokey here. Thanks for checking in." she smirked over her shoulder.

He looked away guiltily as he cleared his throat. "I need to ask another favor of you." The wolf finally stated bluntly as he looked back at her.

"I hope it isn't anything too strenuous; kinda got my hands full here." She replied curiously with a nose scrunch. _What the fuck is he up to? I thought we hashed out our plans already!_

"No, it's not difficult, it's just…" but before the shifter could finish answering her, Dr. Lewis walked in and greeted him.

"Dyson, you needed me?" she asked, glaring briefly at the mute Valkyrie. Their last encounter was vividly etched into her mind, but the fact that Bo had said she wanted her back kept her mood light and she acted professionally.

The shifter explained that he needed her to help Tamsin keep Hera hostage as Bo went through the ceremony. The doctor nodded in agreement and said she would be happy to help out in any way she could. The Valkyrie, however, was offended by the Dyson telling the doctor that she would actually need anyone's help, let alone Lauren's, in any task assigned to her. After all, she successfully completed all of her missions, save one – the one to deliver Bo to her father.

Tamsin shot eye daggers at the wolf, who gave her a sorrowful and understanding expression in apology. As he helped the Valkyrie tie the ancient fae to a chair, he whispered in her ear, "I need you to keep Lauren safe. Bo didn't want her to be at the ceremony. It's too dangerous."

 _Fuck my life!_


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: How Long Before you see the Truth

After Dyson and Tamsin had secured Hera to the chair, the wolf spoke briefly to Lauren while Tamsin grabbed the bottle of expensive single malt scotch she had brought along. But before she could even take a sip, Dyson took it away from her gently. He raised an eyebrow, and tilted his head slightly towards Lauren. To emphasize his point, he wagged an index finger at her in a "no, no" gesture before verbally asking her to check Hera's bonds. The ancient fae was squirming quite a bit in the chair, and he had to go to the ceremony.

Tamsin rolled eyes in response before complying with his request. _Great, just fucking great Dyson! The second to the last person on earth I would want to be stuck alone with, and here I am. And you even deny me my entertainment!_ As Dyson left, and she tightened the knots on Hera's bonds, he asked, "Is this really necessary?"

"Quid pro quo: You're a little insurance policy in case anything happens to Bo." The Valkyrie informed him emotionlessly, leaning down and speaking into his ear. She did so love getting into people's personal space to provoke them.

Lauren was taking her 'job' seriously and immediately, yet unnecessarily added, "Yeah! We find out first, and you pay! Right?" The doctor was more content to offer toothless provocation from further away, in a most counter-productive manner. She took a few steps towards their captive to emphasize the obviously empty threat.

Lauren's un-convincing 'bad cop' act irked the Valkyrie and she thought to herself, _The hell? Does Lauren suddenly think she's Dirty Harry or something?_ But Tamsin had spotted a celebrity magazine on the bed and was already walking towards the blessed distraction, having no desire to call out Lauren on her half-assed attempt at intimidation or engage the doctor in conversation in any way. Not after the last time they 'chatted' with such disastrous results. It had enraged Bo when she had found out her 'roommate' had fought with Dr. Lewis in the past. She certainly didn't want Bo to track her ass down to show her how much she cared for Lauren's emotional well-being and how little for her own by admonishing her for upsetting Lauren again. And beside the point, in the presence of their enemy, it would be ill advised to put on a display of discord among was here to fix the mess she helped create, not to start any new shit she would have to deal with later. She sighed as she picked up the magazine, unconsciously giving voice to her musings, "Mmmhhh! Well, at least I have something to keep my mind off Bo!" _Oh shit, was that out loud? Please, please, please just let it go Lauren!_

But the doctor wasn't going to let what she mistook as a dig at her go; she seemed hell-bent on confronting Tamsin to gloat in the same manner the Valkyrie had done to her when they were looking for Cassie. The Valkyrie had seen her and Bo talking at the party, and knew instinctively without being privy to the conversation what it was about. Lauren turned to her "Oh, OK. Ignoring me. That's mature." Tamsin did ignore her, flipping through the pages of the magazine in a vain attempt to get her rival to _please just shut the fuck up_. "Oooorrr, we could talk about it like two grown adults – there's a novel idea." She continued with wide hand gestures that Tamsin didn't even see with her unseeing eyes glued to the magazine.

Tamsin did look at her then; the sarcasm and smugness in Dr. Lewis's voice stung. " _Why_ would I want to talk about Bo's emancipation with _**you?**_ " The Valkyrie said, raising her eyebrows before returning to her pretense of reading. She knew that wasn't what Bo's girlfriend wanted to talk about, but hoped the mention of Bo's dangerous ceremony might distract her from pursuing her line of questioning. It didn't.

Lauren stepped closer, determined to get to the real heart of the matter. "You've been wanting to talk about this all night, haven't you Tamsin?...humm?" The Valkyrie glanced at her, before returning to her magazine, in reassurance that she didn't want to talk at all. However, despite the fact Lauren felt sure she and Bo were officially a couple again, she was a little stung by the succubus postponing them cementing their relationship to go chase after Tamsin. She was more than just a little curious as to what was going on between the two. "Go ahead – You, me, Bo…"

Tamsin sighed, giving in. _I don't want to hash this out with her, especially in front of Hera. But if I want her to give me what I want, I'll have to give her something in return. Quid pro quo. Apparently, Bo hasn't told her about_ _ **our**_ _little 'talk,' or she wouldn't even be fucking with me right now._ "Look Lauren, I entered the game - and I lost." She looked away before adding wistfully, "That's life." She looked her directly in the eyes, and didn't just eat a slice of humble pie – but choked down the whole damn dish. "The best woman won." Her words were free of snark or sarcasm and instead conveyed sincerity and humility. She turned back to her magazine and decided to stick a fork in the whole issue. But her heart disagreed with her words, and subconsciously forced a barely noticeable shake of her head as she tried to assure the doctor there was nothing left to discuss, "I'm over it, and you should be to." She said in a sigh, which she followed up with another, to stop herself from expressing her emotions. She was done with the conversation. No matter how difficult, investing a show of strength and admitting defeat was easier than exposing her vulnerability. Tamsin had tried to adopt the habit of speaking honestly about her feelings as Bo, Lauren and Dyson always did in order to be more like them. She thought by doing so, they would accept her as one of them, and Bo would see that she was worthy of being loved. But her attempts had only pushed her further to the fringes of the group. She knew now it was better to keep her true feelings bottled up; every emotional risk she had taken in the past yielded devastating results. _Evony was right;_ she thought, _I will_ _ **never**_ _be one of them. And Bo was wrong; I can't be anyone I want to be. I can only be who I_ _ **am**_ _._

Lauren was nearly dumbstruck – she knew now something serious had transpired between Bo and Tamsin shaking the Valkyrie to the very core of her being. The fact that the normally proud, snarky and antagonistic woman was sincerely conceding defeat and offering her praise shocked her. And she could see that Tamsin was obviously lying about being over 'it.' Surely whatever happened between the two to cause Tamsin to move out had been more serious than a simple argument instigated by the Valkyrie's stubbornness, jealousness, and piss-poor attitude as Bo had implied. She felt compelled to offer an equally honest and heartfelt reply in return, but struggled to find the words, "Oh. Well that's…very _noble_ of you..."

Tamsin glanced briefly at her upon hearing the word 'noble' used to describe her, despite herself. Surely Lauren was being sarcastic, and if so, she would certainly correct her on that. Valkyrie _are_ noble. But what she saw in her expression made her look quickly back at the magazine she continued to pretend to read. _She's being honest with me! I can't handle this, she's going to want to 'talk,' talk about emotions, talk about how I feel about the situation. Shit! I feel like not talking at all!_

"…not really sure what to say." Dr Lewis finally managed to get out.

 _Oh, thank god! She is going to leave me the fuck alone! I just want to get this shit over with and go get drunk!_ As the Valkyrie breezed through the pages of celebrity gossip, the doctor slowly moved to sit on the bed in a ignored her, until she realized how unnecessarily close to her Lauren chose to rest. She gave her a quick once over as the doctor stared off into space, at first to discern possible intentions for moving so close to her. But her next glance was purely appreciative. _She is hot. Not as hot as me or Bo, of course. But obviously she is off wool-gathering now and I should just leave her be until she realizes just how close she is sitting to me and backs the fuck off on her own._

Dr. Lewis appeared to be deep in thought, and truly she was. It seems as though the proudly cold Valkyrie was deeply in love, and devastatingly hurt by Bo's apparent rejection of her. Ever analytical, she was taking this new insight into Tamsin's personality and re-evaluating how it may have influenced the Valkyrie's behavior in her past interactions with their group. She needed to do the math, now that she had found the value of a previously unknown variable in Tamsin's motivations was love, before she decided how to proceed with her own future conversations with the blonde fae.

As Lauren gazed without attention at their captive, Hera suddenly decided to break up the silence and offer a smarmy comment on the exchange he had just witnessed, "Well, this is nice." The smug look on his face let them both know he had a pretty good idea what they were talking about, and he was going to use this knowledge to get under their skin. The doctor looked away as soon as she noticed Tamsin's attention snap predictably to the source of her irritation. She gave him a pointed look that promised retribution should the commentary continue, followed by a raise of one eyebrow that indicated her determination to follow through. Lauren, however, didn't want to insert herself into the non-verbal interaction going on between the two powerful fae. She knew that any contribution she made would only escalate the tension; and an angry Valkyrie was a vengeful Valkyrie. As she looked down and smoothed her dress, her eyes fell on some strange hardware built into the raised platform on which the bed was placed. They were embedded in tracks slightly longer than the flat metal, presubably in order to allow a hand reach into the indentation to lift them. She leaned over the side of the bed and pulled up on one of the metal pieces to examine it, and realized it was an industrial grade buckle for some sort of tie-down to be weaved through. This piece of information was important – she needed to point it out even at the risk of focusing the brooding Valkyrie's attention away from trying to control her simmering emotions from boiling over into uncontained rage. "What the hell are these? Are these _restraints_?" Lauren asked Hera with a look of both concern and incredulousness.

This revelation shocked Tamsin out of her own painful musings and into action. As she set aside the magazine, she glanced at Hera, then Lauren as she slowly moved to investigate the contraptions for herself. They _were_ restraints, and very strong ones. The Valkyrie stalked towards the bound ancient fae and leaned down to look at him at eye level. Her slow, deliberate movements would seem almost sensual in nature to a casual observer, but the sub context made the implied threat all the more ominous. Whatever pain she intended to inflict on the ancient, she would enjoy it _immensely_. Hera sensed it, too, and began to squirm and fidget as much as his bonds would allow while he tried to talk his way out of the situation, "OK… Before you over-react, let me explain…"

"How you wanting to restrain a _child_ makes me not _want to kill you_?" she gave him a feigned look of confusion before turning her attention over her shoulder to illicit Lauren's opinion and assistance. "Possible?" If the good doctor wanted to play 'bad cop,' Tamsin would show her how it's done – up close, personal, and with an unspoken yet tangible threat of pain.

Lauren stepped closer, an eager student and quick learner she followed the Valkyrie's lead. They needed to get to the truth of what was going on, and Tamsin was certainly the subject matter expert when it came to intimidation. "No. No I don't think it is at **all**." The doctor agreed with her, her voice expressing genuine disgust at the thought of the teenage girl trussed up in bed by her parents. That, and their love for Bo, was something the two blondes shared in common and more than enough reason to allow them to work together seamlessly as a team.

"Ok, Look we didn't…we didn't do it to hurt her." He smiled widely showing his teeth as he tried to catch the Valkyrie's eyes. But she was moving behind him now, leaving her companion to take her place in front of him. It was unnerving to him; he felt he had a better chance of reasoning with the obviously heart-broken dark fae than with the succubus' ever loyal and devoted doctor. It was unimaginable to him that the Valkyrie would invite her bitter rival take charge of the questioning after her clearly defensive behavior towards her earlier. "We did it…because we have to." He concluded lamely, hoping against his belief that they would eventually discover the truth of the matter.

Lauren leaned forward and stared him right in the eyes intensively as she had witnessed Tamsin doing before. " **Why**? Why do you tie up a little girl while you sleep; _are you afraid of her_?" Although posed as a question, it was a revelation of the doctor's sudden epiphany.

Tamsin continued her provocative stalking as she, too, leaned down to Hera's level from behind him and picked quickly picked up on Lauren's chain of reasoning, saying in a soft yet sarcastic tone, "Doesn't make any sense!" she put her face close to Hera's left ear and slowly drifted her right hand down his right shoulder over his chest seductively as she breathed out "Powerful fae like them…"

"Except, what if Iris is more powerful than they are?" Lauren hypothesized and received proof of its validity in the look of defeat in Hera's eyes. " _ **Iris**_ is the most powerful of the ancients!" she proclaimed confidently to Tamsin standing up straight.

The Valkyrie grabbed her captives face and forced him to look at her so she could also read his expression. It was true; the young girl was the strongest of the three. "Shit!" she exclaimed as she released her hold on him and stood up as well. She looked at her 'partner' who was gazing at her with an expression of terror. "Now what?"

"Tamsin, Dyson told Mark to stay with Iris during the party! The boy hasn't even shifted yet; he is as vulnerable as a human right now!"

"Dyson, you fucking _**idiot**_!" Tamsin exclaimed, thinking of all the blunders the wolf had made in the recent past. But bringing his immature son along and insisting the boy spend time alone with an ancient and powerful fae whose motives were unclear was easily the stupidest thing he had done. _Dyson needs to stop thinking with his dick and get real! Just because he is good tactician and strong warrior doesn't automatically mean his spawn is! The boy is a clueless, horny moron who is lucky to have survived this long!_

Dr. Lewis interrupted the Valkyrie's musing over how Dyson's pride was overriding his discretion while planning with a statement of her own plans. "I need to find Mark –" she started determinedly for the door until Tamsin grabbed her arm and physically stopped her.

"Lewis, no! I haven't seen Mark or Iris in a long time; I don't think either one of them is here anymore! And it's too dangerous, let me look for them." The Valkyrie insisted.

Lauren looked at her in shock, both at the new moniker she was using towards her and the sudden concern for her safety. "Tamsin, I need you to make sure Hera doesn't break free and warn Zee that we know how powerful Iris is; I'm just going to find Mark and let Dyson know what is going on." She assured the Valkyrie.

Tamsin sighed in resignation and released her hold on Lauren's arm. It was imperative that their captive not warn his more powerful partner that they were aware of Iris' power while Dyson's son might still be in harm's way. As the doctor hurried away, Hera cleared his throat and attempted to use the information he had gleaned about the Valkyrie to his own advantage.

"Well, now that your boss is gone, there is no longer any reason for you to keep me tied up." He smirked at her.

"She's not my _boss!_ " the Valkyrie shot back, turning to him in anger. He merely smiled knowingly at her as she made her way back to her seat at the bed and dropped herself down.

"No, you're right. I'm sorry – I meant your boss' _wife!_ " Hera pushed his barb further in an attempt to rattle his enemy.

The Valkyrie's pale complexion darkened to a deep red as she struggled to control the rage building within her. Keeping a tight rein on her emotions was getting increasingly more difficult the as the topic drifted closer to Bo and her own failed attempt to be her lover. But she said nothing, and merely glared back at him.

Now that he had found her weakness, he was going to exploit it for all it was worth. The succubus had scorned the Valkyrie's love in favor of the human doctor; that much was clear to him. And despite what she had said before, the blonde fae obviously was far from being 'over it.' Therefore, the succubus's ability to influence her actions must be hanging by a thread. A tenuous connection like that could easily be severed with sharp words and painful truths. "I'm sorry she doesn't love you. But look on the bright side, you have no obligation to do what she wants you to anymore. She's doesn't love you, she's just using you – everyone knows it. And, taking that into account, there is no reason you and I can't be friends." He smiled with mock concern at her.

"You know _nothing_ about love!" Tamsin hissed in response, determined not to be seduced by his obvious manipulation and give in to her darker inclinations. The hushed whispers in the back of her mind grew ever louder with his goading, promising an end the pain in her heart should she seek vengeance, sweet vengeance.

Hera laughed at the accusation, "Oh, I know plenty more about love than you ever will! After all, I've been married for a long time, and you Valkyrie certainly aren't known for your wisdom when it comes to matters of the heart."

The Valkyrie dropped her head in defeat at that. It was true, an undeniable fact that she and her kind knew very little about the nature of love. All she knew was she would rather die than do anything to hurt Bo, and didn't know why she would continue feel that way given all that had transpired in the past few days. _Maybe she thralled me without knowing it._ She mused to herself, before her analytical reasoning told her otherwise. _No, if that were the case, I would have stopped drinking when she ordered me to. I'm doing this because I want to help her, and make amends._

Hera continued on, thinking he was making progress, "You know, if someone I loved took advantage of my love for them, I would certainly want a little payback. Just to let them know I'm not someone they can use and discard on a whim." She looked back at him with a sad expression as he continued, "But, maybe I'm smarter than you." The bound man grinned wickedly at her, needeling her into taking some sort of action.

Before she could retort, Lauren burst back into the room with an urgent request, "Tamsin! I need your help! Now!"

Tamsin rose slowly, eyes never leaving Hera's and responded sarcastically, "Yes ma'am!"


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks for reading. Done, as promised.**

 ***drops mic,* *throws deuces***

 **I'm out.**

Chapter 20: Leave 'em Laughing as You Go

Dr. Lewis had searched the entire apartment without finding any sign of Mark or Iris. Well, she had searched everywhere save the living room where the ceremony to sever Bo's connection to her father was taking place. A large, arrogant fae security guard barred her attempted entrance. Zee was not to be disturbed, no matter what he had informed her. Lauren had no choice but to fetch the Valkyrie to help her get past him. But when she returned, she found that the taller blonde's mood had changed during her absence. It was obvious that her tenuous control over her percolating emotions had slipped somewhat during her time alone with their captive, judging by her expression and sarcastic "Yes, ma'am" response to Lauren's demand for her help. But there was no time for niceties or heart-to-heart chats, so when the Valkyrie agreed to help, Lauren merely nodded and started towards the hall. She followed the doctor out of the room wordlessly as Lauren rambled on about the enormous guard blocking the hall, how she needed Tamsin to distract him while she readied a syringe of one of her concoctions to render him unconscious, after which she could return to her task of watching Hera.

The Valkyrie heard none of what she was babbling about, and marched right up to the large fae who attempted lamely to halt her progress by uncrossing his arms holding a hand up, palm out. With an angry grimace, Tamsin laid him out cold with solid right hook to the temple. He never even saw it coming and hit the floor with a thud. Lauren's jaw dropped at the sight, and she turned to rebuke the Valkyrie for her actions. But the evil grin and wild look in her eyes as Tamsin turned her attention back to her stopped the doctor from voicing her distain for the unnecessary violence she had witnessed. There was little time, and even if their mission wasn't urgent – the look in Tamsin's eyes spoke volumes of the slipping control she had over her emotions. It wasn't wise to provoke the raging Valkyrie, especially since she was choosing to take her anger out on their enemies. The taller blonde raised her eyebrows and swept one arm ceremoniously towards the living room entrance, "After you, Lewis."

It suddenly occurred to the doctor that while they had coerced information out of Hera, the captive ancient was gleaning a great deal of knowledge about them without even trying. She had foolishly insisted the Valkyrie discuss their relationships with Bo, despite the other woman's attempts to dismiss the subject. She had thought the proud woman only wanted to avoid it to protect her massive ego, and prodded her in order to reveal that Bo wanted to be with her and end once and for all the Valkyrie's little completion with her over Bo's affections. The fact that one of their enemies was in the room and might use anything they revealed about each other against them never entered her mind. But Lauren should have known better, after all she used knowledge against their enemies from a distance in her lab while Tamsin fought with them on the frontlines of battle. After they talked, though, she realized too late that the succubus had already shattered the heart of her roommate, and the Valkyrie knew not to reveal her weaknesses in the presence of her enemies. Knowledge is power, and the fact that the succubus had scorned the love-sick Valkyrie was a powerful tool that the ancients could utilize to pry Tamsin's loyalty away from Bo. It was a sure bet that Hera had used the knowledge of Bo's rejection to taunt the Valkyrie, re-opening the barely healing wounds of her damaged heart. Kicking herself mentally for her unthinking tactical blunder, Lauren swallowed thickly and nodded, moving hurriedly into the room.

They were just in time. Bo was lying on a flat table serving as some sort of bizarre altar, Zee standing over her with a dagger and the rest of the remaining guests were watching at a respectful distance. "Bo, **STOP**!" the doctor ordered loudly, approaching the pair at the altar. The prone succubus sat up quickly at the unexpected appearance of her girlfriend – she didn't want Lauren to witness this, and wondered how and why she broke away from Tamsin's protective custody. If the blonde fae had upset her enough to interrupt at this crucial moment, she would certainly make sure the Valkyrie paid for it, dearly.

She didn't wonder for long, as said Valkyrie confidently strode into the room behind her girlfriend, walking right up to her and Zee at the head of the table. The look the succubus was giving Tamsin was a familiar one; it was a look of disappointment and disgust reserved for use on her former roommate whenever she had upset Lauren with her teasing. "Iris is more powerful than both of the ancients combined!" Tamsin got right to the point in order wipe that hated look off the succubus' face and end the suspense for the rest of the cadre. Bo's expression thankfully changed to one of incredulity as she tried to process how this new piece of information might affect her own plans to sever the link to her father.

But the news affected Dyson more urgently than any of them. He had in his hubris foolishly sent his rebellious and inexperienced son on his first mission to be alone with the most powerful fae on earth. "And Mark is alone with her." He had an unwelcome epiphany of his own stupidity. Stupidity Vex, of all people, was the only one who cared enough to point out to him. The fact that it was the Mesmer, and no one else in their family, that pointed out the boy's immaturity and defiant attitude towards his father might not be conducive to the success such an important mission was worrisome to him. But it was not nearly as important as making sure the boy was safe. " **Mark! Mark, get out here**!" he called out loudly in a vain attempt to summon his only child.

Lauren hurriedly approached him in order to stop him bolting off in a futile attempt to find his son in the apartment. His calm demeanor was dissolving quickly into pure panic. "Dyson, I already looked for him. He's not here – both of them are gone." The wolf turned to Bo, as if to ask permission to abandon his mission in order to seek out his son. She was climbing down off of the table, and he silently thanked what gods there might be that he wouldn't have to choose between helping her or his son. Bo was going to drop everything and help him; she did care for him even if she didn't want to be with him.

Zee, apparently, wasn't at all rattled by the revelation that Tamsin and Lauren had somehow discovered the truth and seemed eager to continue. Her impatience and arrogance showed in her tone as she loudly proclaimed, "Come on, what's the big deal!"

Bo whirled on her and stated the obvious, as if the ancient fae was blissfully unaware of the fact, "The most powerful of you is with the least powerful of us." She turned next to the Valkyrie and told her the change of plans, "We need to find them!" Tamsin was unsure if this was an order, and invitation to join the group in their search, or simply a statement informing her of their intentions. But the succubus' next statement put paid to the doubts she had over the meaning of Bo's words to her. The brunette turned away from Tamsin before ordering her family standing behind her, " _ **Now**_!" They moved immediately as one towards the elevator; Bo turned on her heels to follow them leaving the dumbstruck and confused Valkyrie standing next to Zee to contemplate what just happened, and what it might mean in terms of her relationship with the succubus' family.

Zee, however, wasn't giving up that easily. She had a demand of her own for the super friends, "You can't go! I'm not finished!" The ancient fae's words were arrogant and coldly demanding, completely disregarding the worry of her guests and the unknown fate of her own daughter.

But to Tamsin, it was painfully reminiscent of what Bo had said to her as she climbed down the stairs of the clubhouse one last time before she left for good. ' _You can't just leave Tamsin! You are part of this team!'_ the succubus' words to her that fateful day trumpeted in her mind as if they were a fanfare announcing the triumphant return of the feelings of despair that she had attempted to avoid. The Valkyrie rolled her eyes at the pair of pretentious women and moved to find herself a drink as Bo turned around and snarked back at her ancient hostess. Tamsin really didn't catch what she said, but knew it wasn't directed at her in anyway. She had already been effectively dismissed before Bo's retort, both from her duties and the succubus' family's company – Bo was apparently done with her for the moment as the elevator dinged closed without any of them asking her to join them.

As she discovered the bottle Dyson had taken from her earlier, a random thought occurred to her. Bo didn't hate the potential for evil she saw in both herself and Tamsin. She had already recognized and come to terms with it. No, it was the _arrogance_ that irritated her. Arrogance she chided the Valkyrie for but would never admit that she herself possessed in spades. They were all so much alike in their hubris, Bo, Tamsin and Zee. Bo just didn't know it.

* * *

Zee was in a panic, trying to remain calm as her guests slowly began, one by one, to offer their thanks for being invited and drift out of the apartment against her assurances that the succubus would return soon and the ceremony would continue. She was trying desperately, without success, to get them to stay to witness Bo's emancipation. As much as she enjoyed the shit-show, Tamsin felt compelled to take care of one piece of unfinished business without being commanded to do so. She was swigging merrily off the bottle as she sauntered back into Iris' room and into her captive's company. He was still tied to the chair, and trying futilely to free himself. The tall blonde leaned casually on the doorframe and waited for him to acknowledge her presence. She was feeling pleasantly slightly tipsy, and somewhat sympathetic to the forgotten man she had tied up. _Zee hasn't even noticed Hera is missing, and doesn't seem to give two shits about him or their daughter. Good to know._

He stopped struggling as soon as he sensed he was being watched, and knew that it could only be the person who tied him up in the first place as they hadn't expressed any surprise at his predicament. Once she knew he was aware of her reappearance, Tamsin did speak to him, "Hey big guy, how ya doin'?"

"Better, now that you are here to keep me company." he responded sarcastically.

"Nah, I'm just here to turn you loose. Your wife doesn't seem overly concerned that your daughter is missing, and I thought you might want to track her down yourself rather than let the succubus and her vengeful wolf find her." Tamsin purposefully filled him in on what was going on, since Zee would surely tell him if she didn't. As she untied him, she thought about how there was nothing to lose confiding in Hera. And it was true that Zeus expressed zero concern when it came to the young girl's whereabouts or safety. She seemed equally ambivalent when it came to her husband, as well.

Hera shot out of the chair, rubbing his wrists as he queried the suddenly sympathetic Valkyrie, "Iris is missing!?" He expressed genuine concern as he asked about his daughter instead of exacting some sort of retribution for the Valkyrie tying him up in the first place.

Tamsin retrieved the bottle she had set down in order to more easily untie him, "Yeah, I was right: She's not here. And Bo ran off without completing the ceremony to find her while your wife is trying to stop everyone else from leaving." The Valkyrie took another swig as she moved to leave the room, but Hera stopped her.

"Wait, why are you still here?" he asked with sincere and unrestrained curiosity. The succubus and company were gone; what possible reason would the blonde fae have to stay in the apartment if even their other guests were leaving?

She shrugged before approaching him and looking him in the eyes, "Well, **someone** had to untie you! Now scurry off to your _loving_ wife; I'm sure she's been worried _sick_ about you!" her voice was dripping with sarcasm and her expression was painted with the exuberant schadenfreude of discovering that Zee didn't seem to love Hera as much as her former captive had implied. He glared at her, face turning red in the realization that the Valkyrie had read him like a book, just as he had done to her. _Oh honey, I know how you feel! We are so much alike in our unrequited love, but you just haven't accepted it yet._ She laughed bitterly as he hurried out of the door to inform his wife of all that had transpired between him and the Valkyrie, no doubt. It didn't matter anymore.

She sat down on the bed to finish the bottle and thought of Vex, hoping he was doing alright in his own endeavors. She felt bad for abandoning him in a futile attempt to help Bo, an attempt that gained them nothing and may well have cost Dyson's son his life. _Shit, I couldn't even keep him safe. Why couldn't I be happy helping Vex and moving on with my life? The Raven was right, I shouldn't have come here. Maybe it was a warning from Valhalla; maybe they want me back. I certainly hope so - I have nowhere else to go._ But the other part of the Raven's cryptic prophecy was clearer than its purpose – Bo would open the box her father had given her. _I can't let her do whatever it is he intends her to._ Finishing the scotch, she stood and strode towards the living room. That would probably be where she would find Zee and attempt to gain more information about them, for herself. And, if nothing else, that was where the bar was.

* * *

Hera and Zee were engaged in a heated exchanged on the balcony when the Valkyrie slowly slunk into the room. They both turned and noticed her approach, but continued their conversation as she moved ever closer to them. She caught the word 'show' as Hera hurried off past her to do gods know what. "Show?" Tamsin questioned as she moved to the balcony to join her hostess at the railing. She had never, up to this moment, talked directly with Zeus, and was slightly curious about her.

"So…they left you here to keep an eye on us." Hera stated, jumping to the most obvious reason she could think of for the Valkyrie to approach her given Bo's entourage had left long ago, and Tamsin was the singular guest remaining in her apartment.

Tamsin resisted the compulsion to blurt out that in fact, 'they' had simply abandoned her as 'they' had no further need of her services. The truth was the Valkyrie was there for the simple reason that she had nothing better to do. _Yeah, sure – they left me here with a job to do. Why not?_ And even though she was in control of her words, she couldn't stop the disappointment in her tone when she did speak. She agreed with her host in a sigh, leaning on the balcony rail and looking off in the distance, "Yeah, lucky me."

Zee ignored her mood, and got straight to the point with an order of her own for the strange Valkyrie, "Report this back to your friends: Bo's emancipation is now or never."

Tamsin turned to her, shocked that Zeus' priority was still Bo's return and not Iris'. "You aren't the least bit worried your daughter is missing?" she asked incredulously. _This woman is one cold bitch! She didn't care about Hera's flirting at the party or abduction and now doesn't even give a shit that Bo and crew are hell bent on finding Iris for themselves!_

But Zee had a ready answer, and shot back immediately, "Please! They're fine; they're kids. Meanwhile, Hades is about to wipe us all out!" The Valkyrie sighed at the mention of her former employer and looked away over the balcony. Zee watched carefully and quickly continued her persuasion, "We need Bo to complete the ceremony!"

"Well, good luck with that!" the taller blonde snarked in return despite herself. _Ha! As if Bo would ever listen to anything I have to say. Come to think of it, when does she ever listen to anyone?_

"What do you mean?" Zeus had picked up that Tamsin's ambivalent attitude had nothing to do with disregarding the danger posed by Hades, but something deeper – perhaps something related to what Hera had told her about the succubus choosing the doctor over her sole remaining guest. Things were starting to make sense to her now.

The Valkyrie turned back to face her, to assure her that she was on her side in regards to the issue of Bo severing her ties to her father, "No, I think Bo should separate from her father." She looked off and muttered against her own better judgment, "And I think Bo should make different relationship choices in general." _Shit, shit, shit, shit! I can't believe I just said that! I need to keep my fucking mouth shut!_

But Zee seemed highly intrigued by the sudden revelation, and probed deeper into the issue. She slowly moved to adopt Tamsin's position leaning over the railing tsking as she offered a conjecture, "Sounds like she's made bad choices about a lot of things." When her companion didn't reply, she prodded her, "Care to share?"

"No…" Tamsin turned to her and attempted a light-hearted laugh, made impossible by the loud exhale of the breath she didn't even know she had been holding. _She knows! And I already knew she knows! How can I get out of this! Gods below, I am such a fucking idiot when it comes to love! I have to convince her that none of this bothers me!_ "Ya know, I'm actually kind of relieved!" She turned away again, as her hostess regarded her carefully, but offered no comment. "No more waiting for the other shoe to drop." She did manage to get out a small laugh at that. But she was laughing at herself, and it was mirthless. Zee simply let out a hum at her odd statement, and didn't say anything to move the conversation along. _I have to let her know it doesn't bother me! I can't let her see my weakness!_ But, the more she tried to convince both Zee and herself that the failed love affair meant nothing to her, the more she lost control of her emotions and fell prey to her own pain. "I'm not really a relationship kinda person. You know, it's not in me. Kinda like a free bird." By the time she had finished, her voice was cracking, and she couldn't face the other woman as tears began to gather in the corners of her eyes.

Zeus regarded her now silent guest with awe. She was certainly not like any of the many Valkyrie the ancient fae had encountered in the past, and couldn't help but point that out. "I've never seen a Valkyrie cry." she stated softly.

Tamsin was once again ashamed. Ashamed of the love she should have never embraced and ashamed it drove her nearly to tears in the face of her enemy. She silently collected herself and swallowed down her pain as she stood in a show of strength before setting the record straight with Zee. She stood away from the railing and drew herself up to her full height before replying, "'Cause it's against type – no emotions on the battlefield. Yes ma'am. No ma'am. Doubt. Kill. Repeat." _Nailed it. Now we can move on and talk about something else._ But Zee seemed perfectly willing to let the Valkyrie choose the direction of the conversation, and silently watched her performance of hiding her emotions with a look of wonder on her face. She wasn't buying the sudden aggressive change in the Valkyrie's demeanor, and Tamsin's resolve surrendered as the other woman continued to stare knowingly at her. "You'd think by my last life I'd have this figured out." she mused aloud softly as her tears gathered again and her voice began to falter.

They stood in silence for a moment, until the hostess realized her guest would vent no further without encouragement. Zee stepped slowly closer to her before she replied, equally softly, "Word of advice," she placed a hand tenderly on Tamsin's cheek before she continued; "sometimes it can take centuries to figure it out."

If the ancient fae had the answer to getting rid of the heartache she felt, the Valkyrie urgently needed it. So, in desperation, she blurted out, "When did people stop hurting you?" Her voice cracked and was barely audible as she finished her question that was nothing less than a plea for answers. _She knows how I feel! She's been in my shoes; I can see it in her eyes!_

Zee answered her softly, at first, "They didn't…" her expression and tone changed drastically as she gave the Valkyrie the answer to her question, "…I started hurting them…." Her voice full of malice, she dropped her hand off of Tamsin's cheek and stepped even closer to the taller blonde and began her threats, "…and you're next!"

She was so close that the Valkyrie could feel her breath against her face. But she didn't back down, this was something Tamsin could do: react to a threat. "I doubt that." She stated forcefully, her confidence suddenly returning at the possibility of a fight.

Zee simply smiled and breathed out a short laugh as she turned and moved away from her guest on the balcony. The hostess was nearly hopping in triumph at getting her guest to open up to her before she threatened her life. She turned and pretended to examine a plant as she informed the Valkyrie, "Cassie tried to be brave, too. Poor girl." She turned back to her companion as she informed her, "Terrible eyesight, that one."

 _This woman is_ _ **insane**_ _! She has no regard for her own family and maybe it was best Bo left; who knows what she would have done! Still, maybe I can stop her. I owe it to Bo. I have nothing left to lose, and dying in battle with the enemy is better than dying broken hearted in some drunken bar brawl._ "You know, the difference between Cassie and me is that I can fly."

Zeus gave a smirk and barely audible short snort of laughter through her clenched lips, but said nothing. Instead, she maintained her distance and turned to look at the suddenly gathering dark clouds in the sky. Tamsin realized what was happening too late as a tremendous bolt of lightning followed Zee's eyes as they fell onto her. It was pain like nothing she had ever felt before, permeating every cell of her body, and she was paralyzed by it. A thousand thoughts and memories ran through her mind as the electricity surged through her: Bo warmly smiling at her, long ago battles, Kenzi's gentle mothering, playing pool at the Dal with Dyson, Freya and her demands for unquestioning obedience, her betrayal of both Bo and Acacia, but last of all Massimo's assertion that people like her died alone.

As she the bolt disappeared as quickly as it appeared, she fell helplessly to the floor with a groan. Her consciousness was fading quickly, but she couldn't help but laugh at herself, in her own mind, that her last thoughts in her last life were of the idiot druid. But he had been right, she was dying alone. _I have finally learned to laugh at it all, and the last laugh is on me! What a way to go!_

Then there was nothing but silence and darkness.


End file.
